I Feel Like A Piñata

Okay first off. Today was the day I realized winter was coming. I received this little revelation after slipping and losing my footing, due to the frosted pavement. I can't even begin to describe the hate I feel towards ice and hard rime. Sure it looks nice and peaceful, but it really is my worst enemy. It ruins your entire day, and it always comes back. You'll be walking along, feeling pretty good about yourself. You're having a good hair-day, or whatever makes you happy then BAM! You slip and fall to the ground. Humiliation and pain come crashing down, and the weird thing is that pain always comes second in those situations. If somebody see you fall, you instantly start laughing and making fun of yourself. You could be missing a leg, you'll still be trying to lighten the mood. "That was great, totally meant to do that. Awesome fall. German judge gives it a 10. Nailed the landing... *laughgigglejoy* Where's my leg. You saw it just catapult out of here. Guess it couldn't stand me any more. Get it? Oh, the hilarity." Then when you're alone you fall apart crying over your lost ligaments. All this because winter has to be a bitch on wheels. Now I love winter, I just don't have to like it.

Secondly, is the list. Something I really don't want to do, but somebody, you know who you are, has begun to threaten my life. Therefore I'm make a list about things I want. What I really want is to not have to talk about what I want. It makes me uncomfortable. Which is completely insane and irregular and I know it. Still I don't like it. I kind of dug my own grave here though. I'm man enough to admit it. The "I'll blog a list about things I want tonight" was a joke taken seriously. Damn sms... That been said I'll move on my material wishes.

* Michael Jackson Mega Box
* Visionary: The Video Singles
* The Michael Jackson Treasures
* Michael Jackson: The Magic and the Madness

... Really anything and everthing that consists of Jackson.

* Invader Zim
* Rye Coalition - Curses
* Porcupine Tree - In Absentia
* Bigbang - Electric Psalmbook
* Transmetropolitan vol. 3 Vol. 3: Year of the Bastard
* Sandman vol.3 Dream Country
* Preacher vol.2
* Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
* The Mentalist
* How I Met You Mother
* The L Word Season 3
* Battlestar Galactica
* House of D
* Toys
* Lolita (1997)

I don't think I can squeeze out any more than that. Three hours is more than enough, I need sleep. Oh my, turned out to be alot. I see now that most of it's pretty expensive, but I got a job so no problem.

... And you're mom pays well so...

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Indecent Exposure:
D'angelo - Feel Like Makin' Love
At first I thought he sang I feel like a piñata. I got the song from The L Word, the scene where Carmen does a little dance for Shane. Steamy and indecent at your service. It sucks that the series ended, the last season was a little disappointing as well. Then agian it only seems fair the series begins with Jenny, it should end with her.

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P.S. My 100th post. Yay me!

Such uberness you've never experienced before. Epic postage.

Smell It Properly

You know what the best gift you could possibly give is? Neither do I.

However I do know what the worst is, at least one of them. Soap. I realize the irony in me saying this, referring to my very real fear of germs. You would think soap was right up my alley. Oh how wrong you would be. I mean how many times can I be enthusiastic about bar of soap? Unless it turns you into frikkin Tinkerbell in the shower, and you have the ultimate Herbal Essences moment. Which by the way I'm still waiting for. Damn commercial more like Herbal's Empty Promises. Keep in mind that the gift you give also says something about your perception of that person. So when you saw a bar of soap you instantly thought of me? Am I not clean enough, is that it? Or do you just generally not care enough to give a something a little more original? I mean Jesus what's wrong with these people all soap smells the same. I don't know about you but I like neutral smells. Which is another thing, older women seem to drown themselves in perfume. Like they're trying to hide the smell of there body decomposing. I'm sorry but we can still see it. It's called ageing gracefully, you might want to try it.

I work incredibly hard to try and find presents I've heard others mention before. I stay up nights racking my brain to find something they'll actually like. So, if I give a bad gift it's not for lack of trying. I really do hope I give good presents. In my entire gift-giving life I have not once given soap to friends or relatives. Okay once I gave a bar of soap to a teacher I hated... strongly disliked. Don't ask my why, everyone was doing it. She said every time she used it she'd think of me. What sane adult says that to an ten-year-old? So now every time she's in the shower I'm the one she thinking about, while she scrubs down. Creeps. Me. Out! Soap has scared me for life. In my oppinion you can only buy soap in certain circumstances. One you're a kid with no money, and it's for you mom, and two you're a kid with no money and its for you grandmother. The instant you have money I don't understand why you buy soap. Even without money you could easily make something better. Arts & Crafts good times. Unless the person enjoys getting soaps in the shape of animals or sea-shells. It's like people who buy candles. Candles and soap, to me just say fuck you.

Question of the day. What's the most thoughtful gift you've ever received? Or just you're favorite? For me it's my precious little locket from my precious little bumble bee.

... and of course what you're mom gave me last night. Special.

Indecent Exposure:
Clutch - The Soapmakers
I know I've used this song before but honestly a post about soap needs a soapy-ish song.

Michael Jackson - Johnny Raven

Just because I like it.

So...Much...FILTH!

Germs are everywhere and I know it. It's one of many compulsions.

I am not a very tidy person, mostly because I'm lazy, big shocker there. I have to be in a housekeeping mood, which only happens if I can't sleep, I'm really bored, or people are coming over. Which reminds me I have to tidy up a bit before my precious visits. Cleaning's one of those tasks that you try to avoid, but when you're doing it, it's not really that bad. You know like your mom... Honestly I don't do it on propose, it's like my brain's been rewired.

Anywhoo, I'm not big on tidy, I am however a huge germ-freak. Seriously I wash my hands all the time, and if I can't, I sit there thinking about the germ colonies taking over. I can actually feel layers of germs crawling all over my skin. Germs are also the main reason, why I hate public bathrooms and libraries, because you just don't know what people do behind closed doors. Add to that my own little paranoia and you've got one messed up teen. I mean, I think I'm going to get an STD just from entering a public bathroom, and the amount of paper I use to feel safe is sickening. I could save an entire forest by staying at home, although the toilet paper these days are like 1/12 of a millimetre, not even that. So you would need the entire roll, anyway, but that's beside the point.

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The second I leave home I feel dirty. In my mind the unknown is filthy. It's not like I can't handle nature, that's completely different, is more humans that scare me. Don't even get me started on unidentified substance. Are you beginning to see my freaky. Seriously I don't even like going to other peoples toilets, unless I know them really well. You should probably know my best friend is a very clean and tidy person. Thank god for that! Not that it's a criteria or anything... Shaking hands is also a problem for me, because I'm a little pervy and my mind just goes there instantly. Like why were his hands in his pocket? Did she wash her hands after that?

I'm also very paranoid about whether other people wash their hands as much as I do. It causes alot of problems. Mainly the dreaded handshake. I look at your hand and I see a germ infestation. I see a germ there, there, there. I see alot of germs, so let me sprinkle some onions, some cheese, some mushrooms and ask me to shake you hand. I know it's completely insane and irrational, I don't even know why I do it. Another thing is I always notice where other people put their hands, for instance along the edge of my glass. I know nobody else knows it but I know it. I take a mental note and act acordingly, and before you ask no I don't like loose change either. The smell is revolting and you just know that smell is due to metall being held in a sweaty palm. Also if I've seen someone cough of sneeze in their hands. I take a mental note of it and just avoid them all together. I mean, come on everybody knows you sneeze in your elbow. Elbow, you know the hinge joint that connects your upper arm and forearm. Remember that kids.

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Oh my, I just realized who completely messed up my kids are going to be. Than again they would only be experiencing what I went through so they'll just have to suck it up, and rub some dirt on it. Sanitary dirt of course... Does that even exist? You see my mom's big of cleaning and has taught me well. She used to tell me about all the germs in the world. Not to scary me, well not intentionally. Lets just say it kept me from lick the sidewalk, and enjoying the wonders of a library. Everytime I hold one of those books it feels like my arm is going to fall off, from Typhus. I mean those yellow-brownish books used to be white once. Even though paper changes colour over time, it does change that drastically. No surrey bob, that colour only comes from hundreds of people, holding and rubbing and sneezing all over it. Then letting those germs grow and evolve into an unstoppable force. They're everywhere! I get shivers just from thinking about it. I should be living in a bubble. I'm completely aware of how this sounds. I know there are germs everywhere, and that most are necessary and good for you but still. They're germs and I'm one door short of a cabinet.

BTW! The girl I'm going to marry, she just doesn't know it yet, showed up at my workplace yesterday. A completely awesome surprise that I just love her for doing! Better than jumping out of a cake, although that would be pretty wicked too. This is actually the main reason I'm writing. To inform the world that my rent-a-friend does charity work as well. I'm joking, I'm joking. I don't have to buy it. I have plenty.... real. friends. *Kremt*

I'm sorry it took so long to post a new instalment of my indecent life, its just my throat's been really sore, and I've been feeling really sick. Which is strange, since I told your dad to just be gentle...

Yeah... I'm that many lames.

... I'm gonna roll around on the floor now...

Indecent Exposure:
Michael Jackson - Euphoria
I actually learned how to spell euphoria because of this song. So if I'm ever in doubt I just singing ''E. U. P. H. O. R. I. A. That the new word for today''. I love this song.
Just a little personal fun fact for yah.

Got This Love I Can Feel

Jeg har hatt en helt fortreffelig dag! Hvordan gikk det med deg?

I det siste har jeg oppdaget at jeg sjeldent blogger når jeg er glad og alt er fryd og gammen. Dette er noe jeg gjerne vil forandre. Du skjønner idag har vært glimrende, det er nesten som jeg har svevd på en sky i hele dag. Ikke har jeg vært trøtt heller. Jeg skal fortelle deg hvorfor dette er et viktig moment akkurat nu. Du skjønner jeg sto opp kl. 5 idag, for å rekke ned på jernbanetorget. Der Sony skulle lansere den nye låten til Michael Jackson, "This Is It". Singlen ble egentlig spilt inn i forbindelse med ''Off the Wall'' albumet, noe som er en smule spooky. Riktig nok slippes den som PR for den kommende samleplaten og allerede favoritt film ved samme navn. Jeg leste et sted at den opprinnelig skulle spilles som den siste låten på konserten hans. Personlig fikk jeg frysninger av låten, gode Jackson-frysninger. Jeg lukket øynene og ble fullstendig revet med. Den har spilt i hodet mitt hele dag, ikke rart dagen min har vært så fantastisk, når den startet slik!

Jeg fikk også en ny venn, en ekte Michael Jackson fan, jeg skal innrømme jeg ble glad da jeg møtte en som var like gal som meg selv. Needless to say vi delte historier. I am not alone. Hun må tro jeg er fullstendig freak, jeg tok litt av. Likevel var hun hyggelig og jeg håper vi holder kontakten.

Sangen var himmelsk! Selve opplegget derimot var litt uprofesjonelt. Norge er virkelig dårlig til å arrangere slike ting og jeg ble litt skuffet. Jaja, det var jo ikke derfor jeg dro. Det er bare litt trist når det er selveste kongen det gjelder. Har jeg sagt at jeg elsker sangen? Gleder meg til jeg får tak i den. Uheldigvis slippes den ikke før 26/10, dagen før filmen treffer kinoer verden over. GAH! Det er en evighet til.

''This is it''

This is it, here I stand
I’m the light of the world, I feel grand
Got this love I can feel
And I know yes for sure it is real

.

And it feels as though I’ve seen your face a thousand times
And you said you really know me too yourself
And I know that you have got addicted with your eyes
But you say you gonna live it for yourself.

.

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
C’mon baby, just understand

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This is it, I can say,
I’m the light of the world, run away
We can feel, this is real
Every time I’m in love that I feel

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And I feel as though I’ve known you since a thousand years
And you tell me that you’ve seen my face before.
And you said to me you don’t want me hanging round
Many times, wanna do it here before
.

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
C’mon baby, just understand

.

This is it, I can feel
I’m the light of the world, this is real
Feel my song, we can say
And I tell you I feel that way
.

And I feel as though I’ve known you for a thousand years
And you said you want some of this yourself
And you said won’t you go with me, on a while
And I know that it’s really cool myself
.

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
C’mon baby, just understand

.

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
C’mon baby, just understand

Drag A Doll By The Foot

Do you think manikins are dolls made to dress like humans or humans made to dress like dolls? Think about it.

Have you ever seen a manikin and mistaken it for a real live human being? I mean these days, most of the manikins used in department stores are pretty damn realistic. And it scares the sense right out of me. You'll be walking around minding my own business, awesome shirt, cool pants, turn a corner. Then bam! There it is, with this sick perverted look on its face. Like its been waiting for you. They stand there stiff, with their fixed gaze, almost as if they're frozen in time. Stuck between two worlds. Screaming, begging for someone to understand the truth they conceal. Semi-figures of us. A dream of perfection.

They're often used in horror movie, playing an essential part in the development of both scene and atmosphere. Puppets, dolls, manikins, marionettes, toys created to please a child. What makes these objects so frightful? Is it simply the thought of another person standing still for so long? Making the mind play tricks, never really knowing for sure? Is it the thought of a child's purity, captured in an empty casing? The owners essence being passed on from generation to generation? The fact that they look human but aren't? Or is it their wide eyes, and smile, the facial expression as a whole, that induces chills throughout the body? You see happy people freak me out as well, it's just not normal... Constantly smiling. I always wonder why they're so happy. Is it because they chopped up dear ol' dad and mom's in the freezer? I think most people have some sort of reaction to overly ecstatic people. I mean it's not our fault, that literature and films choose to portray happiness as insanity. You need a reason to smile, otherwise it's just weird. Riiight, no more horror marathons for Merete...

Anyway. Dolls are extremely life-like, too life-like if you ask me. I keep thinking they'll wake up from some deep slumber and go straight for the jugular. Crazy right? Or is it. Don't tell me you don't backup a few steps, after encountering a manikin. Especially when it comes to museums. You never know what goes on in those places. The smell, the dark lights, and generally no sound at all, maybe like a low humming at the very less. Honestly I have the worst experiences with manikins. I'll even share one with you... *Que the awesome flashback haze* My family and I were at this civil war monument slash museum when I was around 8 or so. I remember it exactly, it was the Jenny Wade – house in Gettysburg. So we're having a looksee, and there's a manikin by the kitchen table. Well, out of nowhere the doll starts making noises, really creepy sounds, and a face begins to appear. Suddenly it's starts talking. A doll started telling her story, like he was asleep and then woke up. And you wonder why I'm scared of dolls attacking.

I don't remember all the details but her story went something like this. The Confederate troops were looking for supplies so people were hiding their food. At the same time Northern troops were also marching into Gettysburg (the good guys). Therefore many citizens decided to retreat to their cellars as protection against battle shells, since a confrontation was enevitable. Jennie (which actually was her nickname, she was born Mary Virginia Wade) and her family thought her sister's home would be safe enough, since it wasn't in the direct line of the fire. She prepared bread for the Union soldiers and filled their canteens with water. When the Confederates fired on the area, including the Wade house. Jennie refused to retreat to the basement. She was making biscuits for the Northern soldiers and felt it was her patriotic duty to remain. A confederate soldier, fired and the bullet went through the door of the Wade house and struck Jennie in the back. Now that's a bad day.

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Oh, but the trauma doesn't stop there, no. I absent-mindedly went down to the basement and foolishly entered this tiny little room. Guess what was there. On a narrow bench lay a girl with a white linen cloth covering her entire body, with the except of her black pointy leather shoes. That image still haunts me to this day. I thought it was a corpse and completely froze. I stood utterly still until the rest of the tour group caught up with me. The guide thought showing me the dolls face would help. You knwo snap me out of it. That night I had my first nightmare. Just the mere thought make me want to curl up and die. I just relized I've never told anyone this. I mean people know dolls freak me out, just not the reason behind it. I hadn't really gven it much thought up until now. Kind of a relief knowing it's childhood trauma and not a screw loose, eventhough I have several. Who needs a skrink when you can just blog about it. Hope you liked my personal insight. Deep right? Like a puddle.

Not all dolls are scary, I suppose but the older they are, the more intense they seem. Creeps me out.

... I don't want creepy doll pictures on my blog because I'll freak everytime I log on, and I'm not posting any freaky links either so you can just forget it...

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Maybe just one...

TheGr3yZon3:
Puddle Of Mudd - Blurry
I love this song.