Paper Stiptease

Every full moon my brain decides to resurrect itself, something that gives me the opportunity to do a little thinking. So I have a slightly weird thought, I'm guessing it's okay since I'm high on medication, and all alone.

Fact: Lewis Carroll based his children's novel on Alice Pleasance Liddell.
Fact: I love Alice in Wonderland, and Lolita.

Now, somehow I managed to compare Dodgsen's relationship to Alice, with Humbert Humbert relationship towards Dolores Haze. Set aside the assumptions that Dodgson was sexually involved with his 7-year old muse. Although that would only improve my connection. I don't care much for rumours, and at this point it would only be speculation. It's irks me that whenever an adult spends time with a child, people automatically assume the child's innocence is at risk. Anyway this is beside the point.

In Lolita, Humbert is a European intellect, with a history of mental illness. A man who falls madly in love with the nymphet Dolores Haze, or Lolita. I simply adore the fist page:

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my lions. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip o the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.
She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Doloras on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita."

As a reader I feel in love with him, and his taboo relationship, due to his seductively skilled language, and somehow was able to look past the fact that he was capable of rape and murder. However I wish to focus on the romantic part of the relationship, even though Lolita never really managed to love him with the same force of passion, again I'm referring to the emotional spectra.

Charles L. Dodgson, better known as Lewis Carroll must have cared for Alice a great deal, seeing as he entertained her, and her sibling with tales of great adventure, later becoming Wonderland. Even though I know fairly little about the Carroll Myth, and the legend he has left behind for us to ponder. I believe both Humbert and Dodgson experienced, to some extend the same form of love, though Humbert Humbert is a fictional character. I take some strange comfort in believing this, for love is such a beautiful essence, and for something so fragile to have created such wonderful literature is beyond me. Anyway that's my opinion, their lives just amaze me. I hope I experience that kind of passion, that "circulated'' through their veins, even just half would suffice.

What I wouldn't give to have the missing pages of Dodgson's dairy. If only I had known the Time Traveller I might have borrowed his machine.

Yours Truly,
Awkward Llama