So...Much...FILTH!

Germs are everywhere and I know it. It's one of many compulsions.

I am not a very tidy person, mostly because I'm lazy, big shocker there. I have to be in a housekeeping mood, which only happens if I can't sleep, I'm really bored, or people are coming over. Which reminds me I have to tidy up a bit before my precious visits. Cleaning's one of those tasks that you try to avoid, but when you're doing it, it's not really that bad. You know like your mom... Honestly I don't do it on propose, it's like my brain's been rewired.

Anywhoo, I'm not big on tidy, I am however a huge germ-freak. Seriously I wash my hands all the time, and if I can't, I sit there thinking about the germ colonies taking over. I can actually feel layers of germs crawling all over my skin. Germs are also the main reason, why I hate public bathrooms and libraries, because you just don't know what people do behind closed doors. Add to that my own little paranoia and you've got one messed up teen. I mean, I think I'm going to get an STD just from entering a public bathroom, and the amount of paper I use to feel safe is sickening. I could save an entire forest by staying at home, although the toilet paper these days are like 1/12 of a millimetre, not even that. So you would need the entire roll, anyway, but that's beside the point.

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The second I leave home I feel dirty. In my mind the unknown is filthy. It's not like I can't handle nature, that's completely different, is more humans that scare me. Don't even get me started on unidentified substance. Are you beginning to see my freaky. Seriously I don't even like going to other peoples toilets, unless I know them really well. You should probably know my best friend is a very clean and tidy person. Thank god for that! Not that it's a criteria or anything... Shaking hands is also a problem for me, because I'm a little pervy and my mind just goes there instantly. Like why were his hands in his pocket? Did she wash her hands after that?

I'm also very paranoid about whether other people wash their hands as much as I do. It causes alot of problems. Mainly the dreaded handshake. I look at your hand and I see a germ infestation. I see a germ there, there, there. I see alot of germs, so let me sprinkle some onions, some cheese, some mushrooms and ask me to shake you hand. I know it's completely insane and irrational, I don't even know why I do it. Another thing is I always notice where other people put their hands, for instance along the edge of my glass. I know nobody else knows it but I know it. I take a mental note and act acordingly, and before you ask no I don't like loose change either. The smell is revolting and you just know that smell is due to metall being held in a sweaty palm. Also if I've seen someone cough of sneeze in their hands. I take a mental note of it and just avoid them all together. I mean, come on everybody knows you sneeze in your elbow. Elbow, you know the hinge joint that connects your upper arm and forearm. Remember that kids.

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Oh my, I just realized who completely messed up my kids are going to be. Than again they would only be experiencing what I went through so they'll just have to suck it up, and rub some dirt on it. Sanitary dirt of course... Does that even exist? You see my mom's big of cleaning and has taught me well. She used to tell me about all the germs in the world. Not to scary me, well not intentionally. Lets just say it kept me from lick the sidewalk, and enjoying the wonders of a library. Everytime I hold one of those books it feels like my arm is going to fall off, from Typhus. I mean those yellow-brownish books used to be white once. Even though paper changes colour over time, it does change that drastically. No surrey bob, that colour only comes from hundreds of people, holding and rubbing and sneezing all over it. Then letting those germs grow and evolve into an unstoppable force. They're everywhere! I get shivers just from thinking about it. I should be living in a bubble. I'm completely aware of how this sounds. I know there are germs everywhere, and that most are necessary and good for you but still. They're germs and I'm one door short of a cabinet.

BTW! The girl I'm going to marry, she just doesn't know it yet, showed up at my workplace yesterday. A completely awesome surprise that I just love her for doing! Better than jumping out of a cake, although that would be pretty wicked too. This is actually the main reason I'm writing. To inform the world that my rent-a-friend does charity work as well. I'm joking, I'm joking. I don't have to buy it. I have plenty.... real. friends. *Kremt*

I'm sorry it took so long to post a new instalment of my indecent life, its just my throat's been really sore, and I've been feeling really sick. Which is strange, since I told your dad to just be gentle...

Yeah... I'm that many lames.

... I'm gonna roll around on the floor now...

Indecent Exposure:
Michael Jackson - Euphoria
I actually learned how to spell euphoria because of this song. So if I'm ever in doubt I just singing ''E. U. P. H. O. R. I. A. That the new word for today''. I love this song.
Just a little personal fun fact for yah.