My Indecent References

Long time no type.

2011-09-26T01:46:00.001-07:00

La oss hoppe rett inn i det, sa brudgommen til bru'ra

Etter en lang uke borte på Simula, der vi skulle lære hvordan å bli bedre foredragsholdere, men egentlig bare fokuserte oss om at powerpoint var djevlen selv, kunne jeg endelig fortsette på ex.phil oppgaven min. Jeg måtte selvfølgeluig lage muffins først. Og vaske hybelen. Og se en film. Og sove litt. Og gjøre hva som helst annet jeg kunne finne på for å distansere meg fra det akademiske livet som truer seg ned halsen min og triggrer brekningsrefleksen min.

Etter mye om og men, klage og sytting, tok jeg tak i nakkeskinnet og filleristet litt vett inn i hodeet på meg, man må være litt streng av og til. Uheldigvis var jeg hakket for streng og brukt de neste 5 minutter på å trøste grinebiter'n. Spiste en muffins også var alt vel.

Tilslutt satt jeg meg ned foran skjerm og ventet på arbeidsmontasjen min, slik som i alle filmene. Der personene fremstår som både smart og kul. Skulle ønske jeg kunne ha det slik. Den gang ei. Jeg innså fort at å skrive 3000 ord på en 11' skjerm ikke var et sjakktrekk, så jeg koblet til en eksterm skjem, som jeg hadde liggende. Det virker rart, men jeg har en data fra 60-tallet-ish stående på pulten i hørnet. Da var jeg klar, jeg åpnet skriveprogrammet, og satte igang. Etter kort tid fant jeg ut at hvis jeg kobler til et eksternt tastaturet kunne jeg sitte i de absurde stillingen jeg liker best, men DA var jeg klar nå skulle det skrives for harde livet. Jeg har nemlilg innsett at oppgaven min er utrolig interressant og jeg koser meg virkelig med den, selv om jeg er ufattelig redd for å tolke filosofien på feil måte og ikke skrive gramatisk korrekt. Det er ikke så lett for realfag studenter å forstå seg på slike essentielle ferdigheter. Jeg sliter i det minste med det, men nå har jeg slitt med slikt hele livet. Sølvførlgelig måtte jeg få problemer med internett, men bare på den ene datamaskinen. Det skjønner jeg bare ikke og Houston kunne ikke fortelle meg problemet heller. Bare ikke den søte litte datamaskinen min ikke er ødelagt.

Jeg syntes det er litt drøyt å måtte bruke tre maskiner for en oppgave.

Ellers føler jeg meg godt utrustet "to the teeth" men faglig kunnskap om Humes moralfilosofi. Jeg brukte en liten ting de kaller for bibliotek, et sted jeg ikke har vært siden jeg var ung og håpefull, men ikek misnt arbeidsløs. Da ville jeg ta bussen eller sykkelen ned til Bekkestua Bibliotek og låne Anne Rice sine vampyr bøker. Oh lestat! Gode tider, men nå som jeg har mulighet til å bestille bøkene rett hjem fra internetski gjør jeg heller det. Liker bedre å fylle bokhyllen. Uansett i tillegg til bibliotek bøker, jeg må bare si at bibliotekarene på uio er HELT fantastiske og jeg elsker dem alle sammen, har jeg brukt oppgaven som en unnskyldning for å endelig, jeg har lyst til å si lese, men det vil være mer korrekt å si blad i Darwins "Origin of Species". En bok som har stått i hyllen i minst et år, jeg kjøpte den da Bill Bryson kom på besøk til Blindern og tenkte NÅ skal jeg være flink student å lese faglig litteratur som ikke er på pensum. Den skjedde ikke for å si det sånn. Boken har forsåvidt ikke vært til mye hjelp, ettersom den handler om evolusjon og jeg skal skrive om moralitet. Heldigvis er biologi delen av oppgaven så å si i boks, takket være studiet mitt.

MONTAGE!

Jeg så dette bildet og kunne ikke la være å le.
Jeg har tydligvis prøvd å virke utrolig intellegent.

P.S. Det blåser som skjørte til en hore ute, kan se for meg at the eye of the storm er rett rundt hjørne. Sinnykt glad for at jeg ikke er ute.. og at det ikke er høye trær inærheten av vinduet mitt. Jeg får noia bare ved tanken.

Uping the dates

2011-08-03T03:44:00.000-07:00

Okay so I realize cold brewing is a fine art and I am but a young grasshopper. One day I shall master the skill and be one with the tea leaves.

Jeg lot teen stå i kjøleskapet i omtrent 12 timer og da jeg skulle smake ble jeg litt skuffet. Det smakte rett og slett som kald te som hadde stått og trukket for lenge, Men jeg gir ikke opp så lett. Neste gang skal jeg prøve gjøre det tidlig om morgen slik at jeg kan smake på den etter hver time. Jeg får skrive en liten journal og finne ut hvordan man skal perfeksjonere metoden.

Likevel er det deilig med et glass hjemmelagd iste, mens jeg sitter og venter på at klesvasken skal bli ferdig og forbanner solen for å ha brent meg. Jeg er blitt bekymret for at jeg kanskje har fremkalt brystkreft eller hudkreft eller noe lignende på grunn av my failure.

Jeg er klar over at det er ganske kjedelig å lese om te laging, men inntil jeg får tak i de riktige ingrediensene blir det sånn.

Solbrent på Nipper'n

2011-08-01T13:44:00.000-07:00

Jell-O to you my dear but slightly crazy bannana milk shake. long thyme, no sea. *thoroughly impressed by myself.* Jeg må bare tørke litt støv og skremme bort edderkoppene så skal jeg skrive et heftig innlegg. trallallaaaaa! Ålright så var det en liten overdrivelse, men det er halve morroa.

Det er lenge siden jeg har blogget, grunnet lite blogglyst og en generell "giddalaus-het", men nå skal jeg bli flinkere... igjen. Jeg ble for et par dager siden slått ihjel av et kreativt innslag og gleder meg veldig til å se hvordan det utfolder seg, det eneste dumme er at panduro har så godt som monopol på markedet og har valgt ganske stygge priser på det jeg trenger. Hva skal en stakkars student gjøre? Jeg blir nok nødt til å prostituere meg. Any takers?
"Will give head for money"
Nei da.. jeg bare tuller, menegentligikke, eller gjøre jeg det?

Anyprostitute, jeg finner alltids en eller annen løsning skråstrek alternative.

Hvordan har sommerferien din vært?

Startet ikke på jøbb før kl.16. Fantastisk!

Min har vært helt fantastisk, selv med et par uker regn. Jeg har vært en tur innom Spania, Sverige, og hytta. Hvem vet det ligger kanskje en til tur til fredrikstad? Det jeg egentlig vil fortelle om er at jeg lagde iste idag.
And let me tell you I'm really excited about it. Jeg leste om en metode kalt cold brewing og det virket så spennende at jeg måtte prøve det asap. Det er utrolig enkelt egentlig.
Du kommer til å trenge:
- en beholder, helst av glass; av erfaring har jeg merket at det ikke avgir smak, slik som plast og metall. Jeg brukte en karaffel.
- te, det ble anbefalt løsvekt, men fyren virket som en tesnobb, i kommentarfelte hadde noen skrevet at det er like greit med poser. Jeg kjøpte en pose løsvekt te godt egnet for iste-laging så jeg prøver den.
- vann
Og sikkert et filter for teen etterhvert, jeg fant ikke noe te sil siden jeg har stjålet den folka mine hadde og lot den ligge på hybelen. I am so smrt!

Det ser en smule giftig ut. Jeg gleder meeeeeg!

Hemmligheten bak cold brewing er tid og kulde. There thats it. Go hence fourth! Jeg blandet det etter jobb idag og utifra rådet til Mr.Teasnob vil det være klart til å drikk ti på åtte imorgen tidlig. Han anbefalte 12 timer minumum. Yes yes I shall keep you updated, håper det smaker godt! Tenker jeg tar det med på jobben og chiller. Hvis du lurer regnet jeg en spiseskje per glass.

Jeg ble egentlig så oppslukt i cold brewing at jeg begynte å lure på om det ville fungere med iskaffe også. Du skjønner jeg blir veldig glad når jeg finner nye metoder som kan forbedre de gamle rutinene mine. Jeg er en trofast kaffe og te drikker, men kaffen blir av og til enten for bitter eller syring og det øddelegger selve smaken syntes jeg. Dette kommer av temperturen noe som er essentielt for både kaffe og te, noe jeg aldri har brydd meg om. Jeg er en -vannkoker&tepose/kaffetrakter&filterkaffe- kind of girl, men har i det siste begynte å vandre dypere inn i de to eksotiske verdenene og har sinnsykt lyst på bli en kaffe/te-snob. Jeg digger sånne mennesker og ler meg ihjÆl av sånt. Det jeg skulle si før jeg ble revet med var at cold brewing fungerer utmerket for iskaffe også noe jeg skal prøve meg på snart, jeg har jo himmelsk starbucks kaffe liggende i skapet. Det ser ut som cold brewing av kaffe gir 90% smak og liten eller ingen bitterher og syrlig smak. Da jeg leste dette ble jeg stor fornøyd og begynte å sikle etter en presskanne. Det eneste dumme er at de er dyre og da må jeg være sikker på at dette ikke er en fase som går over så fort jeg våkner om en uke.

Anybore jeg finner ut imorgen om cold brewing er så bra som jeg innbilder meg. Nå er det på tide å legge seg, hvordan ellers vil jeg overleve de små trollene som løper rundt i butikken? Heldigvis er det ikke så mange kunder fortiden, noe som betyr at jeg kan slappe av med lydbok og rydde butikken i et fint tempo. Jeg liker ikke å stresse med vasking. Jeg blir tross alt betalt for å gjøre en jobb og da vil jeg helst gjøre den grundig. Jeg tror vi skal få inn noen nye varer også, noe som er like gøy hver gang. Det er noe veldig avslappende ved å finner priser og stable klær. Jeg føler meg også hakket mer viktig når jeg får sånne oppgaver, et fint avbrekk fra å vaske gulv og tørke støv. Vi får håpe det blir en morsom dag.

Sleep tight cyberspace!

P.S. orker ikke rette på rett ikveld gjøredet vel imorgen... kanskje :]
P.P.S jeg skal ALDRI sole med toppløs igjen. it smarts...
P.P.P.S Jeg hadde mareritt idag der familien til kjærsten min kidnappen meg og bestevennen min, drepte My BFF og holde meg fange også vider også videre. Jeg våknet gasping for air og tårevåt. Innså ikke at det var en drøm før om et par minutter. Det er lenge siden jeg har opplevd noe slik. Imeanwhatthefuck! It really freaked me out. Jeg husker ikke om selve fyren var med, det var hovedsakelig tanten hans som var responsible, selv om det lignet mer på Michelle Forbes. It was messed up.
Jeg måtte høre på Bowie i godt over en timer før jeg klarte å møte verden igjen.‪

I can feel parts of my brain, falling away like wet cake...

2011-05-06T07:05:00.000-07:00

Det er utrolig hvor gøy man kan ha det på internett.
... Rett før eksamen...

Braiding my beard

2011-05-05T01:16:00.000-07:00

So how was your day?
Never in my life has a day been more exciting! I' mean talk about variety.

Woke up
Breakfast
Porn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Thinking "porn" is a weird word.
Porn
Kramp
Porn
Porn
Porn
Popcorn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Back started aching, turned over
Porn
Porn
Porn
Hand got tired
Porn
Lunch
Porn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Telephone call from mummy
.... awkward....
Porn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Thought about doing some school work but this girl was doing some really interesting things from rather absurd angles
.... Fascinating...
Porn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Dinner
Porn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Sleepiness kicking inn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Porn
Pornnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Update

2011-05-03T15:32:00.001-07:00

They were just looking for the volum dial...
I feel old.

talking about salad for five hours

2011-05-03T15:02:00.000-07:00

Time: 00:26
Date:4th of may
Mood: Bleak, annoyed, above all tired, I'm tired. All in all horrible.

Do you want to know why? Well, of course not.

That doesn't mean I'm not going to tell you anyway though.

That damn russ.

I hate them.

Wait, hate is such a strong word, too bad it's not strong enough to describe my disapproval. I loathe them, they irk me, I'm vexed, irrate.

I'm kidding I'm actually very fortunate, you see they're having this huge mother of a party just a couple meters away from where I live. So, I get to listen to that wonderful, absolutly breath-taking music all night.

My goat, Captain Oats! No wonder they drink so much that music is crap with a capitol: PISS.OFF.

I have no problem with those little insects having yet another excuse to party, just don't do it so close to civilazation or at least be within range. That's all I ask. Don't keep me up all night without a good reason, not unless I can join in on the fun.
...

WAIT! it stopped! Oh, happy day! I have to fall asleep before they find the play button agian. Thank goat todays youth is so worthless.

... but no one puts flowers on a flower's grave

2011-04-08T13:14:00.000-07:00

Akkurat nå fikk jeg utrolig lyst til å lage en kollasj; dekke hele rommet med utklipp av blader jeg verken har lest eller kommer til å lese.

Nå kan jeg angrer på at jeg unngikk motebladene i bladhylla ved kassa til den lokale dagligvarehandelen. Innser også det var dumt å kaste tenåringsbladene, men hvordan kunne jeg vite at fremtids-Merete, altså nåværende meg, kom til å få et slikt et innfall? (Jeg skriver kaste, men jeg mener resirkulering, man må jo være så inn i granskauen politisk korrekt at jeg mister all vilje til å gå ut døren) Skal jeg ta var på alt og ingenting, sånn i tilfellet jeg engang kommer til å få bruk for det? Jeg ville blitt like gal som Renfield. "The things are life. The things are life" Man kan umulig si han fikk en lykkelig slutt, det må være ganske smertefullt å bli knust på den måten. Stakkar jeg syntes alltid så synd på Renfeild. Meste fordi det var Tom Waits som spilte han i '92, men han er relativt sympatisk i boken også. Nå er jo påske rett rundt hjørne, så du vet hva det betyr. Jeg gleder meg til å lese boken om igjen, den gir meg utrolig nok en varm følelse.

Så var det det kollasjet, og alle tingene jeg må ta vare på. Nå har for så vidt trangen forsvunnet, men la oss late som jeg fremdeles har lyst til å fjerne alle møblene fra rommet mitt og klistre halvnakne kvinner og menn som ligner på Jesse Custer på veggene. Lag på lag av kropper, en orgie av papir og lim og glitter. Det må være glitter. Glitter and Doom. Jeg må se den mannen live, enten på denne siden av jorda eller under den, om ikke du vet hvem jeg snakker om liker jeg deg ikke.

Hvordan fremstiller man doom? Det er ikke noe konkret, man kan rett og slett ikke ta på en gjenstand å si "Ja, dette er undergangen". Eller kanskje man kan det? Da jeg rørte ved Twilight var det som sjelen ble kloret av skarpe negler. Fins det en spesifikk gjenstand som skriker doom, eller er det mer subjektivt enn som så? Kanskje en rose kan symbolisere det? De er jo så å si dømt til å dø, når jeg henge de til tørk. Det er en ganske vakker død, jeg innrømmer det. Det er nesten så jeg skulle ønske å være en tørket rose selv. De er ikke verdens mest originale plante; heller ikke den peneste og hvert fall ikke favoritten min, men de gjør jobben sin. Der har du ei plante som er skapt for å være pen og utfører jobben selv om den dør. Jeg tror jeg har undervurdert denne planten. Før så likte jeg den ikke fordi de var over alt. Alle ga hverandre roser. Alltid roser. Det er den mest hjernedød hadlingen man kan gjøre. Hygglig men det er ikke mye tanke bak det. Noen er syke, du har gjort en feil, bursdag, selskap, dødsfall, hvilken som helt anledning. Du kan banne på at noen gir roser. Hvorfor det? Fordi de er pene og de er overalt. Det er enten roser eller tulipaner. Åh gud! Tulipaner, der har vi en blomst som gir meg lyst til spy. Ikke spør meg hvorfor, for jeg ville ikke kunne gi deg et svar. Roser derimot fortjener en ny sjanse.

Det ble litt mye prat om blomster, det må jeg bare beklage. Jeg fikk nylig en god bedring bukett av foreldrene mine og gjett hva slags det var? Selvfølgelig var det roser. Jeg skal ikke late som jeg er Shakespear og utdype noe mer enn å si, de er pene. Jeg har selvsagt tørket et par allerede. Det er en selvfølge når jeg får roser, ikke at det skjer så ofte. Jeg stopper her, la merke til retningen dette komme til å gå. Ufattelig kjedelig prat om bakgrunnen til de døde rosene mine. Hellige skilpadde jeg er spennende, aldri et kjedelig øyeblikk med Merete... Kommer sikker til å ende opp som gammel pensjonist omringet av døde rose. Det er bedre enn døde katter, men så må man jo holde tradisjonen i live.

Kanskje jeg heller skal klippe opp tegneseriene i bokhylla og lime det på veggen. Det ville vært litt mer personlig. Større sannsynlighet for at sluttresultatet blir bra. Nei, det ville vært galskap. Det er vel best å unngå hele prosjektet. Dessuten blir jeg sliten av tanken. Det er ikke noe vits å late som heller. kvinneblad... Jeg hater sånne ting. sminke, klær, kalorier og sex. Er det virkelig dette jeg skal bryr meg om? Hvorfor skal jeg bruke femtilappen min på det røvle der! Det er hverken interessant, eller morsomt. Nei, jeg kjøper heller ei god flask vin og ei billig hore, så tar vi helgen dere. Eller hva?

Ille er det og verre skal det bli. Liker du overgangen? Du ville kanskje være alene med hora? Det er du for så vidt ikke alene med, men vi får holde ut litt til. Det ble en del prat om roser og døden og Tom Waits skjønner du, og jeg kom nettopp på at denne fantastiske mannen har en veldig fin sang om nettopp dette. "Flower's Grave". Sangen er fra "Alice albumet, som er basert på "Alice in Wonderland".

Jeg vet ikke med deg, men jeg vil ha "Flower's Grave" i begravelsen min.

"Someday the silver moon and I will go to dreamland
I will close my eyes and wake up there in dreamland
And Tell me who will put flowers on a flower's grave?
Who will say a prayer?

Will I meet a China rose there in dreamland?
Or does love lie bleeding in dreamland?
Are these days forever and always?

And if we are to die tonight
Is there a moonlight up ahead?
And if we are to die tonight
Another rose will bloom

For a faded rose
Will I be the one that you save?
I love when it showers
But no one puts flowers
On a flower's grave

As one rose blooms and another will die
It's always been that way
I remember the showers
But no one puts flowers
On a flower's grave

And if we are to die tonight
Is there a moonlight up ahead?
I remember the showers
But no one puts flowers
On a flower's grave"

You can't really know anyone, until you see how they act trynna get into your pants...

2011-04-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

Midterm is over, and I feel empty inside...

NOT! Jaysis, it feels so good to be done with it all. The weird thing is that is felt like finals, only worst, because it wasn't. You know what I mean? There I was bending over backwards for physics? Are you fucking kidding me? (You’re gonna have to pardon the foul language I've been drinking. Yeah yeah sinners repent, and all that bizniz) seriously though physics? Now don't get me right. I think it's fascinating, and while taking the course I've learned a whole bunch of nifty stuff, that I can only use if I ever have a kid and it asks me why the sky is blue or why it hurts to touch fire. Of course that SINario is only if I find a sperm donor willing to reproduce awesome offspring, that won't be anything like the little shitfucks that run around my workplace. Do I come to your office and cry over a goddamn stapler? No, I don't. Get-the-fok-out-of-here!

I'm a little on edge right now, since I've been working all day. Can you tell? My god those customers are a piece of work. I wonder if I’m as bad. If not I’m upping the empy. It’s not just the customers that have me slightly unhinged, I've also been ready comics, I mean graphic novels. Jaysis I laugh my arse off when people actually feel the need to point that out. It’s like when guys try to explain they never played with dolls. They always scream Action! Figure! While desperately clinging to the male version of how Barbie would look if she had had a Y chromosome. If it's plastic and ready to obey you every command, then it's a doll. I probably just described half of the world population, which makes me want to smear my brain up against the wall.

I guess the only reason I’m writing this is because I need human contact, and the computer was closer than the door. Hello my dear cyber friend, you're as good as the real thing right? Right?! God I'm lazy. Anyway it explains my current state of mind. Its very devil may go fcuk himself... I guess this is what happens, when I'm left alone; all of a sudden I'm this total prick, I would wash my soul but soap just won't do the job. Nobody has time for a full on acid cleanse these days anyway.

Lately I've been regretting the fact that I wasted my youth, and I say youth even though I've only spent 20 years dying. I should have been more of a... I'd like to say slut but nobody really want to be a whore. I've had so many chances to "live". What was I so afraid of! What could have gone so horribly wrong, besides ending up with a toe tag. (Details…) I mean looking back at how I was in the early stages I was pathetic; I was Holden without the goddamn red hunting hat. It's embarrassing really. I'm still sort of a basket case but the amount of retard has somewhat lessened. Hopefully. Now that I think about it I didn't really have that many opportunities to "live". What does that even mean? Living. I breathe; on occasion I've even been known to have a few thoughts. I'm alive. Right?

I used this online search engine to find the definition of alive;
In existence or operation,
full of living of moving things,
full of activity of animation

Why do I suddenly feel like I'm living in the matrix? In existence... Those. Bastards. That is a poorly defined definition, it could mean anything, and I refuse to diving head first into an existential ocean of people with way too much time on their hands. I mean, come on, philosophers are really just a bunch of freeloaders sitting around a campfire masturbating over their highly refined ideas of how life is in a shadow realm and the incompetence of the human race. So either you tell me something I don't know or you get-a-real-job! (I don't know why but I suddenly very glad nobody reads my blog)
Even though the definition of alive let me down life can be explained through a more scientific approach. Biology. Well, it's more scientific than Kant. He just pisses me off.
Life;
the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.

Last time I checked I was carbon based, and I do have this nasty habit of eating three times a day. Come to think of it I did adapt fairly well to the whole moving out of mama and papa bears house. So that means I'm... Oh, wait I haven't reproduced. There you have it, I must be dead. Online dictionaries suck ass.

I thought definitions were supposed to make things more clear? If you can define your entire world, then poff you know the meaning of life. But all I got out of it was finding out I'm dead, and that's kind a shock. I think I need to sit down. Can dead people even sit? I have never, not once, seen a zombie sit down; all they ever do is drool, moan and walk around. That does sort of sound like me. Let's just hope my arm doesn't fall off, although that would be a good defense mechanism.
If it hadn't been for the fact that I'm dead I would think my life was fairly boring, aside from the awesome people i surround myself with. However as far as deaths go, mine is pretty rockin'. How many corpses can say they walk around in daylight, drink coffee, and talk to the living without freaking them out? My death is pretty epic. That's probably what happens when you're such a dull person in life, you death sort or has to measure out the suckiness. I'm probably stuck in some sort of limbo until suckiness and awesomeness weight equal the same. I'm not complaining.

I remember when I was alive, I was such a dork. Always on the straight and narrow, at least so some extent. Teenager will be teenager, you know how it is. We all know what keeps you straight (hold on I’m gonna go fill my glass). In my case there were a few factors, you know it's never just that one thing. Mostly it was fear and my mom, but mostly my mom. The thought of mummy dearest going apeshit off the wall, still gives me the gebbies. I'm telling you, had it not been for my mom I would have ended up in a motel down by the freeway snorting coke off some hookers’ ass. Okay probably not but I wouldn't have turn down as much. I regret that, saying no. Sure I had fun, but it was wholesome and clean, all very after school special.

I want to look down at some random kid and tell 'em about "back when". I want the level of "fucked up" to rise to new highs. Give me a past I can be ashamed of in a way that would make Richards proud. I guess what I'm really trying to say is my life is so goddamn average it's killing me. The coroner is probably going to take one look at my remains and state COD: boredom...

So what am I gonna do now? Don’t have the slightest idea.

I think this is fairly self explanatory...

2011-02-28T10:38:00.000-08:00

It's times like these that make you wish you had never moved out. This is officially the first time, since my personal little act of independence, better known as, “moving out”, that I've been sick. And let me tell you; It's no walk in the park. It really bit me in the ass. Just getting up to boil water is enough to make my head spin. That heavenly tea comes with a price, I tell you. So here I am sitting in bed, I say sitting but I been dying, thinking about pouring water into my mug whilst half-heartedly watching "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb", probably not a good idea, seeing as laughing only make me couch up lung-flesh. Fortunately, I doubt I have the energy.

Kill me!To quote dear dr. Frankenfurter it would be a "mercy killing". I haven't been this ill since I can remember. Although I most likely have been this ill. It's just that you always think this time, right now is the worst time, and although everyone around you is just as, or more than for that matter, ill as you. You simply can't look beyond you're own thriving bacterial colony. SNEEZE! oh! and there we have some lung flesh as well. How nice of you to visit. I'm going to bed now... head aching. back throbbing, nose running, ears clogged, lips chapped, eyes boiling, throat dying. In summary my immune system as failed me horrible, simply because I forgot to renew my warranty.

Elsk meg for faen!

2011-02-15T14:53:00.001-08:00

Valentines day må være den mest ubrukelige oppfunnet "høytiden" vi har, for lack of a better word. Man burde rett og slett ignorere dagen og dette sier jeg ikke bare fordi jeg er en bitter og enslig student som kommer til å dø alene med 42 overvektige katter og knuste drømmer. Jeg lot dagen gå meg rett forbi med hodet hevet, rett og slett fordi jeg ikke trenger den vestlige verdens godkjennelse via handel av ubrukelige gaver. Hvis du må bli minnet på å elske kjæresten din, er noe gått galt.

Det jeg prøver å si er at vi burde ikke trenge en offesiell dag for å feire den man elsker, og den man elsker tenger ikke nødvendligvis være den man sover med, og den man sover med trenger ikke nødvendigvis være den man utfører seksuelle handlinger med, og den man utfører seksuelle handlinger med trenger ikke nødvendigvis være den man elsker. Ser du sirkelen? kjærlighet kommer i mange former og er ikke noe man burde føle seg tvunget til å vise. Det er en personlig opplevelse som man har lov til å beholde for seg selv. Jeg klarer ikke surre hodet rundt min generasjons behov for å proklamere hver minste handling, tanke og følelse til verden. Ingen bryr seg om du har vært på tur, det er et utrolig tørt tema. man kan like godt si, idag er det ikke sol. så interressant er det. Jeg innser selvfølgelig at jeg bet nettopp hånden som mater meg, ettersom jeg selv er en av disse horene. hostkremtharenbloggkremt. den eneste forskjellen er at jeg ikke bombaderer noen med statusoppdateringer og kommentarer. Thumb it! Jeg har kapret en liten brøkdel av internettet og satser på at ingen leser tankene min.

However I degress. Hvorfor føler vi et så enormt behov til å bruke penger? Er det søken om å bli godkjent? Jeg blir kvalm når jeg tenker på retningen verden har tatt, der penger er alt. Selve valentines day handler jo om å kjøpe gaver til din lille elsklig. BLÆH jeg takler det ikke. Hvis dere elsker hverandre burde ikke penger og gaver ha noe å si. Hvis jeg noen gang finner en tulling som er dum nok til å elske meg ( gotta catch'em off guard) og han kjøper en gave på valentines day, kommer jeg til å shove it where the sun don't shine. if you catch my drift.

Valentines day er et godt eksempel på mennesket tvangsforestillinger angående kjærlighet, all er er så sinnsykt redd for ikke å være elsket at mange ser seg nødt til å vise verden at noen eier de. Ja, eier. Hun sier kanskje,
- Hei, jeg fikk nettopp verdens største diamantkjede av KJÆRSTEN.
men det hun mener er,
-Hei taper jeg ser ingen elsker deg, jeg derimot har en idiot som kjærste som føler seg så lite trygg på forholdet vårt at han føler seg nødt til å betale meg.

Jeg tror at dersom det man bruker tiden sin på er å kreve kjærlighet kommer man til å gå glipp av det beste med å livet. Samtidig som man ender opp med å bruke usakelig mye penger på diamanter. Jeg ser ikke poenget med påminnelsen om kjærlighet, det er dessuten spontane handlinger som er best.

Panic on the streets of... Oslo

2010-12-15T23:41:00.000-08:00

Jeg glemte å levere eksamen!
Jeg gjorde meg ferdig, sto opp og gikk, med ikke så mye som en blyant i hånden. Jeg GIKK! Jeg kan ikke tro at jeg gikk. Etter alt de arbeid, hvordan kan jeg finne på å gå uten å forsikre meg om at jeg får en karakter i faget! Jeg husker ikke om jeg ble ferdig med oppgavene 11 engang. The horror, THE HORROR!

Jeg var utrolig stresset idag på grunn av det, helt panisk. Tilslutt gikk det opp for meg at jeg ikke har hatt eksamen enda. Takk skal du faen meg ha.

Det er ikke nok med å stresse når jeg er våken jeg må tydeligvis gjennom a world of pain, mens jeg sover også. Jeg var idet minste ikke naken... Har du noen gang hadde den klassiske drømmen som alle ungdommer på tv har rett før de skal holde et foredrag? Nei, ikke jeg heller, men aldri si aldri. Jeg savner de gode gamle drømmene jeg hadde da jeg var yngre. Det var ren-through-the-looking-glass-one-way-ticket-to-arkham-crazy-as-a-baby's-bum-insane, akk ja.

Det er en enorm lettelse å vite at jeg drømte, eller er det dette som er drømmen. Atter et dårlig besøk til drømmeland, hvis ikke dette forbedre seg snart kommer Mr. Sandman til å miste mer enn litt sand, det er sikkert å vist. Ridikulus! Sitte på datamaskinen og skrive et innlegg om hvor dårlig det gikk på eksamen. I want my money back. The matrix can really mess with you.

Jaja, bare en dag igjen! I'm as giddy as a chinese schoolgirl.

Post. Scriptum.
Jeg har oppdaget at sterinlys varmer bedre enn panelovnen som følger med hyblen. This could only mean one thing. SiO. Hates. Students. Jeg går tilbake til fosterstillingen.

Lick My Battery!

2010-12-12T13:03:00.000-08:00

Kjemi. Eksamen. Fredag. Må. Lese. Orker. Ikke. Tenke. Mer. Vil. Ha. Fri.

On a happier note er jeg ferdig med matte eksamen. Det må være den enkleste eksamen jeg har hatt. Det er en utrolig følelse å kunne være så fornøyd med et fag. Greit nok har jeg fått gode karakter i matte før, men aldri har en eksamen vært så enkel at jeg ble ferdig innen den første timen. Jeg ble faktisk bekymret, jeg er jo ikke akkurat den skarpeste sjeen i skuffen.. Høhø. Jeg har så godt som alltid måtte sittet helt ut og knote med en eller annen oppgave. Who would have thunk!

Jeg får vel dytte hodet ned i kjemiboken igjen. Må jo benytte meg av sjansen nå som det ikke foregår sexual healing ved siden av meg. Jeg tror nemlig radar paret bor til høyre for sengen min, det er tross alt sement gulv over.

Nå ble jeg en smule av en smule av en murstein bekymret for at gulvet kom til å bryte sammen og knuse den siste livsgnisten ut av min skrøpelig kropp. Okei greit jeg ble ikke litt bekymret jeg ble veldig bekymret. Jeg er egentlig alltid veldig redd for at ting som er over meg vil løsne, you name it, falle og drepe meg. Rett på sak, six feet under, pushing up daisies, talking to the man on the other side of the telephone line.. Åh vent det blir litt vanskelig når man er knust og ligger under en sementblokk. Ikke snakke til meg om køyesenger engang, et knirk og jeg ber til gud om å få overleve natten. Jeg har ligget våken mang en natt på grunn av hyllene over sangen min, og med hyller mener jeg et skap på langs, ikke Miss. Baywatch, der snakker vi death by suffocation. Det er omtrent det eneste positive med å ha flyttet vekk fra barnerommet mitt. Akk ja... Sove på gulvet er ikke et godt alternativ heller med tanke på taklampen og strøm og gips og maling og loftet, herre min hatt loftet! Det er et mirakel jeg har overlevd i det hele tatt.

Har jeg forresten fortalt deg om kulen jeg fikk idag? You see one time at band camp... Det var vel mer på kjøkkenet, noen.. jeg nevner ikke navn hadde latt skapdøren over benken stå åpen så da jeg reiste meg stanget jeg hodet rett inn i faenskapen. Det er noe med skapdører og hodet mitt. Jeg tror de prøver å ta knekken på meg. Det første jeg tenkte, etter synet kom tilbake og tweety fløy sin vei, var: Hvis jeg har hjernrystelse slipper jeg å lese. Dessverre var det ikke så alvorlig.

Kringsjå is my Waterloo

2010-12-02T08:58:00.000-08:00

I går kveld drømte jeg at rommie mente jeg var bitchy, siden jeg ikke kjøpte såpe. Så begynte plutselig kjærsten henne å gi meg frekke franske blikk. Han var nemlig fransk. Jeg vet egentlig ikke om hun har kjærste. Uansett jeg tok det som et tegn og kjøpte såpe.

Ja! Jeg har kapitulert, damn fear of people not liking me...

Selv om det var et nederlag for Team Merete var det ikke helt ubrukelig. Det åpnet for en hysterisk samtale, om duracellparet ovenfor. Selve tanken får meg til å ville ligge i fosterstilling. De har tydeligvis vært her siden før min tid. De er som en antibiotikaresistent bakterie kolloni.

Dogs barking at traffic lights

2010-12-01T13:06:00.000-08:00

Det er utrolig deilig å være ferdig med biologi eksamen, jeg brydde meg forsåvidt rent lite, iforhold til stresset jeg vanligvis opplever. tolk det som du vil.
To eksamener igjen og jeg gleder meg som en jomfru på bordell til juleferien. Det er kanskje et par ord der som ikke burde være i samme setning, men jeg føler meg litt... rebel without a cause.

Vi avbryter dette innlegget med en ekstrairritasjonssending, som forsåvidt har en kobling jeg ikke orker å forklare.
Det irriterer meg at platekompaniet ikke selger cd. Enten så har de ikke albumet eller så selges den kun som mp3.
Det irriterer meg at t-banen bryter får nervesammenbrudd annenhver dag ved stortinget. WAKE UP! This is Norway, it's gonna get cold.
Aller mest irriterer jeg meg over at rommie fremdeles ikke har kjøpt håndsåpe. Det er henne tur, skjønner du. jeg prøver å utføre en kladkrig i det stille. She wants to play hardball, I can play hardball. I bring out the rackets and we can go full on war. I am willing to sacrifies her sanity for that damn soap. Tactic numero uno is using the kitchen soap. My gloves are off and my hands are bubbling with relentless bubbles of pure loathing. I am that many shades of lame, and you can take that to the bank. Deposit and withdraw a large sum of asswooping if you don't believe me.

Jeg hadde så mye jeg ville si før jeg startet dette innlegget, men nå husker jeg det ikke lenger jeg ble blendet av et dypsindig hat ovenfor såpen, or lack there of. Dagen har vært slitsom på en fornuftig måte så jeg tror jeg skal gå leke litt med sengemidden.

slå meg en siste gang

2010-11-29T23:40:00.001-08:00

jeg innså nettopp at jeg har nyttet på hit me baby one more time, helt siden jeg sto opp.
nå er det bare to timer, men når de er fylt med døgnfluen bedre kjent som britney spears istedenfor en mer effektiv oppramsing av livesykulser til embryonphyta er det lett å gå apeshitcrazyupthewall. for du vet at når den sangen først har snekket seg inn går den ikke ut før den har ødelagt deg på en oppriktig måte.
sangen er fengende, det er forsåvidt det som er problemet og jeg har ikke noe personig imot frøken spears,men jeg liker ikke den sangen. i det hele tatt.
og hvorfor vil hun bli slått hele tiden? den sangen har ingen mening!

jeg hørte forsåvidt en litt annerledes versjon av denen sangen og selv om den er litt slem må jeg si det strakk på smilebåndet, men den for vi heller ta muntlig.
apropos versjoner, så liker jeg travis sin version av sangen, selv om cover versjoner av hit me baby kun er bra på grunn av orginalen.

ÆH! nå må jeg tilbake til livsykluser.

Her er forsåvidt er lite postmodernistisk tolkning av hjernen min, som viser hvordan onsdagen kommer til å gå. Ja, det har lagd i paint. Alle bruker photoshop og avansert programmer, men jeg holder meg trofast til kjære paint. Fordi. Jeg vet at med årene så vil photoshop bli erstattet av noe bedre, men paint vil alltid være der.

Jeg føler den den gråsirklen med kunnskap ble litt for stor, men det er lov å håpe at man for spørsmål om hvorfor catcher in the rye er så essensiell eller forklar bakgrunnen til foreldrene til David Bowie.

de burde lært oss latinsk på barneskolen...

2010-11-29T04:23:00.000-08:00

jeg er stressa.
når jeg er stressa, drikker jeg te.
nå er jeg kvalm.
jeg er stressa og jeg er kvalm.
og jeg klarer ikke huske de fordømte trærne!

Dyreriket- metazoa, stammer fra en ancestral encellet choanoflagell.
så ble det utviklet flercellede orgamismer ( mulighet for spesialisert vev)
Parazoa:
- Porifera- svampene er de enkleste dyrene og skaffer næring ved å filtrer vannet som går gjennom porer, ostium, inn i spongocoel, chanoflageller festet langs veggen filterer, og amoebocyter i mesohyl absorberer og distruberer næringen. vannet går så ut osculum.

Eumetazoa, spesialisert vev:
Radiata:
- Cnidaria/ Ctenophoria: maneter/comb jellyfish.
Cnidaria veklser mellom to generasjoner, polyp og medusa. polyp er nonmotile (sessil) mens medua er fritt-svømmende.
Har stinging cells, nematoder i cnidocyter som skytes ut dersom de blir trigget mekanisk eller kjemisk.
Ctenophoria, har gjennomgående tarm, der anus ble dannet ved en sekundær åpning. har bioluminesence

Bilateria: to sidet organisme, har en topp(dorsal)/bunn, høyre/venstre og foran(anterior)/bak(ventrial).
deles videre inn i protesome og deuterosome.

Protesome: spiral cleavage, blastpore omdannes til munn, celler defineres på et tidlig stadium.
Lophotrochozoa:
-Platyhelminthes, flatorm: psuedocoelom. Gassutvekling: diffusjon, må derforvære liten. Skaffer næring via pharyxn. protonefrider slutter i en flammecelle, brukes hovedsakelig for osmoseregulering, men er også viktig for utskilling. cerebral ganglia, lyssensitive organer.
- Rotifera, psuedocoelom. Har en ciliert krone, corona. muskulære pharynx kalt mastax, gjennomgående tarm. Pedal glands som utskiller et klebrig stoff, gjør det mulig for organismen å feste seg til overflater. protonefrider med flammeceller.
- Lophophorata: lophophor er en karakteristisk måte å skaffe næring på, vha cilijerte tentakler.

bryozoa
brachiopoda
phoronidia

- Mollusca: felles kjennetegn; muskulær fot (homolog, ikke morfologisk), visceral mass (der alle organen ligger), mantle (beskytter visceral mass) steker seg litt lenger enn visceral mass og danenr en mantle cavity der gjellene ligger.

polyplacophora
gastropoda
bivalvia
cephalopoda

- Annelida: det som er speielt men denne phyla er segmenteringen. segmentering muliggjør spesialisering av visse deler, altså vil ikek hevrt segment se helt likt ut. Dersom et organ i et segment ødelegges vil andre organer kune ta over. itillegg til at det hindre distortion ved den hydrostatiske beveglsen.

Ecdysozoa: denne gruppen har ecdysis, molting, altså skiller hudlaget deres ut kutikula, som beskyttelse, men det er ikek fleksibelt og vil da hindre vekst. Dette løses ved å felle hudlaget.

chelicerata, edderkoppdyr, 2 delt(cephalothorax+ adbomen). 6 vedheng: 4par bein 1 pedipalp, 1 cephalothorax) pedicel forbinner cephalothorax og abdomen. boklunge og eller trakeer.
myriapoda, millipedes (2par bein per segment) centipedes(1par bein per segment)
hexapoda, insektdyr: 3 del(hode, thorax abdomen) 3par bein, 2par vinge, kan være redusert som i veps eller borte som i flue, antennea. resp. via trakeer.
crustecea: 2 eller 3 delt(edderkoppdyr/insektdyr) diff. ved tynne deler av overflaten eller gjeller.

ecdysis utnyttes til generasjons vekling
ametabol: ingen forvandling, individet har tilnærmet lik kroppsfasong livet ut fra det klekkes
hemimetabol: ufullstendig forvandling. egg- nymfe- imago,vorksen.
holometabol: fullstendig forvandling. egge- larve- puppa- voksen.
fordeler ved larvestadie: har utlike nisjer og habitater enn det voksne individet, slipper konkurranse
ulemper: mindre beskyttet, forsvarsløs mot predator, samtidig som det må være gunstige forhold, næringsmessig for å utviklig puppe.

Deuterosome: radial cleavage, cellen deller seg i en parallell akse, blastopore= anus, munn dannes ved sekundær åpning. forsinket celledefferensiering.
- Echinoderms: spesielt water vascular system som grener seg ut i tynne tube føtter. vannet entrer madreporite går videre til ring kanalen, så til de fem radiale kanalene videre ut i tubefoten til små sekker, ampulla som lagrer vannet. ampulla er med på å skape bevegelse ved å skape en hydrolisk skjelett. når sekken presses samen stivner foten pga vanntrykket, muskelsammetrekninger vil så presse vannet tilbake til ampullaene. dette gjøre det mulig for orgamismen å bevegel seg selv om det går tregt. bruker også tubeføttene for å åpne bivalvia og sekreterer forføyelses enzymer utgjennom munnen.

Chorodata
4 hovedtrekk:

Notochord(ryggstreng)- blir til ryggsøyle
Dorsal nervestreng- blir til hjerne og ryggmarg
Pharyngeal slits- blir til gjeller(vann) eller øre liknende strukturer (land)
postanal hale- i vann hjelper det med bevegelse. på land kan den ha flere funksjoner, eller være tilbakedannet.

Craniates: den forreste delen av nervestrengen utvikles til en mer avansert hjerne som beskyttes av et kranium lagd av bein eller brusk, vanlig utvikling for cephalsering, der sanseorganer plasseres i framenden av den dorsale nervestrengen. neural crest, embryoniske celler på hver side av neural tuben som gir opphav til strukturer som er spesielle for chorodatene derav bein eller brusk i hodeskallen.

- Myxini, craniat men ikke vertebrat
Det dannes vertbral coloumn, rggsøyle, erstatter notochorden og beskytter nervestrengen.
Endoskjelett av bein/brusk
diversitet blant organer.
-Petromyzontida, lampreys. kjeveløs vertebrat. fester seg til bytte og sugger blod og vev.
dannes kjeve fra gild anchor 3 og 4, 1og 2 minstes. (Gnathostomes= jawed vertebrates)
- Chondrichthyes, bruskfisk: hai skates, rays. har ikke gjellelokk eller svømmeblære må derfor svømme konstant ellers vil den drukne. kraftig caudal fin= bakkerst skaper enorm fart, pelvic og pectral fins: kontroller retning og dybde, dorsal fin: stabilisator. flere rader med tenner, ikke festet til kjeven.

oviparous, legger egg i en beskyttet pouch, mermaids purse
ovoviparous, egget forblir i kroppen til hunnen, men får ikke næring
viviparous, inni hunnen, samt får egget næring fra placenta

dannes beinskjellet
- actinopterygii,
dannes lobe
- actinistia
dannes lunge
- dipnoi
dannes 4 lemmer
Tetrapod:
-Amfinbia fremdeles tilknyttes vann for reprod. og trenger fuktig miljø for diffusjon. 3 hjertekammer, må blande blodet pga diff.
dannes amniotiske egg. har 4 membraner, yolk sac(næring), amnion(beskytter embryo), allantois(avfall), chorion(gass diff sammen med allantios) har også et ytre skall som er permeable for gass men ikke vann. er ikke lenger avhengig vann for å reprodusere.
-Reptilia

fugler har utviklet evnen til å fly vha. fjære, redusert organer(en eggestokk=færre egg) porøse bein, 9 air sacs= lungene har konstant tilføærsel av luft, imotsetning til pattedyr som fyller og tømmer lungene sine)

dannes mamale glands- melk, hår
-Mamalia

kloakkdyr, ytreåpning for urinsystemmet, fordøyelsessystemet reproduksjon, legger egg

tre seperate åninger, begge føder levende unger

pungdyr,indre embryonalutvikling men avbrytes tidlig for så å bli ferdig utviklet i en ytre pung på utsiden av kroppen
placentaledyr, embryo har langvarig utvikling i placental

JA! Endelig husker jeg den jævlige Craniates rekka...
Så var det plantae.

Andre grønnalger
dannet klorofyll a og b, stivelse i plastider
Enkle charophycean
dannet plasmodesmata
komplekse charophycean
Bryophyta:
liverworts
spaltåpninger
Mosses
hornworts
ledningsvev
Frøløse planter med ledningesvev
lycophyta, dannet lycofyll
dannet eufyll
pteridophyta
dannet frøemne
gymniosperm
cycades
ginko
conifera
dannet fruktemne
angiosperm

Charophcean er i nær slekt med plantae,embryophytta på grunn av komplekseegenskaper relatert til reproduksjon, photosyntesen og andre karkaterister til planter som først ble dannet i charophycean. oppdaget vha å studere cpDNA.
selvom det å studerer cpDNA kan være litt vanskelig når det gjelder å definere slektskap, på grunn av horrisontal gen overføring

Åh det må være Jemaine Clemet som har innsett han elsker meg

2010-11-28T11:57:00.000-08:00

Blir du like glad som meg, hver gang du hører meldingslyden din?
Jeg syntes det er en veldig oppkvikkende lyd. Det bekrefter at noen tenker på deg og det er alltid like koselig. Det er itillegg litt morsomt å prøve å gjette hvem som har sendt meldingen.

Idag fikk jeg melding.
Det var reklame...

motiver meg for helvete

2010-11-26T15:30:00.000-08:00

siden herr.duracell holder på å ta en eller annen jente, la oss kalle henne mona, jeg trenger vil ikke forklare kallenavnet? hardt bakfra. ikke at jeg vet så mye om hva slags lyder de ulike stillingene lager. men, siden det ikke virker som toget har tenkt til å stanse anytime soon, kan jeg like godt blogge om beskymringene jeg har anngåenede eksamen. jeg har eksamen på onsdag det er fire lesedager til. jeg begynte ikke å lese pensum før tja to uker siden og har to kapittler igjen, jeg har ikke gjort kollokvie oppgavene og heller ikke sett på eksamensoppgavene de har lagt ut. jeg burde egentlig sitte på biblioteket og pugge for harde livet, men toppen av kranse kaka er selfølgelig at jeg ikke er motivert for den slags. riktignok har jeg sittet fra 8-18 med den djevel boken i hvertfall en uke, give or take noen pauser for mat og foreleninger. men ikke søren om jeg husker det jeg burde. og istedenfor å lese nå, så sitter jeg her på pc'en og skriver et ekstrem kjedelig innlegg. jeg mener hvem er det som vil lese om eksamenangsten til en jente som kommer til å stryke rett og slett fordi hun har nedprioritert faget så grenseløst iforhold til matte og kjemi.
jeg. er. en. idiot.
det er mulig at jeg har det for godt, for å kunne bry meg. litt av et luksussproblem. jeg har blitt vant til en viss standard sammen med foreldrene mine, men orker ikke jobbe hardt nok for å oppnå det selv. jeg var ikke sånn før. det latter. lig. at jeg ikke gidder jobbe like hardt nå som det faktisk gjelder. dette går ikke ann. jeg nekter å være en av de jentene. imorgen skal jeg lese de to siste kapitlene og gjøre alle kollokviene. det er jo bare 19 sett, det går... fint. et siste skippertak er alt jeg trenger, så etter kjemi og matte, som kommer til å ga til helvete, er det juleferie. for en plan egon.
jeg er egentlig veldig beskymret for matten, integrering og diff.likninger er fullstendig nytt for meg. jeg har tross alt kun hatt R1 og det var to år siden. eksamen om to uker og jeg skjønner fremdeles ikke fremgangsmåtene. heldigvis trenger jeg bare 20 poenge for å stå takket være en god midtterm, men nå vil jeg ikke bare stå jeg vil ha en A, elelr mer realistisk en B, minst en C. minst... jeg er helt sikker på at jeg mister hår på grunn av dette. jeg tror ikke universitetet vet hva de gjør med studenter. hver dag nå har jeg sett minst tre studenter som har sittet og hyperventilert på bane, mens de febrilsk prøver å huske pensum. første semester og jeg er klar for å melde meg inn i frelsesarmeen.
nestesemesterkommertilåblibedre. da kommer jeg til å lese hver dag, minst et kapittel hver dag. det er alltid neste gang. neste gang kommer jeg til å bli mer effektiv...

nyttårsforsett: jeg, merete, skal være en bedre venn, datter og student.

dette er nok det eneste som er verdt prøve på.

get your filthy finger out of my heart

2010-11-26T10:27:00.000-08:00

idag så jeg *insertnamehere*, en jeg gjerne vil bli bedre kjent med, gå av banen.
jeg ventet på å kunne ta linje3 hjem. han tok ringen forresten.
det var veldig kaldt.
han så meg ikke. det var kun et par centimeter av usikkerhet mellom oss.

dagens setning har forsåvidt vært "fudge it jeg er kald". det er akkurat den setningen som ga meg lov til å ha på meg to skjerf og vinterbukse.

... men tilbake til t-bane stoppet...
han har aldri vært mer tiltrekkende, i mine øyne, som de tre sekundene han brukte på å gå forbi meg, med matte bok i hånden, iført dresskåpe? ikke vet jeg hva det heter, men jeg fråtset i munnenviken.
nå vet jeg hvorfor visse filmscener går saktere enn andre. dette var selvfølge ikke romantisk eller i nærheten av "smooth sailing", men du skjønner hvor jeg har tenkt meg? livet mitt er vel mer en parodi av slike ting.

uansveitserland.
jeg var så glad han ikke så den innpakka sherpa'n bedre kjente som merete, håper jeg hvert fall. det er selvfølgelig ikke noen selvfølge at han legger like mye merke til meg som jeg gjør han. noe som har forsåvidt blitt bevisst sist vi møttes, men det går vi ikke inn på nå.

jeg ville så gjerne si hei, men innså, heldigvis, hvor klamt øyeblikk ville blitt og bestemte meg for ikke å ødelegge stunden. det er latterlig, men nå har jeg et nesten perfekt øyeblikk, en enkel mulighet som aldri ble brukt. det er nesten bedre å ikke vite. typisk jente. noen ganger skulle jeg ønske jeg var gutt.

det var noe av det rareste jeg har opplevd, litt av en opplevelse. jeg er ikke sikker på hvordan jeg best kan forklare senkundene. det var en veldig fin stund, med ren og skjær panikk.

det virker vel som jeg er knær over skuldre, hodestups forelsket, men det er jeg ikke. jeg kjenner han ikke godt nok for slikt. vi var kanskje litt vennlige på hytteturen. og da mener jeg venner som i koselig prat og hold meg for faen jeg er kald. ikke ja, du kan være faren til mine sju ufødte barn. men du vet det som skjer på hyttetur forblir på hyttetur. hvertfall de gode tingene. trist, men sant.

så det er ikke at jeg er forelsket og hundreprosent fjortis, jeg har bare begynt å verdsette visse øyeblikk. det er tross at de små trådene som holder de større brikkene på plass.
jaja
det gikk forresten opp for meg hvor tilfeldig livet egentlig er. tidligere har jeg ment livet hadde en plan, noen andre enn meg hadde kontrollen. jeg har tenkt på meg selv som en brikke i en større plan. mest fordi det er ekstremt deprimerende å tenk at livet er uten menig. før idag, ville jeg tenkt det var skjebnen eller en høyere makt som passet på at jeg så for eksempel *insertnamehere* eller en av de andre merkelig tingen jeg opplevde idag. jeg har vært så dum. det er på tide at jeg tar tak i problemet mitt, det blir for dumt. jeg bør virkelig bli mer realistisk når det kommer til... realiteten. jeg er virkelig altfor oppslukt i meg selv, men det er vel alle, ikke at det er en unnskyldning. så dypsindig du er merete... blablabarf

har du hørt på florence+themachine?
ikke?
nei jeg har ikke hørt så mye på de heller, eller jeg har det nå.
de er rimelig stilige, de er som en skrudd version av PJ Harvey, det er egentlig ganske søte sanger, selvfølgelig min definisjon av søt, er kanskje litt rar, men jeg antar du kjenner meg godt nok til å skjønne det.
jeg er vanligvis ikke så glad i kvinnelige sangere, eller forfattere eller kvinner generelt. jeg vet, det er noe jeg prøver å rette opp i. men hun har en rimelig sær stemme så jeg tror jeg begynner å falle litt for sangene henne.
skal finne ut hva hun heter jeg
siden du er så nysgjerrig
hun heter faktisk florence welsh
det var litt kult, la oss alle humre litt for oss selv.
jeg liker kiss with a fist, den er.. livlig
jeg har lyst på et sånt forhold
kysset av en neve
jeg vil heller ha et heftig og voldsomt forhold enn et langtekkelig og forsiktig ett.
jeg tror jeg ville druknet, dersom jeg måtte være forsiktig, skjønner du hva jeg tenker på?

jeg må få tak i det albumet, det er mange album jeg må fa tak i.

det er så mye dårlig musikk idag, jeg føler meg utilpass i denne verden. jeg skjønner ikke utviklingen, omtrent alle jeg snakker med hører på den populære musikk, men jeg syntes ikke det er god musikk. nå er det mange som mener jeg har dårlig smak og musikksmak er som religion, man skal ikke angripe noe så nært sjæl'a. men det er mye av det jeg ikke klarer å høre på.
musikken idag er noe av grunnen til at jeg ikke liker å dra ut på byen, hadde de spilt musikk som fikk likfoten til å vrikke på seg hadde det vært en annen sak. det er forsåvidt mange grunner jeg ikke liker å dra ut på byen. menneskene blant annet. jeg er ikke glad i mennesker, det er så vanskelig å føle seg vel sammen med mennesker man ikke kan stol på. jeg stoler ikke på at de mener det de sier. ikke at jeg vil merke alle med sprittusj men en anelse over hvem de er hadde vært hjelpsom. jeg takler ikke falske mennesker. ironisk at det er jeg som sier det.
men jeg har egentlig vært litt deprimert i år på grunn av det, jeg har ikke klart å feste meg til noen av de jeg studerer med og det føles som jeg mistet mykorrhizaen min.
jeg har blitt så usikker i det siste, mer enn vanlig. jeg trodde det ville forbedre seg med årene av seg selv, men jeg innser nå at det er venner som skaper sikkerheten. jeg føler meg så løst knyttet til denne verden. har du det sånn også?
jeg mangler trådene og sømmen rakner. men det går jo over. heldigvis.
det er kanskje ikke så lurt å skrive når man befinner seg i det melankolske hjørne av verden. det får nå bare være. noen ganger må man bare få tankene ut av hodet slik at men kan komme seg tilbake til likevekten.
jeg håper ikke jeg stryker på eksamen...
jeg merker hvor lite jeg har fått snakket ordentlig ut om ting idet siste, og fått en ordentlig respons. det er nok derfor jeg skriver så mye tull nå.

Super Creeps

2010-10-18T13:24:00.000-07:00

Da har det gått hele to uker siden sist jeg blogget og du vet hva det betyr. Akkurat jeg har bodd alene i 14 dager, give or take et par søndager gjemt i armkroken til ma mère. Heldigvis har jeg begynt å vende meg til eremitt-livet, der jeg istedenfor å ha en dype religiøs dedikasjonen, stikker snuten dypt inn i bøkene og sleiker til meg hvert ord. Nå, hvis jeg bare hadde klart å lagre det i minnet ville alt vært fryd og gammen.

Det har ikke skjedd så mye egentlig, jeg har prøvd å vaske vekk den rare lukten i hybelen min. Jeg nekter å gi opp, inntil jeg har overvunnet ondskapen! Annet enn å vanquish foul-smelling demons, leser jeg, sover litt og passer på at brødet jeg spiser ikke er muggent. Jeg har på følelse at muggent brød ikke er det samme som mugg ost, så jeg prøver å unngå en gjentagelse. Jeg var på RF-hyttetur i helgen, det var rimelig koselig. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. Say no more. Det var en ekstremt creepy tannlege stol nedi kjelleren. Den hytten ville passet perfekt for en skrekkfilm.

Jeg burde egentlig lese biologi akkurat nå, men jeg har ikke så veldig lyst til å lese om uekte dyr, det er forsåvidt ikke derfor jeg ville studere molekylær biologi og biologisk kjemi. Jeg skjønner at jeg må ha noe biologi det er underforstått, det er tross alt halvparten av studienavnet. Jeg har heller ikke noe problem med biologi, det eneste er at det ikke er noe nytt iforhold til pensumet på Bjørknes. Jeg hadde håpet det ville være mer relatert til den molekylære delen. Jeg vil begynne å studere det jeg har søkt meg inn på, men istedet virker det som jeg må pløye meg gjennom to år med matte, fysikk, biologi og generell kjemi før jeg kan begynne på den morsomme delen. Jeg håper virkelig grunnlaget er viktig og ikke minst brukbart. Jeg kommer til å bli rimelig hissig dersom jeg ikke får bruk for det videre. Jeg får prøve å lese et kapittel før jeg legger meg.

Sleep tight cyber space!

Dag 1

2010-10-04T10:01:00.000-07:00

Idag var en dag. Jeg føler meg helt apatisk til måten dagen har behandlet meg. Det har på ingen måter vært en god dag og jeg er glad den snart er over. Det eneste jeg har lyst til å gjøre, er å slenge dynga over hodet og falle inn i en dyp tornroseaktig dvale. Uheldigvis ville jeg neppe kommet i bedre humør dersom tungen til en mann i strømper bestemte seg for å erobre gjekslene mine, så jeg får heller nøye meg med nattero og håpe at sinnstilstanden er blitt hakket mer lystig ved daggry.

Det er utrolig deprimerende å bo alene.

Hill Billy

2010-09-08T11:48:00.000-07:00

Hei og hå!
Gjett hva jeg gjorde?
...

JA! Jeg plukket mais sammen med familien på Ringi Gård. You're getting really good at this whole guessing thing. Jeg følte meg ett med åker'n, en vaskeekte child of the corn. 64 kolber på 40 minutter er vel ikke verst. Selvplukket mais er alltid mye bedre enn rett fra boksen, etter en enorm diskusjon med en disgruntled employee.

Enda et fantastisk bilde mamma klarte å ta av meg.

In the strange and weird news today, I mean other then the completely spontaneous picking of corn. I recently meet Bill Bryson on campus. I have to say he was hilarious! I can't wait to read his book. You know the one he signed for me. Personally.

Bryson ble stilt spørsmålet "What do you want people to say about you, one-hundered years from now? Han svarte " And I can't believe he's still sexually active"

Skulle ønske han var foreleseren min.

Throw Open The Switches On The Sonic Oscillator

2010-09-04T12:04:00.000-07:00

Sist jeg prøvde å være en flittig liten blogger snakket jeg om hvordan Universitetet kom til å bli. Vel, det er nesten en måned siden og jeg føler jeg vet en smule mer om 'life on campus', selv om jeg bor en skorpe under en time fra Knowledge Centeral. Fingers crossed for hybel, vi får se om Voodoo dukken gjør nytta si med SiO personalet.

Det startet med fullt opplegg i Fadderuka, der jeg lærte selve definisjonen på å være student, og noen veldig nyttige snarveier igjennom Kjemisk. Takket være fadderuka var det ikke like vanskelig å starte på et helt nytt sted. Alt blir enklere når man har et lass med kjente ansikt og en hånd full av navn. Angående fagene er de rimelig grunnleggende, men det vil ikke si de er enkle. Det betyr bare at jeg burde ha fulgt med mer i timene på videregående og kanskje ikke tatt det "fri året".

Jeg husker at jeg var redd for å ikke like fagene, men jeg gleder meg til hver time, og det er rett og slett gøy å regne oppgaver vi får, spesielt i kjemi. Det beste er vel at ingen ser rart på deg for å like faget. For eksempel sa jeg, på full alvor, at den matte oppgaven var skikkelig gøy, og ble svar tilbake med: Ja, jeg vet! Trodde aldri det skulle skje. Matematikk forelseren min er en parodi av seg selv, kjemi forelseren er utrolig begavet og de tre foreleserne i biologi virker veldig lovende. Har du lagt merke til at forelesere aldri klarer å svare på spørsmålet ditt. Isteden går han heller rundt grøten i fem minutter, ser på deg som om du er en idiot for så å vente på at du setter igang en slags kroniske nikken, før han fortsetter timen? Det. Har. Jeg.

Jeg har meldt meg inn i fagstyret i Realistforeningen, og er blitt salgsansvarlig i fagutvalget, med andre ord fikk jeg ikke det vervet jeg ønsket meg. Fagstyret har hatt et møte og alle virker veldig hyggelige, jeg møtte tilogmed en av lederne mine fra konfirmasjonsleir, så det var jo helt random. Det eneste negative er at jeg måtte stå opp 5.50 forrige torsdag fordi jeg skulle steke bacon kl.7.30 nede i RF-kjellern. REAL-frokost er blitt min erkefiende, men jeg skal ikke klage det var en morsom og smertefull opplevelse, som skal gjentas 4 ganger hvert semester. Kan jeg hulke litt uten at du ser ned på meg?

Jeg er klar over at dette ble et rimelig tørt innlegg, men det er det som er i tankene for tiden. Studier, Deg, og akkurat nå var det en lynglimt av RHPS. Jeg har sunget de sangen siden torsdag, det er en i fagstyret som er like forelsket i Rocky Horror som jeg er, kanskje mer for den saks skyld. Det er alltid gøy å møte noe som har sett den filmen. Vi burde ha en rocky horror kveld, hvor vi kler oss ut og setter på audience partic - i - pation. Det hadde vært helt ekstremt! Jeg må nesten innrømme at jeg syntes fremdeles universitetet er en smule sketchy, jeg begynner å savne ungdomskolen, good times.

Neste innlegg håper jeg blir hakket mer underholdende. Tenkte jeg skulle legge ut noen bilder fra turen til Trysil, og kanskje et bilde fra A-ha konserten, mest fordi jeg sto rett foran scenen.

Er det bare meg, eller minner dette om Ringens Herre.

Jeg bli en smule forelsket i Paul Savoy

Det var min aller første A-ha konsert, så jeg har forsåvidt ikke noe å sammenligne synspunktet mitt med. For eksempel kan jeg ikke si at de var bedre enn da de var på Spektrum. Allikevel syntes det hele var veldig imponerende, sett bort ifra det ene oppvarmingsbandet, som neppe kan kalles for en sukksess. Konserten startet med "The Sun Always Shines On TV" og man kan trygt si det bare ble bedre og bedre.

Det overasket meg at jeg kunne synge med på omtrent alle sangen, det ante meg ikke at jeg hadde hørt så mange av sangene deres. Harket hadde litt problemer med den nye sangen deres "Butterfly, Butterfly (the last Hurrah)", der han glemte litt av teksten, men han hentet seg fort inn igjen. Det var mer morsomt enn annet.

De fikk tilogmed hele Ullevål stadion, ca. 28000 mennesker til å synge refrenget ''Hunting High and Low''. En rimelig flott opplevelse. Det er noe spesielt med konserter, man føler seg mye nærmere hverandre. Ikke bare fordi man står skulder mot skulder men det virker som man er en enhet. Det oppstår en slags connectivness. Spesielt etter at det gjentok seg på "The Living Daylights", selv etter A-ha hadde forlatt scenen fortsatte publikum å synge "We Live In Chaos" helt til Morten, Paul og Magne kom løpende tilbake på scenen og avsluttet det hele med klassikeren "Take On Me". Jeg syntes det var en helt utrolig opplevelse, selv om jeg ikke har vært verdens største fan, ble jeg det den kvelden. De hele var veldig rørende og jeg skal innrømme jeg felte noen tårer da de spilte på de akustiske sangene. Det var en vakker måte å si farvel på.

En flott konsert! God musikk, fantastisk scene show og et entusiastisk publikum, hun ene dama ved siden av meg var helt psykopat.

Sitat Morten Harket: "Nå er ikke jeg noen A-ha ekspert..."

My Hair Keeps Falling Out.

2010-07-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

Det er lenge siden sist, så nå er det sannelig på tide å gi litt livstegn fra seg igjen. Sommerferien har vært typisk norsk, rimelig grå. Det er sånn som trønderne sier, "Hadde jeg visst dette var sommeren ville jeg ikke gått på do".

Jeg kom nettopp på at jeg har kommet inn på et studie, der jeg ikke vet noe om relaterte yrker. Er ikke det spennende? De to mest innlysende yrkene er forskning og lærer, kanskje en fin blanding av de to. Takk gåsa, det fins yrkesmesser. Kort oppsummert vil det si at jeg kommer til å studere Molekylær Biologi og Biologisk Kjemi, ved universitetet i Oslo til høsten.

Fingrene min kribler etter å bla gjennom utallige bøker fylt med kunnskap. Forhåpentligvis vil ikke dette endre seg etter den første måneden. Vanligvis starter man, ihvertfall jeg, det nye skoleåret så full av energi og iver at selv duracell blir sjalu. Uheldigvis, etterhvert som dagene snegler avgårde og lærerne siler spenningen ut av faget, begynner energien sakte å ebbe ut av kroppen. Denne gangen håper jeg historien ikke vil gjenta seg.

Jeg har svært mange forventninger og omtrent alle er fullstendig urealistiske. Livet mitt kommer nok ikke til å endre seg på en dramatisk og spennende måte bare fordi jeg begynner å studere, hvis ikke en av professorene mine eller en medstudent er en vampyr fra 1800-tallet og blir hodestups forelsket i meg. Overgangen fra elev til student vil sannsynligvis gå rolig for seg, men så har jeg aldri vært spesielt begavet i sannsynlighetsregning så hva vet nå jeg? Uansett, håper jeg at en av mine hundre forventninger skråstrek ønsker vil gå i oppfyllelse. Jeg håper jeg vil trives. Jeg håper at studiet jeg har valgt passer hjerte mitt, slik at jeg slipper å bruke tre års av livet mitt for så å finne ut at jeg egentlig brenner for astronomi, istedenfor biologi. At jeg får ivrige og dyktige professorer. At jeg trives sammen med de andre studenten. At jeg kommer til å klare det.

Jeg. Håper. Jeg. Vil. Trives.

Spit In My Face.

2010-07-02T05:50:00.001-07:00

You know those big-ass purses, and how things just seem to vanish the second they have been placed into one of these big-ass purses? Well today my big-ass purse, that really isn't that big,went completely Mary Popins, and not in a magical oh-this-is-great-now-I-can-carry-around-loads-of-enormous-useless-stuff-like-furniture-in-my-bag kind of way. It was more of an annoying discover, I figure Columbus must have felt the same way when he completely failed in his task in finding India and instead discovered an already found country. You see I discovered to major holes in the inner lining of my purse, we're talking hidden compartment within a hidden compartment. The hidden contents contained: 5 pairs of eye lenses, 2 lip glosses, 3 pens, 2 eye drop bottles, and 6 packs of gum. All of which I've been frantically searching for.

Are. You. Kidding. Me.

Sucking The Blood Right Out Of Me.

2010-07-01T12:52:00.001-07:00

Okay so I decided not to write about Twilight awhile back, mostly because it would be a very hateful rant. I figured there was little point in discussing my disdain, and I did not wish to be a platform for its promotion, not that the series would need it, or that my sentences would make a difference. So I choose not to write about the unoriginal plot, where-girl-falls-head-over-heels-for-dangerous-and-slightly-wounded-boy, the lack of character development, themes, and motifs, and not to mention the infantile grammar. To this day the word "smouldering" gives me the gebbies. Granted Meyers deserves some credit for creating such a sucsessfull money-wagon, but her skills as a writer are lacking. The part that really twists my knickers is that her fictitious world is filled to the brim with pink-fluffy so-called "vampires" who glitter in the light. Which is also a reason for why I did not wish to discuss the book, since I would feel the need to compare it to real vampire literature, such as Bram Stoker's Dracula and Anna Rice's vampiric realm. I was not going to mention any of this. However it is fair to say that my cup runneth over after scanning a newspaper article my mother was about to through away.

The article was basically a how to guide on becoming Bella or a seriously lame vampire. promoting vampire lip gloss, vampire wine, a cookbook that consists of all the dishes Bella makes, and even referrers to a website dedicated to quote unquote "twilight stuff", the words"sleep like Bella" made my soul want to shrivel up and die.

Now I understand that people are different, and I am not saying there is anything wrong with those who like twilight, I am just saying their brain has some faulty wiring, and that they should look into it. No, but Seriously. Granted it's a little sad that people think vampires are like the Cullens, but if it makes you happy I am certainly not going to take it away from you. I just think the healthy interest has turned into more of a blind worship and devotion, where the fanaticism has become worrisome. Now I've never understood this kind of behaviour, which might be why I do not understand the twilight phenomenon. I understand the need to "need", or wanting to lose yourself in an other story because it's more interesting that your story. I understand all the whys to a fixation. Believe me I do.

The thing that strikes me as weird is going to such great lengths in bringing your own fantasies to life. (In my experience when fantasies become spoken words reality always comes crashing down) I realize I can only speak for myself. All the same for me fantasies and thoughts are private and personal. My fingers just went a little numb after typing that sentence. I guess it betrays me into some-what of a bigot. So to clarify I feel their are several different kinds of thoughts. Some are "innocent", and easily shared, blog-worthy), some are strange, and some are so personal you, at least I, can not share them without difficulty because they render you completely naked, stripping you down to the core of raw emotions. It is here my deepest thoughts lies beside my obsession, and that is why I would not want the corporate commercialism to taint my pure compulsion. Since on some days that little escape is all one has, and what escape would it be, if it was destroyed by consumerism?

Give Me Your Heart And I'll Love You Till Tuesday.

2010-06-30T12:06:00.000-07:00

This is how I picture, summer vacation:

A capital Fffin' awesome haze!

I am so excited about finally leaving this boring place, where I have so much fugging responsibility, and spend a week at our cottage with my bestest friend, and only reader. It feels like I've been awake for three days straight on nothing other than red bull, although I've never actually tasted it, and coffee. My body's an earthquake of anticipation.

I can't wait to get lost in all the fun we'll have. All the insanity. You know I almost left last weekend. my thoughts: "I'm just-gonna-leave-now-and-to-hades-with-my-job-and-priorities-I-won't-even-pack-because-I-want-to-leave-this-instant” Then I realized I would be alone and alone crazy just isn't easy to explain, while as we're-two-girl-having-a-laugh. Is not only a get out of jail free card, but it is also a lot more fun. So damn it I waited for you to return, and now we're leaving.

I've had it up to here with responsibility and priorities. In just a simple week I've had a MAJOR life altering break though, packaged with several epiphanies, which could have really made my life extremely easier "growing up". I figure since I haven't grown any taller in at least a year, I am all grown up, and even though researcher say the brain is fully evolved between the ages 19- 20 years. I am guessing they mean human years and not ape years or donkey years or I-don't-give-a-rats-ass years. Since I am going with human years I am either finished or I will be in 1.5 months, or 47 days to be exact, not that I'm counting. I basically just pimped the numbers into my slut-calculator. Yeah, you could say I keep my pimp hand strong, and you'd be correct in that assumption, I just noticed assumption, said really fast sounds like "ass hump". I'm just pointing out the small subliminal messages of the English language. No wonder I thought my English teacher wanted me, not in a "I want you to deliver your pagers on time", but in a wantingly wanting need for me to just deliver.

So, I'm done growing physically, just not mentally. I don't really think that part ever stops. Now, I could sit here and debate whether or not it stops near the end of ones life, but that's just too flippin' depressing. Besides the body starts deteriorating the second there's something to break down.

Mmm. Long rant huh? Want a summary?

Summary:
I'aint gon' grow no mo'
I had me sum' breakthou's

See you on the flipside!

Glittertits

2010-05-27T11:45:00.001-07:00

Gather around little children, it's time to play a little game. Well, it's not that little.

Endelig ble jeg ferdig med eksamene mine og du vet hva det betyr? You guessed it freedom, more specific work. I know what you're thinking, "Oh, poor moron, don't you see you're trading one hell for another?"
What? You weren't thinking that? Well, screw you. I'm still psychic, and my name's Merete! and at least this hell pays, granted not as much as you mom, but more than studying does.

Aside from that not much has happened, so as usual not much has changed.
Oh, I was going through some random pictures, that were randomly lying around in a randomly random position, and I thought "Hey, I should take a look, maybe there a pretty picture of a pretty bird there" Need I say more there were several. You see I just happened to stumble over proof that somebody is stalking me. Yes, you heard me I have proof. Nobody believed me. You all thought I was insane but HA! Here is the damn proof. So you can all kiss. My. Pimply. Ass!

I was in such a shock it's wasn't 'till I was washing of the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead... Wait that didn't happen to me. Seriously though it's a little freaky, slightly perverse and highly satisfying.

Everyone should have a stalker it really does boost your confidance, while at the same time forces you to be cautious, and just a little parinoid.

Catch yah on the flipside!

Emailing Myself & Replying

2010-04-16T10:38:00.001-07:00

I wrote this the day before last.

So here is the problem I'm faced with today. No, it is not tying my shoelaces. I'm not completely incompetent. I have people for that. My problem is two ladies, and I'm the only man. That's not really a problem is it, and sadly not my problem slash... fun?
My problem is I feel like bitching, because I'm so fraking tired.
Bitching numero uno: My eyes are sore from lack of sleep.

...What. You were expecting more complaining? Well, Kathinka so was I. Then I realized I was about eight stories tall and a crustacean from the protozoic era. Well not exactly. I'm a 2.26 feet homosapien. Although I guess heterosapian would more accurately describe the human race. Simply because homo equals “the same” and hetro is the equivalent of “different”. Now I have yet to see two 100% identical individuals both mentally and physically. I mean not even conjoined slash Siamese twins are exactly the same. However! Since we are but mammals doing as they do on the discovery channel, I don't really care. Where was I? Ah! From the cenozoic era (that took forever to find, but now you know were we are on the geological timeline).

It was about that time that I realized I was a 2.26 feet homosapien from the cenozoic era, that a beam of light hit my naked eyeball and momentarily singed my retina. Yes, I was not wearing any form of protectional eye device thingamajiggy. Fortunately this was only temporary. Thanks for you concern.

So you see my temporary blindness obliterated ever shred of complaint. And instead set my brainwaves, or lack there of, in a completely new direction, or just continued flat lining but with more intensity. Because this could only mean one of three things.
1. My death ray is still faulty and bitching will not make it lethal.
2. The cylons are here.
3. A giant star has awakened from it's deep slumber and decided to slap me across my face.

I think it's the latter. Which if you translate from Geek to English you end up with: “YAY sun!”

My Addiction

2010-04-05T04:51:00.000-07:00

It's always the same. Minutes become hours. Morning turns to night, and before I can say ''twins'' I've stayed awake three days straight. Days just seem to melt together.

Honestly who would give up the chance to play God? I decide who lives and who dies. I control their every move. Atleast until their bloody emotions get in the way. Damn free will! But seriously I do have a tendency of losing myself in games. I recently started playing sims agian after a long needed break, and I haven't been able to stop. There's so much to do, and there aren't any frakin' loading screens. My Gods how I hated those frakin' loading screens. The only problem is my sims 3 version (store bought) has a major glitch and blue screens ever so often. Also I keep getting twins. What is up with that?! This is my story. An epic tale of my addiction to Sims.

I made a much cooler sim version of myself, and added a stud who would shut up and do as he's told. Gotta keep them men in there place, can't be givin' them no false hope. Anyway I named them Kara and Icarus. Believe it or not they hit it off right away, and after some avatar love scenes, Kara became a journalist and Icarus completed his lifetime ambitions of joining the police force. It didn't take long before offers came rolling in, and after reaching the top of his career Icarus decided he had seen enough action, and took an early retirement. Instead wanting to help Kara with her gardening. Kara, now owning half of the city, decided to take a break from the stressful life of business, choosing to focus on her dream of becoming a famous best selling author. However after a romantic evening, two bottles of wine and some serious role-playing. Kara became ill, she was indeed with child.

Icarus tried to help her out as much as he could even reading that damn pregnancy book. However unlike Icarus, Kara wasn't fond of being a frakin' baby machine, and decided not to think about the little monster growing inside her. Almost fearing the birth. When it was time to get to the hospital, she had to drive herself, since her good for nothing husband was too scared to even be in the same room as her. Icarus was obviously more potent then your average Joe and they ended up with twins. Two beautiful girls, named Leia ,and Domino. Money being tight Icarus decided to step up and re-enter the workplace, accepting a top secret position at the science laboratory. Kara finally having hit it big with her last book “The Return of the Bunny”, made a life altering decision to change genre from sci-fi to fantasy, after her publicist told her there was more money to be made and a much larger audience. Ah the sacrifices one makes to ensure a good life for ones brats.

Icarus was invited to an after work dinner party. Which would have been a friendly affair had it not been for some guy called Cycl0n3, one of Kara's colleague. Icarus being the hothead he is decided to give him a piece of his mind. What kind of a name is Cycl0n3 anyway, and the bastard was getting a little too friendly with his woman! Oddly enough Mr. 'I have a loft filled with bimbos' didn't take to well to Icarus calling his mom a llama, and then slapping him is a manly fashion. Of course Cyl0n3 won the fight with some cheap shots, but not before Icarus had declared him his nemesis. Luckily Icarus still has some questionable contracts from his old days as an undercover agent. Needless to say Mr. Cyl0n3 mysteriously disappeared after a fishing trip in the mountains. He didn't stand a chance.

Bundle of joy my ars, more like Satan's little helpers. Both the girl were a wad of energy, and loved waking in the middle of the night. Since Icarus was often “away at work” helping his boss with important “research”, Kara spends more time with the girls then he did, at least when the moon was out. Ever so often Icarus would take the girls out, to the park, so to spend some quality time. Of course one time the incompetent fool set Domino down on the grass and went home. And of course the neighbours went haywire when she began to cry. So as usual Kara had to clean up his mess and talk to the outraged neighbours.

It was clear from the very beginning that Domino was more logical then Leia and learned to walk and talk before her 1 minute older sister, who instead wanted to play with Bill the Bear. A toy Icarus had found in the trash, as he was gathering information on the neighbourhood hoodlum Joe. The girls grew up quickly as children often do. Much to their parents amazement. It didn't take long before they were both getting straight A's in school. On they're sixteenth birthday however the two twins developed different personalities, Leia taking after her mother started writing and became more interested in boys, much to Icarus' dismay. While as Domino seemingly keeping a her focus on her studies, began to sneak out after curfew so she could live out her secret desire of becoming a professional musician.

I should probably stop playing, but I just can't.

Drinking Tea Out Of A Straw

2010-03-11T06:25:00.000-08:00

"Once upon a time there was a woman named Abigail, who was in love with a man named Gregory. Gregory lived on the shore of a river. Abigail lived on the opposite shore of the river. The river that separated the two lovers was teeming with man-eating alligators. Abigail wanted to cross the river to be with Gregory. Unfortunately, the bridge was washed out. So, she went to ask Sinbad, a river boat captain, to take her across. He said he would be glad to if she would consent to go to bed with him preceding the voyage. She promptly refused and went to a friend named Ivan to explain her plight. Ivan did not want to be involved at all in the situation. Abigail felt her only alternative was to accept Sinbad's terms. Sinbad fulfilled his promise to Abigail and delivered her into the arms of Gregory.

When she told Gregory about her amorous escapade in order to cross the river, Gregory cast her aside with disdain. Heartsick and dejected, Abigail turned to Sluggo with her tale of woe. Sluggo, feeling compassion for Abigail, sought out Gregory and beat him brutally. Abigail was overjoyed at the sight of Gregory getting his due. As the sun sets on the horizon, we hear Abigail laughing at Gregory."

I found this little story when I was searching for information about genetic mutations. Of course this only proves my lack of concentration. Anyfloor, it's originally an assignment, where the answer is supposed to say something about you moral compass. You read the text, them rate the five character on a scale from one to five one being the character you liked the least. I believe we did something similar in middle school, where five people were trapped in a cave with only one way out and water rushing in to seal their doom. In short you play god and decide in which order they get out. Keeping in mind the last ones may drown. Of course every character had a twist, for instance the genius how would later on find a cure for cancer was also a child molester, and so on and so forth. Anyway back to the story at hand. I give you my rating, and I hope you leave yours in the comments.

Time to use that noggen!

Tricky tricky. It's actually quite difficult because it's all about situational morality. One person is doing what they think is right for their situation, when others may think their crazy. It's always hard to take a step back from your own live and instantly know your faults. I mentioned in previous post a lack of human empathy, in the analysis of catch in the rye, and I think text is yet another example. All five character are basically doing what they believe is the correct thing to do, without considering how their actions will effect others. There's a possibility I would do exactly the same, or I maybe not. You never really know until you've experiencing it first hand. Since I don't know anything other than this short version of the story. A story that lacks inner thoughts, emotions and desire. I'll be judging five people's decision based on gossip. I think, I'll speak for myself, I normally forget that's there are two side to a story. It's always easier to judge others than it is to judge yourself. So without further ado I give you the list.

I decided to do the list backwards, and also try to explain my reasoning.

5. Gregory: I liked Gregory the most because, he reacted in a way I most likely would. Keep in mind we don't even know if he and Abigail are in a relationship. The story is extremely vague, which is probably the point. I mean Abigail could be some lunatic stalker that looks at him through a telescope and has a room full of pictures. She could be insane. Or she could be the love of his life. I don't know. It doesn't really matter because, according to my sources, the television, cheating changes the relationship completely. So I understand his reaction. Although one could ask the question, if they were together, why didn't Gregory try to cross the river as well? Why was he just waiting for her? Was he an incompetent little man?

4. Sinbad: He simply made a request, maybe more a condition, for the favour Abigail wanted, and he held up his side of the bargain. Now he may have been a complete toolbag for requesting sex. Still he, like the rest of the world, was in a position of slight power and decided to take advantage of it. Abigail didn't have to agree but eventually did. I'm not really sure where to put Sinbad since he abused his "power" for the greater good of his loins, but still he didn't really do anything criminal, of course had he been her boss and the boat ride had been a promotion? Either way you see it he abused his position and that's not okay. He's a lowlife Plain and simple, and I don't care for him at all. Do you see how difficult this is? There are so many parallels. Compared to the others he's my nr.4 least likeable.

3. Ivan: He didn't need to get involved, so he stayed out of it. Very often people get involved in things they don't necessarily need to be a part of. So to some extend it's commendable. Although he could have solved the whole problem, if he had just cared enough to help, or was willing to take a risk. Also the story didn't give any specific details of Abigail's side of the island. For instance, we don't know if there are any materials for building a raft, just that she can't swim over. Apparently Ivan's her friend and even if he didn't want to get physically involved he should have been given her advise or tried to console her. He should done something. You never know, even the smallest of efforts could turn to be fruitful. It comes down to the fact that indifference is just as bad.

2. Sluggo: It's says that out of compassion for Abigail he goes and beats up Gregory. First of all how did he get over the river? Sid he sleep with Sinbad as well? Or did he know another route? Anyway he let his anger get the best of him and went all Armageddon on Gregory's ass, who really hadn't done anything wrong. For all we know Gregory didn't love her back, and there's nothing commendable about violence. Pain breeds pain, and it all turns into a vicious cycle. If he really cared for Abigail, he would have stayed by her side and helped her through it. It really is between Abigail and Gregory. Even though it's great that he cared, his actions were completely wrong. it takes a really evil person to find something like that endearing or even to think that beating somebody up is a nice gesture. Which only proved that Abigail is a horrible person. To laugh at somebody's pain. Are you kidding me? She is hands down my nr 1 least likeable.

1. Abigail: At the beginning of the story I empathized with her situation. However as the story progressed a growing disdain accumulated towards her. To me she seemed very calculating. I think she manipulated the situation in order to get some sort of revenge towards Gregory. I don't know. The main reason for my disliking her is of course the ending where she laughs at Gregory's pain. Also why did she go to Sluggo and not her friend Ivan for support, after Gregory had cast her aside? Maybe it was because Ivan didn't care in the first place, or she knew that Sluggo had these kinds of violent tendencies. That is why Abigail came in last... Or first on the least likeable scale.

There really are no right answers, they all did good and bad things. Do you agree? Do you disagree? Leave you're thoughts in the comments, and don't forget your list. I'm curious to know your own moral compass.

Catch you on the flip side!

Your sincerely,

Awkward llama.

My Short Shirt

2010-03-10T15:19:00.000-08:00

It is not an invitation
a provocation
an indication
that I want it
or give it
or that I hook.

My short skirt
is not begging for it
it does not want you
to rip it off me
or pull it down.

My short skirt
is not a legal reason
for raping me
although it has been before
it will not hold up
in the new court.

My short skirt, believe it or not
has nothing to do with you.

My short skirt
is about discovering
the power of my lower calves
about cool autumn air traveling
up my inner thighs
about allowing everything I see
or pass or feel to live inside.

My short skirt is not proof
that I am stupid
or undecided
or a malleable little girl.

My short skirt is my defiance
I will not let you make me afraid
My short skirt is not showing off
this is who I am
before you made me cover it
or tone it down.
Get used to it.

My short skirt is happiness
I can feel myself on the ground.
I am here. I am hot.

My short skirt is a liberation
flag in the women's army
I declare these streets, any streets
my vagina's country.

My short skirt
is turquoise water
with swimming colored fish
a summer festival
in the starry dark
a bird calling
a train arriving in a foreign town
my short skirt is a wild spin
a full breath
a tango dip
my short skirt is
initiation
appreciation
excitation.

But mainly my short skirt
and everything under it
is Mine.
Mine.
Mine.

Gratulerer med dagen jenter!
Better late than never. Right?

Monologen er hentet fra Eve Ensler sin "The Vagina Monologues

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more

2010-02-24T08:34:00.000-08:00

Okei så det ble ikke hjemmebleking, men etter en sjapp runde med telefon og internett fant jeg en rimelig frisør som ikke kom til å brenne av håret mitt.
Så da er det vel bare å si TADA!

Now that's preudy.

And this is my "I'm blond face".

Yeah I know. Awkward pictures. I just thought the "mom smile" would be too scary, and the "duck face" would get me killed.

You're So Pretty When You're Unfaithful To Me

2010-02-23T13:42:00.000-08:00

Det er full snøstorm her. Kanskje ikke sånn man normalt ser på film, der hovedkarakterene blir snødd inne sammen med en gal øksemorder, men fortsatt snøstorm. Hvis ikke væregudene snart får en varmere tone, burde jeg investere i et skjerf som kan surres rundt hele kroppen min. Kanskje jeg kan leie en fyr til å gå rundt med vindskjerm og radiator? Hvem vet. Det er utrolig hva mennesker gjør for en liten slant. Uansett. Jeg er redd jeg vil blåse bort i dette arktiske været, forhåpentligvis lander jeg i varmere trakter, som Australia eller New Zealand. Jeg nøyer meg med armkroken til Jermaine Clement. Realiteten er vel mer armkroken til Snøball og en kopp varm te.

Pleide noen av dere, jeg later som det er et flertall som leser, å si "... in the pants" eller "... in the face"? Sånn, "du er så dum!" også ville du svare "du er dum... in the pants", eller "... inn the face". Nei? Ikke jeg heller, men det er rimelig moro å føye til in the pants bak boktitler. "Where the wild things are"... in the pants, Brooklyn Follies in the pants, Oracle Nights in the pants. Gjør det sammen med bokhyllen din, og fortell meg om artighetene.

Sykt infall alert! Jeg fikk plutselig veldig lyst til å bleke håret.

Jeg gjør det imorgen. Jeg skal i det minste gjøre et tappert forsøk, man vet aldri hvordan det blir med hjemmebleking. Tenker det er like greit ettersom håret mitt er rimelig slitt. Jeg kan ikke huske sist gang jeg hadde et stevnemøte med saksen. Det var vel før sommeren. Uansett, jeg skal kjøpe blekemiddel imorgen, kanskje min kjære mor hjelper meg. Sånn nå har jeg skrevet det, nå må jeg gjennomføre. Før ville jeg aldri i livet gått blond, men nå som jeg ligner på Cousin It, tenker jeg "the hell with it".

Well, catch yah on the flipside!

P.S. Jeg har bestilt nye briller!!! Ja, de jeg viste deg. Jeg gleder meg noe helt enormt. De er lilla. Blunkblunk.

I Put On My Rob And Wizard Hat

2010-02-03T10:23:00.000-08:00

Dette er visstnok ganske gammelt, men det er nytt for meg. Jeg syntes det var så ekstremt morsomt at jeg måtte dele det med deg. Håper du ler like hardt og lenge som meg.

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

Still laughing I bet you are.

We'll play 'em fast and loose...

2010-02-01T12:53:00.001-08:00

This sunday was our last performance, which also means it was my final day on stage. Hopefully I'll get back to it later on, but for now I need to prioritize. So because I wrote a fairly long post earlier I'm all typed out. Although since I can't show you an impove dance I'll upload some pictures I took backstage and add some lyrics from Chigaco and Cabaret. You gotta love musicals. Wink!

Give 'em the old three ring circus

Stun and stagger 'em
When you're in trouble, go into your dance

Though you are stiffer than a girder
They'll let you get away with murder
Razzle dazzle 'em
And you've got a romance

Got a little motto
Always sees me through
When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to you.

What good is sitting alone in your room?
Come hear the music play.
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,
Come to the Cabaret.

Put down the knitting,
The book and the broom.
Time for a holiday.
Life is Cabaret, old chum,
Come to the Cabaret.

Doesn't even have an inkling
That I'm working in a Nightclub
In a pair of Lacy pants.
So please, sir.
If you run into my Mama,
Don't reveal my indiscretion,
Give a working girl a chance.

My Fine Feathered Friend

2010-01-31T01:52:00.000-08:00

'If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfeild kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.'

I don't know why, but I really like books that focus on the loss of innocence.

You could say I had a rough night so instead of not-not-sleeping, I decided to read “Catcher in the Rye” again, and as always the book did it's magic, and I felt a lot better. It's just one of those books that restores hope. Now, I'm probably not the only one who likes this book, but I am probably the last to hear about J.D Salinger's passing. Which really breaks my heart. Through the years I've grown quite attached to this book, every time something happens I read “Catcher in the Rye”, and things get better, and now the author is gone. It's weird, and unnerving but I guess that life.

You probably know the story: A year after every thing's happened, Holden sits down to tell the story of when he got kicked out of this fancy prep school, got in a fight with one of his friends, took a train to New York, where he asked a lot of weird questions about ducks, went to the hotel, had some drinks with some women at a bar, caught a cab, asked some more weird questions about ducks, went back to the hotel, met a woman who is defiantly a prostitute, after earlier meeting a woman who is maybe a prostitute, then didn't do anything with the prostitute, went to bed, woke up the next day, had breakfast with some nuns, and then I won't spoil the ending. Although I don't know exactly what about the book could be spoiled, I mean like spoiler! Life is hard, and sad.

Throughout the book Holden wonders why he keeps putting on and taking it off this red hunting cap. Poor Holden, you're putting it on because it's your protective shield. Now we could talk about that, or we could talk about how incredibly lonely he feels, like in the beginning of chapter 9, "The first thing I did when I got off at Penn Station, I went into this phone booth. I felt like giving somebody a buzz." So who does he call? Nobody! He has no one to call! It's the equivalent of opening up your cell phone scrolling through your contacts and realizing there is no one on that list who wants to talk to you. No matter who you are or what you do, that is a profound unjokes experience.

Then when he's on his way to the hotel he tries to talk to the cab driver about a question that's really important to his, "What happens to the ducks at the central park pond in winter?", and the cab driver won't even take him seriously. Then he call this girl who is probably most possibly a prostitute, and even she won't talk to him. I mean when you call a prostitute, and she won't talk to you, you're in dire straights. All he's trying to do in pretty much the whole book is talk to someone. So no wonder he needs that security blanket. No wonder he puts on the red hunting cap, after his teacher humiliates him, and only takes it off in situations where grown-ups would make fun of him for wearing it. I mean everyone who's hung on to a stuffed animal for too long, because it provides comfort, understands what the hunting cap feel like to Holden.

Also one more way for Holden to protect himself from the pain of the world, is that he says "you" when he means "I". Like, in chapter 11, when he's talking about holding hands with Jane, and he says, "You never even worried, with Jane, weather your hand was sweaty or not. All you knew was you were happy." Of course he doesn't mean you were happy. You weren't holding hands with Jane, but to put himself back in that situation is so painful, partly because he's remembering the feeling of intimacy with a person, which he no longer has with anyone, and partly because he's remembering that feeling of innocence, of playing checkers and holding hands. It's so painful to remember, that he can't say I. He has to take a step away from it, and say that it happened to you. It's so frakin' sad!

I think we can skip the women, the book is just a wee bit misogynistic, like when he talks about how once you get passed second base, girls lose their heads and can't control themselves. That's a little troubling.

So we could talk about the tension between innocence and experience, and how that red hunting cap, which is the same colour as his dead brother Allie's hair, is this kind of security blanket
for Holden that he holds onto. Or the ducks in the pond, and how nothing ever chances in the national history museum, which is what Holden likes about it so much. And that heartbreakingly sad moment at the end with the carousel, and the hat and Phoebe and everything. But actually now that I've reread the book I don't want to talk about any of that.

I want to talk about what I think is the real purpose of symbolism, and metaphor and all of the tricks that authors use to try to make you believe in stories in a deeper way. Peter Berger once wrote that "the difference between dogs and people, is that dogs know how to be dogs.", and it seems to me that one of the ways we come into this world not knowing how to be a person, is that we don't really know what to do about empathy. Like the weird thing about self-consciousness is that you become aware of the fact that you can never fully feel someone else's pain, and that someone else can never fully feel your pain. I mean the same goes for joy, but since we're talking about Holden we have to narrowly focus in on the pain.

Now that fact that empathy is a limited human talent is a good thing, because our brains are too small and too primitive to function if we're feeling everyone's pain, and everyone's joy, and everyone's excitement, and everyone's loneliness, and everyone's boredom all at the same time. The question is how do we get to a place where we can empathize with each other enough, to take care of each other enough, to get through this veil of tears. And this is where the fact that there are two Holdens in the story comes into play. There's the Holden this story is happening to and there's the Holden who's telling us about it. The Holden this story is happening to is almost a total failure at getting people to listen to him. Basically throughout the book he walks around, meets some people and tries to get them to listen to him, but they refuse. Then towards the end you think there's finally an adult who's actually finally going to listen to him, but then Holden wakes up to find the guy patting his head, and it's totally creepy and hugely sad. And if that's you're only Holden I have to say I don't see a lot of hope in this novel.

What I see in the Holden who the book is happening to is a kid who's alone, and afraid , and scared, and who no one hears, and who no one ever bother to listen to. Now you can blame this on the people that Holden reaches out to, or you could blame it on Holden himself. But the fact of the matter is it's no one's fault, because it's not our fault that empathy is inherently limited. Everyone in the book including Holden is self-involved. But they're self-involved, because that is the nature of being a person. So if you only think about the Holden who the story's happening to it's pretty frak depressing. It's when I think about the other Holden that I get hopeful, because a year later he's writing a story about the person he was and the way he writes the story makes us care. Now we are able to listen to him. Now we are able to empathize, that's the miracle of text I would argue, but it's also the miracle of non literal communication. The hunting hat, the movies, the carousel, that's his way in to us. That's how he gets inside of us and makes us care, makes us believe in him. Makes us realize that he is a person in the same way that we are. So all that "English class stuff" that students say ruins books, is actually Holden way into us, and our way out of ourselves.

'You know what I'd like to be? I mean if I had my goddam choice?'
'What? Stop swearing.'
'You know that song "If a body catch a body com'in through the rye"? I'd like-'
'It's "If a body meet a body coming through the rye"! Old Pheobe said. 'It's a poem. By Robert Burns.'
' I know it's a poem by Robert Burns.' She was right though. It is a body meet a body coming through the rye.' I didn't know it then, though. 'I though it was "If a body catch a body"', I said 'Anyways, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some games in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where their going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to do. I know it's crazy.'

Well it wasn't crazy.
Thank you.

All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.

2010-01-23T00:59:00.000-08:00

Da er den store dagen ankommet, min aller siste forestilling. Det er vel på tide å legge den fantastiske og helt fortryllende skuespiller karriéren min til side. Jeg føler meg omtrent som Gloria Swanson i Sunset Boulevard. Akk ja, men stykket er blitt skikkelig bra, så jeg gleder meg som ei lita høne.

I natt drømte jeg at vi var på ferie i Disney World og skulle kjøre Tower of Terror, en skikkelig awsome ride. Den starter med at man må gå gjennom et gammelt hjemsøkt hotell. Deretter kommer man til heisen og blir med den til øverste etasjé, så kjører men rundt i et bekmørt rom, mens en skummel stemme snakker. Det siste man hører er "Welcome to the Twilight Zone" også fyker man rett ned. Den er så fantastisk! Jeg husker jeg var livredd for selve filmen, men jo jeg drømte vi skulle ta den igjen, og denne gangen var det live actors på begynnelse og det var slik jeg møtte Dan Akroyk. Frakin' awesome I know! Han var favoritten min i Ghostbuster, vel han og Harold Ramis. Jeg kalte han Danny, yeah first name basis That's how I roll. Hvem likte du best?

Yours Truly,
Awkward Llam

Paper Stiptease

2010-01-20T12:13:00.000-08:00

Every full moon my brain decides to resurrect itself, something that gives me the opportunity to do a little thinking. So I have a slightly weird thought, I'm guessing it's okay since I'm high on medication, and all alone.

Fact: Lewis Carroll based his children's novel on Alice Pleasance Liddell.
Fact: I love Alice in Wonderland, and Lolita.

Now, somehow I managed to compare Dodgsen's relationship to Alice, with Humbert Humbert relationship towards Dolores Haze. Set aside the assumptions that Dodgson was sexually involved with his 7-year old muse. Although that would only improve my connection. I don't care much for rumours, and at this point it would only be speculation. It's irks me that whenever an adult spends time with a child, people automatically assume the child's innocence is at risk. Anyway this is beside the point.

In Lolita, Humbert is a European intellect, with a history of mental illness. A man who falls madly in love with the nymphet Dolores Haze, or Lolita. I simply adore the fist page:

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my lions. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip o the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.
She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Doloras on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita."

As a reader I feel in love with him, and his taboo relationship, due to his seductively skilled language, and somehow was able to look past the fact that he was capable of rape and murder. However I wish to focus on the romantic part of the relationship, even though Lolita never really managed to love him with the same force of passion, again I'm referring to the emotional spectra.

Charles L. Dodgson, better known as Lewis Carroll must have cared for Alice a great deal, seeing as he entertained her, and her sibling with tales of great adventure, later becoming Wonderland. Even though I know fairly little about the Carroll Myth, and the legend he has left behind for us to ponder. I believe both Humbert and Dodgson experienced, to some extend the same form of love, though Humbert Humbert is a fictional character. I take some strange comfort in believing this, for love is such a beautiful essence, and for something so fragile to have created such wonderful literature is beyond me. Anyway that's my opinion, their lives just amaze me. I hope I experience that kind of passion, that "circulated'' through their veins, even just half would suffice.

What I wouldn't give to have the missing pages of Dodgson's dairy. If only I had known the Time Traveller I might have borrowed his machine.

Yours Truly,
Awkward Llama

I Find These Truths To Be Self Evident

2010-01-19T01:00:00.000-08:00

Da sitter jeg her igjen, etter å ha gitt opp på en natt med udødelighet. Det eneste jeg lurer på akkurat nå er hvorfor i helvete jeg la kontrolleren like ved stereoanlegget, istedenfor på nattbordet der den egentlig skal ligge. Hva er vitsen med å ha en fjernkontroller, dersom man likevel må bevege seg bort til anlegget. Så mens jeg vurderer om turen er verdt det skal jeg blogge litt.

Jeg fant nettopp ut at turen er verdt det, og mer. Det er så herlig å høre på den fantastiske musikken min.

*Sett inn dårlig innledning til et enda verre innlegg*

Jeg hater å sove, mens jeg er syk. Jeg hater å spise når jeg er syk. Jeg hater å snakke i telefonen når jeg er syk. Jeg hater sterkt lys og lukt generelt, når jeg er syk. Jeg hater Alle Elsker Raymond, til vanlig, men spesielt når jeg er syk. Jeg kan ikke fordra å snyte meg, selve handlingen sender frysninger dansene nedover ryggraden min for ikke å glemme lyden av herligheten. Jeg hater å nyse, når jeg er syk, mest fordi jeg nyser på en voldelig måte. Spesielt hater jeg å nyse på bussen, alle passasjerene begynner med ett å lete etter kilden og forbanner deg for hver minste mikroskopiske organisme man har slengt fra seg. Jeg vet de gjør det, fordi jeg gjør akkurat det samme, men med tanke på alle de andre bakteriene som befinner seg der er vel en syk person heller en fontene av renslighet. Jeg tenker alltid på biokjemisk krigføring, når jeg er syk. Det er kanskje ikke så merkelig når det følelse som Einstein har detonert en atombombe inni hodet mitt.

Det eneste jeg liker å gjøre når jeg er syk er å grave meg ned på rommet, skru musikken på døvende høyt og lese, men jeg kan ikke gjøre det. Jeg må nemlig ut av huset og gjemme meg på bussen, for å få med meg de verdifulle timene på skolen. Grøss. Jeg er ikke vant med å være forkjølet. Ikke siden barneskolen har jeg vært så... flytende. Vakkert, ikke sant? Vanligvis har jeg en fin og tør halsbetennelse, jeg har blitt vant å leve med en vond hals. En vond hals har jeg blitt en mester på å håndtere. Jeg savner den forbannende sykdommen. Forkjølelse er så ubeleilig, man ikke gjøre noe som helst uten å miste en del av verdigheten sin.

Jeg hater å være syk.

Yours Truly,
Awkward Llama

Followed By Other Amazing Hits Such As ''Blogging My Heart Out'' & ''Ops I Typed It Agian''

2010-01-14T13:14:00.000-08:00

For kun noen få sekunder siden var jeg på nære nippen av å spille truth or dare online. Yes you heard me. Pathetic in ways your mom can't bend.

Jeg må nesten innrømme at jeg liker Pokerface. Død og førdervelse! Jeg syntes den er snasen, besides she cute with a chance of freaky. Ukens størrste nyhet er vel at jeg har ryddet det bomba horehuset mitt, annet enn det har det vært lite spenning.

Jeg lurer på hvordan andre ser meg, om det er positivt eller negativt? Det hadde vært intressant å kunne se seg selv fra en annens synspunkt, uannsett hvordan syn de har. Det er et aspekt av mennesker jeg har brukt mye av den begrensede hjernekapasiteten min til. Nemlig hvordan andre oppfatter verden. Det er så fjernt og tenke at min oppfattelse av for eksempel fargen rød kan være en annens turkis, men vi er begge blitt opplært til at det er svart. Skjønner du hvor jeg vil, annet enn inn i buksene dine selvsagt. Alt blir på en måte en illusjon, en form for opplært virkelighet. Det er nesten som å si at man kan bøye skjeen, fordi den egentlig ikke eksisterer. Det er jo helt utrolig å tenke at et fast objekt man kan holde egentlig ikke er der, men at de lille grå cellene holder oss for narr. Hjernen vår danner altså rammene for hva som er mulig, omtrent som et mentalt fengsel. Er det ikke fasinerende? Man kan umulig stole på noe idet hele tatt!

.... right, if you understood even one third of what I just shoved in your face I love you, if not you have much to learn young grasshopper. So brush you teeth before bed, don't do drugs, and if you walk in on your mom and I, it's not personal it's business.

Indecent References:
Tom Waits - Chocolate Jesus

Kanskje du hører på sangen hvis jeg spør deg direkte. Kathinka. Kan du høre på sangen? You know for once in your life.

Gratulerer med dagen Elisabeth!
If you begin to smell old people, don't worry it's just you.

Ello Polly!

2010-01-12T03:41:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! Let's hope it's as awkward as the previous one. Cheers!
After a good long x-mas holiday it's back to business, and when I say business I mean posting my life here. So, what's new you ask? Well, The year may be young but already it's been filled to the brim with awesome experiences. So, gather around childeren for I have a tale to tell, about a little girl and her family, and their wondrous trip to London.

As you may already know London is one hell of city, which is why we didn't get to see all the sights, fortunatly we saw them last time. This years trip consisted of Madame Tussauds wax museum, where I was finally given the chance to meet Micheal Jackson. My little ol' heart almost imploded.

We visited The London Aquarium, with some pretty nifty fish. I even found Nemo.

The next day we saw the Micheal Jackson Exhibition at the O2, and somehow ended up in the London Dungeon, where I became one of Jack's victims. Yes, we're on a first name basis. Let's not forget Harrod's and Hamleys.

This is actually beginning to sound like a very borring list, which is why I'll add some flavour. When we stopped by Starbucks, my favourite coffee place. I quite literally drool all over myself at just the mere thought of their amazingly tasty coffee! Anyway, after I toweled off and had finish my order, the lid fell off and the contents decided to pour itself over my hand. Painful would be an understatement, however it was hilarious walking around London with a mummified hand. I fit right in with Harrods' Egyptian escalator. Before we went to bed I even tasted Pimm's. You would not believe how good it is even after I've told you. Needless to say I got my hands on a bottle at the airport. We spent the last day visiting family in Gravesend, cheerful name! So there wasn't really any time for shopping, although I did manage to spend some punds and the airport. Naughty little me. All in all it was a delightful trip, and I hope to come back soon! Everything's so tiny and adorable in there, the buildings and cars, nothing at all like America where the word ginormous is an understatement, and the word small simply doesn't exist.

London Calling - The Clash
This version isn't actually sung by Strummer, it's more an ode to, but I like Elvis Costello so it ain't no thang but a chicken wang.

Happy birth-yesterday!

2009-11-21T04:40:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday dear Kathinka

Happy Birthday to you!

... and many more

and many more...

Gratulerer med dagen Kathinka <3

Michael Jackson - Happy Birthday

P.S. Beklager jeg ikke fikk postet dette igår, det irriterer meg. Bad Merete. Bad Merete!

Fixation

2009-11-19T10:36:00.000-08:00

This is basically a cluster-fuck of films and craziness. Some more films I want to see, and one that I just can't stop thinking about. Which is really just an excuse to write something. swoosh! Oh, and the links decided to end their little boycott. Lucky you.

First off is ''Dare'', which is, from what I've gathered so far, a modern spin on teen romance and how we experience the last chance we get before having to enter adult life. The story revolves around three teenagers, three very different teenagers I should add, and their last semester of high school. Are your taste buds tingling? The main reason I want to see this film is probably because Alan Cumming's in it, playing an extremely tasty drama teacher, who gets the plot spinning, hurling in action more like it. The three teens consist of; the good girl, played by Emmy Rossum, the misfit best friend, played by Zach Gilford, and the loner slash bad boy, played by Ashley Springer. There's intrigue, sex and so much more all woven into a rich story, so I've ''heard''. It's sound a lot like your average teenage film, but this one is supposedly classy?

Anyway I can't wait to see it. Sadly I don't think it'll hit the silver screen in Norway, so if your in love with Alan Cumming as well, let's cross our fingers the DVD makes the trip. Very few of his films ever do, which in my opinion is a tragedy, he has some amazing films. Besides a forty-four-year-old Scotsman with his voice, personality, and talent, can take me any day of the week. He may not be an A-lister but oddness has its turn-ons, and I adore his films. Obviously I haven't seen them all, he's been in well over 50 flicks, not counting the TV-series, and we all know I'm not good at following somebody's career. The whole attention span, gets in the way. Although he could possibly be a favourite, I don't know yet. Say what you will but the man, much like his last name, is awesome. Love him.
.

Sex.. I mean next is the animation ''Mary And Max'', written and directed by Adam Elliot. It's an adorably story about two pen pals. An unusual friendship between an eight-year-old girl living in Melbourne, and a forty-four-year-old man living in New York (played by Philip Seymour Hoffman, an amazing actor). Words can't even describe, for lack of a better word, it's cuteness. I've fallen head over heels for the trailer, and I hope the actual film is just as good. Trailers are tricky that way.

Third is ''The Step Father'' a remake of the 1987 horror film, which apparently was a big success with two sequels and a huge cult following. Have you heard of it before? Yes, No? I haven't so either I've been deprived of some essential human right, or I live in Norway, I don't know. Anywhoo it's about a step father, who goes postal on his new family. I don't know much more than that, and I'm trying to avoid reading the spoilers. I am not as excited about this film as the two above. However I'm intrigued, so that really all I need to know. It should be good, and if I don't like it I can always take a look-see at the original. Besides I'm not that picky when it comes to films. Hell, I just not picky. Call me. No?

And now for the main attraction...
''Quills'', a film that speaks for itself, and because that's a figure of speech I'll be doing the ''talking''. It was so brilliant I had to watch it again. I watched it three times on the same freaking day. Thrice! Now, you may say that's six hours of my life I will never get back, to that I laugh HA! and say six hours well spent! It was so good. No, orgasmic. I'm not sure if that makes me a pervert or not, seeing as it's very... out there. It's not exactly something I'd watch with family around. Or would I? I would at least risk it. You see within the first half hour I knew it would dwell within my soul for a very long time, and that doesn't happened that often. Seriously if you haven't seen this movie you need to "run down to the store" and get it. Now. Well, finish reading my post first, but after you've commented I want you to ''run as fast as your legs can carry''. Not only is the plot breathtaking but it's also packed with incredible actors such as; Geoffrey Rush, Kate Winslet, Joaquin Phoenix, and Michael Caine, even Bill form True Blood's in it, who would have guessed he had a career before Sookie. That was a little harsh... *insert apology here*
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The film's about The Marquis de Sade, an infamous French writer of the 18th century. Who's imprisoned, for the most perverse activities I've ever heard of, at the Charanton Insane Asylum, and we all know asylum's bring out the best in people. He's secretly publishing his erotic novels, with the help of a laundress named Madeline, behind the Abbe's back, the man who runs the asylum. Needless to say, things go terribly wrong and the ending is beyond earthly words. I get chills just thinking about it. Goosebumps-galore! And how Rush managed to make such a vile character like de Sade as attractive as he did is beyond me. Not to mention the killer line delivery. It's a masterpiece, filled to the brim with both humour and drama. Well, I hope you're satisfied, you've successfully tempted me to watch it again for the millionth time.
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Hope you survived, and more importantly I hope you're watching Quills. I can't possible stress this enough. Watch it, and tell me what you think. What did you think about the films above, did they peek your interest? I mean other than Quills because you already love it. Also if you have any recommendations for films or what not, let me know.

Until next time, be safe, be well, eat fruit, and touch as many people as you can.

Oh and I thought you should hear this from me first.

You mom pre-ordered tickets to New Moon...

One down. 5.99 billion to go...

2009-11-17T12:10:00.000-08:00

Today I had my first of two exams. I have been dreading this day for what feels like a century. It like finally coming home from a five day hike, and let me tell you I feel 110 pounds lighter. Yes, my dear friend a weight has been lighted. I am so glad there's only three and a half hours left of this day, for I am exhausted. Gather around children, and I will tell you the tale of the hobbit Merete and her battle for middle earth. My stomach just growled in the most peculiar way, I think it hates me. Let me just say a gallon of coffee and a bag of grapes will not sustain you for 24 hours, I learned that the hard way. I almost passed out when I got home. I know, very dramatic but true. My body's been a consistent earthquake, I do not recommend it. I didn't really get much sleep, you could say constant fear held me hostage. Eventually I gave up on sleep, drank coffee, and got ready to walk the plank. It took ages getting to the area where the exam was being held, Bjerke videregående. Well, I had never heard of it before, and had it not been for my mothers help I would most likely still be looking for it. Seriously it's on the other side of town, I won't even try to explain the lengths of what I had to go through. The horrible horrible things I had to do. Actually my dear mother drove me. She's awesome.

So I get there on time, a little before to be specific, and what do I do? I wait. Eventually we're allowed in, and before I even start writing some idiot accuses me of cheating. A wild accusation, that could not be further from the truth. Long story short he had been misinformed, and apologized. He accused some other people of cheating as well, for the same reason. One girl actually started crying, poor thing. Exams are very stressful, which is why you don't add to the pressure. Teenagers break easily. I think they extended her time, like that helps. Anyway the tasks were okay I guess, not what I was hoping for but still good. I analysed a novel, “Fru M.”written by Kjell Askildsen. You should check it out it was good. I had some pretty strong opinions about the topic as well so I'm kind of excited about the finish product. I think I did good, at least better than my previous exam, of course only time will tell. It's probably not good enough. It's not good enough. Christ, I'm really worried now. What's done is done. That made no sense... It's a miracle if you understand even a third of my blog. I should get some sort of screening devise that says what's understandable and what's just rubbish. ... and they never heard from her again...

When the exam was over I went home, ate some grapes, and ran to the bus. Can you believe I was only five minutes late for biology? I hadn't considered the 4 o'clock traffic. Whatever snaps for me. I'm taking praise wherever I can get it. Class was a blast, mostly because I was high on coffee and couldn't sit still. Afterwards I had 45 minutes to burn, or kill.
- Can you kill time?
- No, but you can crush it! *Holds up a cup of thyme and a grinder. Laughs* No, but seriously kids, this is you brain, *Crushes thyme* and this is you brain on drugs.

Yeah... That's just one of the many lame things I can up with on my stroll around Oslo. Your mind really starts to wonder when you're walking from bus stop to bus stop. At least my does. My mind has a mind of it's own! Get it? It's crazy up there, but I do love them walks. Makes it fun. Does you mind run away to distant places when you're out breathing in the freshly polluted air?

I know your mom gasps for it every night.
I'm sorry, not really, I just got home and my brain is fried. So I'm going to post this, get something to kill the hunger pains and call it a night. Hope I didn't bore you to much. I just wanted to stop by, and say high... High? That just proved my brainual malfunction. Oh and one more thing...
That's.
What... Wait for it, wait for it...
She said.

Love yah!

Rubbish. You've been warned.

2009-11-15T06:34:00.000-08:00

I probably should be cramming Norwegian literature, our famous authors and the different era's my charming little country's been through, but today it seems I have the attention span of a goldfish. Everyone's thinking "What's the difference?" I know right?. I've been cramming for two days straight (that's what she said) so I figure I can afford a little break. Cut to me tomorrow cursing my lack of interest today. I always regret not studying more. "If only I hadn't been so lazy!" Hezus what's wrong with me? On second thought don't answer that. Anyway yesterday I hung out, that sounds so dirty, I was with my bestest friend, I really should just say you, it not like anyone else will read this, and we were basically going to the movies. YAY. What movie did we see? I'm glad you asked, and I wonder why I always feel like a schizo... We saw 2012, the movie that attempts to predict the worlds demise. *girlie scream* It bases itself on the mayan calender, and the fact that it doesn't go any further than, you guessed it 2012. *girlie scream yet again* The ultimate doomsday. Do you remember, I think it was last year or early this year, when the news broke and we were all swarmed with doomsday predictions and everyone was running around screaming and crying with their skirt over their head? Oh wait that was just me... look away children. Well it seems like all that calmed down as soon as the media found the next big thing, swineflue? Or was there something in between Jez it's so difficult keeping up with the ''death and despair''- drama. You'd think we'd be immune by now. Too soon?

The sacred calender stops on December 21th 2012, I know what you're thinking. Right before Christmas, damn it. Now, I'll never know if I get that Malibu Barbie I always wanted. I don't really know that much about this little phenomenon, and I'm not going to ask prof. Google either. So it all boils down to the fact that we're all going to die. The movie tries to show how the human race attempt to survive this horrible attack. It all starts very scientific with neutrinos from massive sun explosions, that heat up the earth core. Question. If it's heating up the core, why aren't people dying from some sort of "deadly sunray". Even though the polar caps are melting, something seems to be missing. There's the earth crust displacement theory by Hapgood, I'd post a link if I actually thought you'd take the time to read it. Yes, I still remember my little grudge. Basically the movie's global warming revised, only this time it's not our fault?

Earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions, Yellowstone's long awaited blast from the past. That part actually made me a little sad, a lot of good memories, which is beside the point... A lot happens, and it feels like the producer's rushing to get everything in. It's got to be hard, that's what she said, to film the entire apocalypse in only two hours. I feel your struggle man. In other words there were a lot of close-ups on natural disasters, close-ups on characters we have brief acquaintances with, then a quick cut to a new disaster, cuts over to John Cusak's heroic struggling to ensure his family's (plus one) survival. Cut back to natural disaster. The plot was a cliché, I sorry but there was nothing new other than action and some nifty CA. Furthermore I wasn't able to create an emotional bond with any of the characters, which made me a little sad because that's the main reason I like watching Hollywood blockbusters. Maybe it was poor editing, bad timing or just me thinking life is pointless and questioning God's existence. Who knows?
Not that I'm trying to turn the movie into my own platform for heathen thoughts, I am a believer. It just put things into perspective. I mean we're all going to die eventually, but we've always been able to restrain the thoughts. We've never really experienced an actual countdown where we all die at the same time. Sound like a suicidal cult, I mean a group of people who are going to meet their alien leader. I'm just going to mention ''Heaven's gate''. Where was I? My blog has a high thread count, get it?

Its just, if we're all going to die in two years, why am I struggling to achieve a financially stable future? Then again if it doesn't pan out as they say, I'll most likely be cursing my discussion to abort mission. I don't really think it's going to happen. It's more likely they just didn't want to work on the calender any more, they could always make more eventually. Also if you look hard enough you'll find what you're looking for. Like the number 23. Once it creeps into your mind, it's everywhere. Anything you fixate on begins to appear. It's a common fact about the human brain. I am however perversely excited to see if I'm wrong. I know, it's likely I should seek psychological help. Nonetheless, if it's the end of the world I hope I go down with my head high. Interpret that as you wish.

If you've seen the film, I'm curious to know if you faith faltered, even ever so slightly? I just began thinking it was more likely that we created some higher power in order to stay sane, a little less alone in the world. Hmm... I'm actually not going to get into this, I haven't entirely understood my thoughts just, yet. Also religious discussions always pisses me off, and I refuse to beat myself up.

Have you noticed that there's been some kind of doomsday prophecy at the end of "every" era. For instance the Y2K bug, which was supposed to lead to computer systems malfunctioning and then the end of the world as we... Knew it. 1000AC was the year of apocalyptic paranoia. That's a mouthful, that's what she said. John of Toledo predicted September 23, 1186 (Julian calender), he calculated a fatale planetarium alignment. When Cotton Mather wasn't busy hunting witches he also liked to predict the end of the world. Predicting it three times 1697, 1716, and 1736. Puritans thought the year 1700 would end it all. Jehovah's Witnesses: 1918, then again in 1925, and 1984. 1990 had at least three doomsday prophecies. 2000 take the cake with 59 theories. That damn millennium bug. There's something about three zeroes that just gets the blood pumping for doomsday prophets. You see where I'm going with this right? The prophecies just don't seem to follow through.

That been said the point of the movie was no doubt about our humanity, and probably had nothing to do with the end being near.
You know who's end I'm near.

That was just wrong wasn't it?

P.S. Isn't the end of the world supposed to come when the sun turns into red giant and gobbles up our universe? Just asking. Omnomnom. Oh and I did actually like the movie, sort of. Hope your weekend was awesome.

It's the ''I couldn't find a snappy title so I'm just writing gibberish'' post BTW I'm still bruting over the your lack of interest in my hyperlinks

2009-11-10T11:33:00.000-08:00

Now firstly there are those of you who seem to think I visit the silver screen daily. So let me set the record straight once and for all. I normally get to see two or three films a years. Although strangely this year I think I've seen six with two more on the way, most of them with my family. Wait, actually this year's been crazy with movies. I've seen Milk, Star Trek, Up, Angels&Demons, Harry Potter (I saw that one twice, not because I'm one of those people. It was some other reason that's pointless to explain. The film in itself was alright, not at all what a HP-film should be but still.) Julia&Julie, This Is It, and Ice Age 3. Six with my family and three with my friends, but this is just some freak event, normally it's two to three, four is a good year.

Now we all know I'm somewhat of a movie-slut, among other things, and even though two double O nine's been a year filled with cinemactic experiences, I never really get to see the movies I so desperately would like to see. For instance out of all the movies I would have liked to see in the theatre only two of them are mentioned above. Do you want see the list? I'll show you the list:

- Public enemies
- Doubt
- Benjamin Button
- My Bloody Valentine
- Watchmen
- Milk
- The Boat That Rocked
- State of play
- Funny people
- The Reader
- Star Trek
- 9
- The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus
- The Invention of Lying
- District 9
- Avatar
- Where the wild things are

Of course a few of them haven't come out yet, and some just didn't cross the ocean.

The only ones I have any real hope for now is Where the wild things are, and Avatar. A dear children's book, my kindergarden teacher used to read at lunchtime, which was right before nap time. Gumbo I miss kindergarden! The book has a very simple plot, it's more the picture's that memorize. I mean when you're five you don't really pay that much attention. I liked the pictures and thought the monsters were awesomely adorable. I even dressed up as a wolf for Halloween, you know because Max wears a wolf suit so he can do mischievous things. Personally I think I looked more like a cat but whatever I was young, and on a budget. I had the tail and ears that's all that matters, everyone thought I was a stupid cat... I can't wait to see what Spike Gonze did with it. I heard some whispers earlier through the grapevine that it didn't get picked up by Norway, which made me sad. Luckily like most whispers is wasn't true and it's being released December 11th. Yay!

I don't really know that much about Avatars. It's probably not one of those movies that's going to withstands time but it looks pretty cool. It's got some fine looking CG but I do love them puppets. The Thing and Alien, damn good movies didn't even need CG, not that they had the same tools as now. The point is puppets were all the rage, until somebody decided they were outdated. Too old fashioned Uranus! I'd watch Labyrinth any day of the week, and The Thing still haunts me to this day, great movie. Okay so I might have a thing for puppets. I do love sesame street, and The Muppets. Oh honey don't even get me started on The Muppets. They're so close to my heart. Damn Disney for combining freakin' Ashanti with the Muppets in the Wizard of OZ remake. Disney's become such a sell-out, no morals no nothing, andAshanti is such a crap actress, she should stick to what she barely knows. I miss the good ol' Disney, before they sold their souls, and bought up Pixar and Muppets. I mean don't mess with my Muppets.

Anyway the point is I rarely ever get to see what's hidden behind the cinema's front door's and discover it's magic.

I do however plant a flag in you mom every other night.

Jeg fant nylig ut at min enslige leser ikke klikker seg videre på de flotte linkene, som jeg fyller innlegget mitt med- innlegget

2009-11-08T14:17:00.000-08:00

Jeg er såret, men egentlig forventer jeg ikke annet. Det er av og til skrekkelig mange linker gjemt inni tekstene mine. Personlig finner jeg enorm glede av linker, gjemme de, bruke de, åpne de, rett og slett avdekke deres hemmelighet. Jeg blir nysgjerrig når et ord skjuler en viderekobling, det er en fin blanding av spenning og stolthet. Det er et '' HA! Jeg fant den!"- øyeblikk etterfulgt av en spennings-sekvens rett ut fra en action film. Øynene åpner seg, munnen begynner å renne og fingrene skjelver i all forventning. Tiden er inne, det må skje nå! Noen ganger er jeg skikkelig hacker med å bruke linker, mens andre ganger er jeg en enormt god detektiv. Sherlock kan gå og legge seg.

Dere skråstrek du (Jeg er blitt virkelig forelsket i å skrive skråstek, selve symbolet er ubrukelig for meg nå tildag) har kanskje merket at jeg er en smule overdramatisk. Jeg er riktignok ikke så forvridd at jeg syntes viderekoblingen er tennbare, (Jeg skal innrømme at jeg har begynt å få en forkjærlighet til fornorsking av engelske ord viderekobling, kollisjonspute og etterbarberingsvann, selv om det tar dobbelt så lang tid å skrive de nye ordene. Norsk er så søtt. Altså verdensveven, det sier seg selv hvilket språk som er legendarisk) Ja, hvor var jeg... Viderekoblinger! Jeg har ikke et like nært forhold som det kanskje antydes ovenfor. Likevel er det fint om man kan ta en titt på de, men ork! (Nå fikk jeg plutselig veldig lyst til å se Ringenes Herre igjen. Ork ork ork. Apropos har jeg lært meg hvordan alvene ville skrevet navnet mitt. Ganske så stilig, eller hva?) Hvis du, du vet hvem du er, ikke har sett på linkene enda skal jeg ikke tvinge deg til å ha den samme gleden jeg får ut av viderekoblinger. Man burde kanskje se på dette innlegget med et kritisk blikk, for kl. 01.30 virker alt mye mer fantastisk enn å skrive en norsk stil som skulle vært levert for to uker siden. La latskapen råde sier nå jeg. I mitt forsvar har jeg heller valgt å prioritere biologi framfor norsken, noe jeg kanskje burde stokke litt om på. Meste fordi norsk eksamen kommer før biologi eksamen og jeg har fremdeles mareritt om den forrige norsk læreren min. Hmm, jeg har egentlig begynt å ha mareritt om norsk generelt. Det er nok den eksamen jeg frykter mest. Ja ja nok om det.

Jeg liker virkelig å blogge vet du hvorfor? Jo, det skal jeg fortelle deg. Rett og slett fordi det er ikke er noen regleverk for hvordan man må skrive, man kan late som noen faktisk leser det og man kan la tankene strømme ned på arket... Gjennom fingrene og opp på skjermen? (Dagens teknologi er virkelig et underverk) For ikke å glemme er det så mye mer personlig. Dersom man snubler over en alt-mulig-blogg, slik som denne, der personen skriver om tanker og dagene sine, føler man etter hvert at man kjenner dem. Det er omtrent som kjendiser, takket vært TV får man følelsen av at de er nære venner eller familie medlemmer. (Ser dere rimet? Det var ikke meningen. Du skjønner jeg brukte halve dagen min på å skrive et lite dikt til min elskede, som snart har bursdag. Det er fryktelige teit, men det er jeg også.)Altså, selv om man kun får se den delen personen velger å vise frem, føler man en slags nærhet til personen. Det er nøyaktig en slik nærhet jeg har begynt å føle til noen av de Youtube- ansiktene jeg følger med på. (Jeg er ganske glad idag, jeg vet ikke om du har merket det? Ønsket bare å påpeke det. Apropos påpeking? Er det et ord... Det er Farsdag i dag eller det var igår... tidsrammer er så merkelige, unnsett. Gratulerer med farsdag, Pappa! Satte du pris på din pappa skråstrek far? Jeg syntes far er så kaldt å si. Du vet, ''Hvem som helst kan være far, men ikke alle kan bli en pappa'' en trøtt oversettelse fra det engelske ordtaket. Det burde hete pappadag, men da tenker jeg på dag mamma av en eller annen grunn. Nei, la det hete farsdag, for all del.) Hvor endte tråden? Ah, youtube. Jeg hoppet på bølgen litt i etterskudd, som vanlig, men nå har jeg besøkt den omtrent hver dag i et par år. Det gjør hverdagen så mye enklere og en smule mer artig.

Jeg gleder meg til den nye Star Trek filmen kommer ut... i 2011. Blir du med på å se de gode gamle Star Trek filmene? Skal vi se det er ti filmer og er kanskje 2 timer i gjennomsnitt. Vi greier det fint på en helg. Så kan vi avslutte med Star Wars? Jeg har helt ubeskrivelig lyst til å se de igjen. Spesielt Star Wars. De har jeg ikke sett på en evighet. Utviklingen til Yoda er fantastiske i seg selv, fra dukke til animasjon. Det fins ikke bedre enn det. Jeg har aldri tenkt over det, på grunn av alt som skjer, men det er vel på sett og vis biografien til Anakin Skywalker. Stilig.

Imorgen må jeg finne en avslutning for norsk stilen min.,så jeg burde nok legge meg nå. Jeg nekter å komme tomhendt til timen atter en gang. Dette innlegget skulle egentlig bare bevise at jeg fremdeles var i live, men siden alt er skrevet på norsk er det vel ikke en betryggende følelse. Jeg kan ikke huske sist jeg skrev et helt innlegg uten å bytte til engelsk med en gang. Har det i det hele tatt inntruffet? Det er vel som en komet man kun ser hvert 60'ende år.

Det var forresten kino dag på lørdagen. Gikk du på kino? I så fall hvilke film valgte du å se og med hvem? Jeg ble frivillig dratt med på ''A Christmas Carol'' i 3D, med Jim Carey, Gary Oldman og Collin Firth. Den var skrekkelig god og noe av det skumleste jeg har sett. Helt fantastisk. Jeg anbefaler den på det aller høyeste. I tillegg til en helt fortreffelig gjennomføring av en kjær klassiker gjorde de en utmerket jobb med 3D- effektene. Det var snøfnugg og piper og hender og spøkelser og all slags julestemning fykende ut av lerretet. Jeg skvatt gjentatte ganger og opplevde en enorm trang til å strekke ut armen og gripe etter diverse saker og ting. De skjønte virkelig hvordan 3D skulle oppleves. I motsettnig til ''Is Tid 3'', der man satt og grublet over manglene handling og håpløs bruk av selve 3D- opplevelsen. Der har du en film som kunne blitt mye bedre, hadde de bare brukt litt mer tid med 3D brillene på. Is tid var fremdeles ikke helt bortkastet takket være Buck, som du er nødt til å oppleve i all sin herlighet. Har du lagt merke til nøyaktig hvor irriterende stemme til Raymond Barone er? Unnsett må dere se "A Christmas Carol" den var virkelig 10 julestjerner. Nå som jeg nevnte julestjerner er det en leilighet jeg går forbi på vei hjem fra Bjørknes som har hengt opp julestjernen i vinduet allerede. Da jeg så det fikk jeg en god og varm julefølelse og begynte å smile som om jeg var blitt gal. Det er merkelig at tankegangen min går direkte til gal hver gang jeg ser noen smile på gaten helt alene. Hyggelig, men fullstendig sprø. Jeg er tydeligvis ikke den eneste med en slik tankegang, ettersom jeg fikk noen uhyrlige underlige blikk etter det.

Nå har jeg prøvd å avslutte dette innlegget siden viderekoblinger, derfor stopper jeg nå og går av her. Dette innlegget burde vel holde noen uker tenker jeg. En lengde som dette blir nok lest i intervaller. Jeg skriver nå ikke så ofte, men når jeg først setter meg ned kan man umulig klage på at det ble for kort. Håper du hadde en fin helg og at mandag ikke er like ille som Garfeild skal ha det til.

P.S. Håper du la merke til at det ikke er noen viderekoblinger, hva er nå vitsen hvis ingen ser på de vakre små linken? Ja vel. De kommer vel tilbake når jeg har glemt å late som jeg er såret. Merk deg at jeg kunne brukt noen ekstremt passende linker til dette innlegget. Merk deg det. En siste ting før jeg publiserer innlegget. Jeg så traileren til den nye Twilight filmen, mens jeg ventet på at ''A Christmass Carol'' skulle begynne og til min store overraskelse så jeg et glimt av Dakota Fanning. Jeg ante ikke at hun skulle være med i den filmen, jeg ble til og med en smule fascinert med et snes av spent. Jeg har nemlig blitt litt glad i den lille jenta, og syntes hun er en flink skuespiller. Jeg håper bare hun klarer og holde yrket gående, noe jeg har tro på. Det var jo litt trist det som skjedde med Macaulay Culkin, men da han kom tilbake med Party Monster i 2003 ble fortid fortid. Party Monster er jo både syk og fantastisk, i tillegg basert på en bok som er igjen basert på en sann historie og sånt liker jeg. Hvis du er interessert heter boken ''Disco Bloodbath A Fabulous But True Tale Of Murder In Clubland" Den handler om Michael Alig en av Clubkids'a. Ojsann nå gjorde jeg det igjen, nå skal jeg stoppe. Natta skråstrek god morgen!

Namaarie

I Feel Like A Piñata

2009-10-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

Okay first off. Today was the day I realized winter was coming. I received this little revelation after slipping and losing my footing, due to the frosted pavement. I can't even begin to describe the hate I feel towards ice and hard rime. Sure it looks nice and peaceful, but it really is my worst enemy. It ruins your entire day, and it always comes back. You'll be walking along, feeling pretty good about yourself. You're having a good hair-day, or whatever makes you happy then BAM! You slip and fall to the ground. Humiliation and pain come crashing down, and the weird thing is that pain always comes second in those situations. If somebody see you fall, you instantly start laughing and making fun of yourself. You could be missing a leg, you'll still be trying to lighten the mood. "That was great, totally meant to do that. Awesome fall. German judge gives it a 10. Nailed the landing... *laughgigglejoy* Where's my leg. You saw it just catapult out of here. Guess it couldn't stand me any more. Get it? Oh, the hilarity." Then when you're alone you fall apart crying over your lost ligaments. All this because winter has to be a bitch on wheels. Now I love winter, I just don't have to like it.

Secondly, is the list. Something I really don't want to do, but somebody, you know who you are, has begun to threaten my life. Therefore I'm make a list about things I want. What I really want is to not have to talk about what I want. It makes me uncomfortable. Which is completely insane and irregular and I know it. Still I don't like it. I kind of dug my own grave here though. I'm man enough to admit it. The "I'll blog a list about things I want tonight" was a joke taken seriously. Damn sms... That been said I'll move on my material wishes.

* Michael Jackson Mega Box
* Visionary: The Video Singles
* The Michael Jackson Treasures
* Michael Jackson: The Magic and the Madness

... Really anything and everthing that consists of Jackson.

* Invader Zim
* Rye Coalition - Curses
* Porcupine Tree - In Absentia
* Bigbang - Electric Psalmbook
* Transmetropolitan vol. 3 Vol. 3: Year of the Bastard
* Sandman vol.3 Dream Country
* Preacher vol.2
* Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
* The Mentalist
* How I Met You Mother
* The L Word Season 3
* Battlestar Galactica
* House of D
* Toys
* Lolita (1997)

I don't think I can squeeze out any more than that. Three hours is more than enough, I need sleep. Oh my, turned out to be alot. I see now that most of it's pretty expensive, but I got a job so no problem.

... And you're mom pays well so...

Indecent Exposure:
D'angelo - Feel Like Makin' Love
At first I thought he sang I feel like a piñata. I got the song from The L Word, the scene where Carmen does a little dance for Shane. Steamy and indecent at your service. It sucks that the series ended, the last season was a little disappointing as well. Then agian it only seems fair the series begins with Jenny, it should end with her.

P.S. My 100th post. Yay me!

Such uberness you've never experienced before. Epic postage.

Smell It Properly

2009-10-23T02:23:00.000-07:00

You know what the best gift you could possibly give is? Neither do I.

However I do know what the worst is, at least one of them. Soap. I realize the irony in me saying this, referring to my very real fear of germs. You would think soap was right up my alley. Oh how wrong you would be. I mean how many times can I be enthusiastic about bar of soap? Unless it turns you into frikkin Tinkerbell in the shower, and you have the ultimate Herbal Essences moment. Which by the way I'm still waiting for. Damn commercial more like Herbal's Empty Promises. Keep in mind that the gift you give also says something about your perception of that person. So when you saw a bar of soap you instantly thought of me? Am I not clean enough, is that it? Or do you just generally not care enough to give a something a little more original? I mean Jesus what's wrong with these people all soap smells the same. I don't know about you but I like neutral smells. Which is another thing, older women seem to drown themselves in perfume. Like they're trying to hide the smell of there body decomposing. I'm sorry but we can still see it. It's called ageing gracefully, you might want to try it.

I work incredibly hard to try and find presents I've heard others mention before. I stay up nights racking my brain to find something they'll actually like. So, if I give a bad gift it's not for lack of trying. I really do hope I give good presents. In my entire gift-giving life I have not once given soap to friends or relatives. Okay once I gave a bar of soap to a teacher I hated... strongly disliked. Don't ask my why, everyone was doing it. She said every time she used it she'd think of me. What sane adult says that to an ten-year-old? So now every time she's in the shower I'm the one she thinking about, while she scrubs down. Creeps. Me. Out! Soap has scared me for life. In my oppinion you can only buy soap in certain circumstances. One you're a kid with no money, and it's for you mom, and two you're a kid with no money and its for you grandmother. The instant you have money I don't understand why you buy soap. Even without money you could easily make something better. Arts & Crafts good times. Unless the person enjoys getting soaps in the shape of animals or sea-shells. It's like people who buy candles. Candles and soap, to me just say fuck you.

Question of the day. What's the most thoughtful gift you've ever received? Or just you're favorite? For me it's my precious little locket from my precious little bumble bee.

... and of course what you're mom gave me last night. Special.

Indecent Exposure:
Clutch - The Soapmakers
I know I've used this song before but honestly a post about soap needs a soapy-ish song.

Michael Jackson - Johnny Raven

Just because I like it.

So...Much...FILTH!

2009-10-16T11:18:00.001-07:00

Germs are everywhere and I know it. It's one of many compulsions.

I am not a very tidy person, mostly because I'm lazy, big shocker there. I have to be in a housekeeping mood, which only happens if I can't sleep, I'm really bored, or people are coming over. Which reminds me I have to tidy up a bit before my precious visits. Cleaning's one of those tasks that you try to avoid, but when you're doing it, it's not really that bad. You know like your mom... Honestly I don't do it on propose, it's like my brain's been rewired.

Anywhoo, I'm not big on tidy, I am however a huge germ-freak. Seriously I wash my hands all the time, and if I can't, I sit there thinking about the germ colonies taking over. I can actually feel layers of germs crawling all over my skin. Germs are also the main reason, why I hate public bathrooms and libraries, because you just don't know what people do behind closed doors. Add to that my own little paranoia and you've got one messed up teen. I mean, I think I'm going to get an STD just from entering a public bathroom, and the amount of paper I use to feel safe is sickening. I could save an entire forest by staying at home, although the toilet paper these days are like 1/12 of a millimetre, not even that. So you would need the entire roll, anyway, but that's beside the point.

The second I leave home I feel dirty. In my mind the unknown is filthy. It's not like I can't handle nature, that's completely different, is more humans that scare me. Don't even get me started on unidentified substance. Are you beginning to see my freaky. Seriously I don't even like going to other peoples toilets, unless I know them really well. You should probably know my best friend is a very clean and tidy person. Thank god for that! Not that it's a criteria or anything... Shaking hands is also a problem for me, because I'm a little pervy and my mind just goes there instantly. Like why were his hands in his pocket? Did she wash her hands after that?

I'm also very paranoid about whether other people wash their hands as much as I do. It causes alot of problems. Mainly the dreaded handshake. I look at your hand and I see a germ infestation. I see a germ there, there, there. I see alot of germs, so let me sprinkle some onions, some cheese, some mushrooms and ask me to shake you hand. I know it's completely insane and irrational, I don't even know why I do it. Another thing is I always notice where other people put their hands, for instance along the edge of my glass. I know nobody else knows it but I know it. I take a mental note and act acordingly, and before you ask no I don't like loose change either. The smell is revolting and you just know that smell is due to metall being held in a sweaty palm. Also if I've seen someone cough of sneeze in their hands. I take a mental note of it and just avoid them all together. I mean, come on everybody knows you sneeze in your elbow. Elbow, you know the hinge joint that connects your upper arm and forearm. Remember that kids.

Oh my, I just realized who completely messed up my kids are going to be. Than again they would only be experiencing what I went through so they'll just have to suck it up, and rub some dirt on it. Sanitary dirt of course... Does that even exist? You see my mom's big of cleaning and has taught me well. She used to tell me about all the germs in the world. Not to scary me, well not intentionally. Lets just say it kept me from lick the sidewalk, and enjoying the wonders of a library. Everytime I hold one of those books it feels like my arm is going to fall off, from Typhus. I mean those yellow-brownish books used to be white once. Even though paper changes colour over time, it does change that drastically. No surrey bob, that colour only comes from hundreds of people, holding and rubbing and sneezing all over it. Then letting those germs grow and evolve into an unstoppable force. They're everywhere! I get shivers just from thinking about it. I should be living in a bubble. I'm completely aware of how this sounds. I know there are germs everywhere, and that most are necessary and good for you but still. They're germs and I'm one door short of a cabinet.

BTW! The girl I'm going to marry, she just doesn't know it yet, showed up at my workplace yesterday. A completely awesome surprise that I just love her for doing! Better than jumping out of a cake, although that would be pretty wicked too. This is actually the main reason I'm writing. To inform the world that my rent-a-friend does charity work as well. I'm joking, I'm joking. I don't have to buy it. I have plenty.... real. friends. *Kremt*

I'm sorry it took so long to post a new instalment of my indecent life, its just my throat's been really sore, and I've been feeling really sick. Which is strange, since I told your dad to just be gentle...

Yeah... I'm that many lames.

... I'm gonna roll around on the floor now...

Indecent Exposure:
Michael Jackson - Euphoria
I actually learned how to spell euphoria because of this song. So if I'm ever in doubt I just singing ''E. U. P. H. O. R. I. A. That the new word for today''. I love this song.
Just a little personal fun fact for yah.

Got This Love I Can Feel

2009-10-12T14:43:00.000-07:00

Jeg har hatt en helt fortreffelig dag! Hvordan gikk det med deg?

I det siste har jeg oppdaget at jeg sjeldent blogger når jeg er glad og alt er fryd og gammen. Dette er noe jeg gjerne vil forandre. Du skjønner idag har vært glimrende, det er nesten som jeg har svevd på en sky i hele dag. Ikke har jeg vært trøtt heller. Jeg skal fortelle deg hvorfor dette er et viktig moment akkurat nu. Du skjønner jeg sto opp kl. 5 idag, for å rekke ned på jernbanetorget. Der Sony skulle lansere den nye låten til Michael Jackson, "This Is It". Singlen ble egentlig spilt inn i forbindelse med ''Off the Wall'' albumet, noe som er en smule spooky. Riktig nok slippes den som PR for den kommende samleplaten og allerede favoritt film ved samme navn. Jeg leste et sted at den opprinnelig skulle spilles som den siste låten på konserten hans. Personlig fikk jeg frysninger av låten, gode Jackson-frysninger. Jeg lukket øynene og ble fullstendig revet med. Den har spilt i hodet mitt hele dag, ikke rart dagen min har vært så fantastisk, når den startet slik!

Jeg fikk også en ny venn, en ekte Michael Jackson fan, jeg skal innrømme jeg ble glad da jeg møtte en som var like gal som meg selv. Needless to say vi delte historier. I am not alone. Hun må tro jeg er fullstendig freak, jeg tok litt av. Likevel var hun hyggelig og jeg håper vi holder kontakten.

Sangen var himmelsk! Selve opplegget derimot var litt uprofesjonelt. Norge er virkelig dårlig til å arrangere slike ting og jeg ble litt skuffet. Jaja, det var jo ikke derfor jeg dro. Det er bare litt trist når det er selveste kongen det gjelder. Har jeg sagt at jeg elsker sangen? Gleder meg til jeg får tak i den. Uheldigvis slippes den ikke før 26/10, dagen før filmen treffer kinoer verden over. GAH! Det er en evighet til.

''This is it''

This is it, here I stand
I’m the light of the world, I feel grand
Got this love I can feel
And I know yes for sure it is real

And it feels as though I’ve seen your face a thousand times
And you said you really know me too yourself
And I know that you have got addicted with your eyes
But you say you gonna live it for yourself.

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
C’mon baby, just understand

.
This is it, I can say,
I’m the light of the world, run away
We can feel, this is real
Every time I’m in love that I feel

And I feel as though I’ve known you since a thousand years
And you tell me that you’ve seen my face before.
And you said to me you don’t want me hanging round
Many times, wanna do it here before
.

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
C’mon baby, just understand

This is it, I can feel
I’m the light of the world, this is real
Feel my song, we can say
And I tell you I feel that way
.

And I feel as though I’ve known you for a thousand years
And you said you want some of this yourself
And you said won’t you go with me, on a while
And I know that it’s really cool myself
.

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
C’mon baby, just understand

Drag A Doll By The Foot

2009-10-02T13:22:00.000-07:00

Do you think manikins are dolls made to dress like humans or humans made to dress like dolls? Think about it.

Have you ever seen a manikin and mistaken it for a real live human being? I mean these days, most of the manikins used in department stores are pretty damn realistic. And it scares the sense right out of me. You'll be walking around minding my own business, awesome shirt, cool pants, turn a corner. Then bam! There it is, with this sick perverted look on its face. Like its been waiting for you. They stand there stiff, with their fixed gaze, almost as if they're frozen in time. Stuck between two worlds. Screaming, begging for someone to understand the truth they conceal. Semi-figures of us. A dream of perfection.

They're often used in horror movie, playing an essential part in the development of both scene and atmosphere. Puppets, dolls, manikins, marionettes, toys created to please a child. What makes these objects so frightful? Is it simply the thought of another person standing still for so long? Making the mind play tricks, never really knowing for sure? Is it the thought of a child's purity, captured in an empty casing? The owners essence being passed on from generation to generation? The fact that they look human but aren't? Or is it their wide eyes, and smile, the facial expression as a whole, that induces chills throughout the body? You see happy people freak me out as well, it's just not normal... Constantly smiling. I always wonder why they're so happy. Is it because they chopped up dear ol' dad and mom's in the freezer? I think most people have some sort of reaction to overly ecstatic people. I mean it's not our fault, that literature and films choose to portray happiness as insanity. You need a reason to smile, otherwise it's just weird. Riiight, no more horror marathons for Merete...

Anyway. Dolls are extremely life-like, too life-like if you ask me. I keep thinking they'll wake up from some deep slumber and go straight for the jugular. Crazy right? Or is it. Don't tell me you don't backup a few steps, after encountering a manikin. Especially when it comes to museums. You never know what goes on in those places. The smell, the dark lights, and generally no sound at all, maybe like a low humming at the very less. Honestly I have the worst experiences with manikins. I'll even share one with you... *Que the awesome flashback haze* My family and I were at this civil war monument slash museum when I was around 8 or so. I remember it exactly, it was the Jenny Wade – house in Gettysburg. So we're having a looksee, and there's a manikin by the kitchen table. Well, out of nowhere the doll starts making noises, really creepy sounds, and a face begins to appear. Suddenly it's starts talking. A doll started telling her story, like he was asleep and then woke up. And you wonder why I'm scared of dolls attacking.

I don't remember all the details but her story went something like this. The Confederate troops were looking for supplies so people were hiding their food. At the same time Northern troops were also marching into Gettysburg (the good guys). Therefore many citizens decided to retreat to their cellars as protection against battle shells, since a confrontation was enevitable. Jennie (which actually was her nickname, she was born Mary Virginia Wade) and her family thought her sister's home would be safe enough, since it wasn't in the direct line of the fire. She prepared bread for the Union soldiers and filled their canteens with water. When the Confederates fired on the area, including the Wade house. Jennie refused to retreat to the basement. She was making biscuits for the Northern soldiers and felt it was her patriotic duty to remain. A confederate soldier, fired and the bullet went through the door of the Wade house and struck Jennie in the back. Now that's a bad day.

.
Oh, but the trauma doesn't stop there, no. I absent-mindedly went down to the basement and foolishly entered this tiny little room. Guess what was there. On a narrow bench lay a girl with a white linen cloth covering her entire body, with the except of her black pointy leather shoes. That image still haunts me to this day. I thought it was a corpse and completely froze. I stood utterly still until the rest of the tour group caught up with me. The guide thought showing me the dolls face would help. You knwo snap me out of it. That night I had my first nightmare. Just the mere thought make me want to curl up and die. I just relized I've never told anyone this. I mean people know dolls freak me out, just not the reason behind it. I hadn't really gven it much thought up until now. Kind of a relief knowing it's childhood trauma and not a screw loose, eventhough I have several. Who needs a skrink when you can just blog about it. Hope you liked my personal insight. Deep right? Like a puddle.

Not all dolls are scary, I suppose but the older they are, the more intense they seem. Creeps me out.

... I don't want creepy doll pictures on my blog because I'll freak everytime I log on, and I'm not posting any freaky links either so you can just forget it...

Maybe just one...

TheGr3yZon3:
Puddle Of Mudd - Blurry
I love this song.

Lemony fresh victory shall be mine!

2009-09-30T06:07:00.001-07:00

Nå har jeg siklet etter, kanskje ikke det rette ordet, ønsket denne boken i godt over en måned og idag skal jeg endelig få rumpenstumpen i gir, eller ikke... What?! I had a busy day. Stuff happends. Get off my frikin back. I didn't actually buy the book, but I did however hold it ever so gently in my arms. Caressing it, loving it, having forbidden kisses with it. Then some old lady hit me. No not really my life's not that exciting. But I realized I wanted the original hardcover, not the lame paperback, which really makes a feeble attempt of being a book. Nothing agianst paperback, buy them all the time, just this book is special. God damn it just tell them so I can go to bed. I suffer from split personality disorder. Yeah she dreams. Right... I'm gonna switching to norsk now.

J. Randy Taraborrelli, en personlig og god venn av min elskede Jackson, har skrevet ''Michael Jackson: The Magic & The Madness''. Boken tar for seg livet og karrièren hans, samtidig som den prøver å skille mannen fra myten. "The fruit of over 30 years research". Jeg er ikke helt sikker på hvilken bok jeg skal kjøpe, forfatteren har nemlig skrevet flere bøker med samme navn. Go figure. En ble utgitt i 2004 og den andre for ikke så lenge siden. "Michael Jackson: The Magic, The Madness, The Whole Story, 1958-2009". Det er hovedgrunnen til hvorfor den ikke ligger på nattbordet mitt. Jeg velger å se bortifra det faktumet at jeg er treg og skylder på forfatteren. Woosh. Jeg har egentlig aldri likt tanken på å lese en bok om Jackson, men kanskje en god venn klarer å vis mer hensyn.

Nå som jeg har startet denne flotte handlelisten kan jeg informere om en fantastisk ny tegnserie. "North 40". Først trodde jeg den handlet om vanlige mennesker med superkrefter been there done that boring!, men til min store fornøyelse er den hakket med skrekk-orientert og sånt liker man. Vi snakker tentakler, hoggtenner, x-ray vision og zombier. Serien er et kunstverk in all its glory. Den er med andre ord på vei inn i mitt hjem. Hvis du vil ha noen fine detaljer er den skrevet av Aaron Williams og tegnet av Fiona Staples, she colors within the lines, er det bare jeg som tenker på Eurotrip når jeg hører Fiiiiiionaaaaaaaa. Makes me smile. For more in-to-the-fo cheak out Wildstorm Comics.

PLUSSPLUSSPLUSSPLUSS!!!

Herlighet at jeg ikke har fortalt noen om dette enda. Du får bli den første. Ja, du min trofaste enslige leser, Miss Ringo Starr. Jeg er den stolte eier av kinobilletter til ''This is it''. Det er laget film om forberedelsene til selve konserten. Ikke det samme som å se han live, men jeg tar det jeg får. Jeg gir alt jeg har av organer og blod for bare et glimps av den mannen. Selvsagt etter jeg har fått opplevd hans herlighet. Hakkebakke, jeg våkner fremdeles om morgningen og tror jeg skal på den konserten. Synk inn. Synk inn. Synk inn. Bah! Filmen har klipp fra bak kulissene, tilbakeblikk på hans karriere, intervjuer og selvfølgelig Michael Jackson. Konserten som en helhet. Jeg gaper etter luft hver gang jeg ser traileren og mister fullstendig kontroll over tåreapparatet. Trodde aldri det skulle skje. Jeg var fullstendig panisk etter billetter, Internett funket ikke, det var kø på telefonen og gode råd var dyre. Hadde ikke mamma stoppet meg ville jeg løpt til Oslo. Var farlig nær å sove utenfor kinoen, men som sagt fikk jeg tak i billetter. Da Internett var ferdig med that time of month. Jeg våger å påstå at det hadde vært verdens beste konsert.

Zentastic:
Michael Jackson - 'This Is It' Official Movie Trailer

Chillz.

I wear glasses too.

2009-09-29T08:36:00.001-07:00

Sadly, when I take them off, I'm still not incredibly attractive.

It generally upsets me when I see movies where popular girls take off unpopular girls' glasses, and all of a sudden they're attractive. I mean why can't that be my reality too? Also as somebody who is a frequent user of glasses I get offended when they ask stupid questions like: do you ever take those glasses off? ... and all of asudden the nerdy girls is incredibly attractive, just because she lost the ponytail and her glasses. Now this doesn't happen in real life, or so you would think. My boss actually asked me yesterday if I ever considered taking them off. I'm thinking: No, I generally like seeing what I'm doing. You see I probably have the same proscriptions as your grandma. Naturally I laughed uncomfortably, said I'd think about it, and walked away, creep-style. Honestly who says something like that! I'm sorry my appearance is that offensive? I'm actually having an ongoing battle with myself between the practical and easy glasses or the practical and quick contacts. They both sting like a harpy so it really is a toss up. What do you think. Spectacles or eyeball-covers? Glasses are better for studying though, since I can take them off as I please... much like your moms bra.

If I don't change the topic soon I'm going to bore myself to death. Which is almost the title of a new TV-series. Bored to death. A series that really does deliver what it promises. It will in actuality bore you to death. See what I did there. If that doesn't get the ladies...

Share bear-time!

Today's show and tell is about "Girl, interrupted", which was published in 1993. In the 1999 screen adaptation, Winona Ryder plays Susanna Kaysen, the author and main character. Other big names are Angelina Jolie as Lisa Rowe, Brittany Murrphy as Daisy, Clea DuVall as Georgina, and Whoopi Goldberg plays Valerie.

Dr. Crumble: Susanna, four days ago... you chased a bottle of aspirin, with a bottle of vodka.

Susanna: I had a headache.

"Girl, interrupted" tells the tale of an eighteen year old girl, who half-heartedly attempted suicide. Instead of going on to college, she's sent to a mental institution. The story takes place in the 60's, and along with all the problems that follow, a rather captivating story develops. A story with issues ranging from: limited choices for women to freedom vs. captivity, taking a detour through detachment and insanity. Lisa is the most powerful personality, who has an utter disregard for authority, making her both frustrating and entertaining. Georgina, however is defiantly one of my favourites. Susan's room-mate, the pathological liar, shows no obvious signs of illness, much like the rest of the ward. In a sense she is a reflection of the ward's internal emotions, yet reveals the depth of her unhappiness in her own suddle way. Needless to say I've watch the film several times, and this is just my personal take on things. I love the movie as much I love your hair. It's a darkly humorous and philosophic memoir, that every teenage girl should either see or read. I'm not going to be a spoiler, even though I really want to! This is me fighting my urges. It really is worthwhile watching Jolie and Ryder in action.

Instructor: Now what kind of a tree can you be, Janet, down there on the floor?

Janet: I'm a fucking shrub, all right?

I've been trying to get my hands on a copy of Susanna Kaysen's best seller for years. The only reason I haven't been successfully, is the fact that I have the attention span of a leprechaun. I give up way to easily, and my mind keeps forgetting important things. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Susanna: Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is... Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It's you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends and by the '70s most of them were out living lives. Some I've seen, some never again, but there isn't a day my heart doesn't find them.

The book is defiantly on my to do list.

Soz your mom.

... I'm not apologizing for that one...

TheGreyZone:
Electric Light Orchestra - Turn To Stone

daily update.

2009-09-25T10:12:00.000-07:00

Igår tok vi den tradisjonelle turen langs akerelva. Hvorfor skal jeg blogge om det, lurer du nok på. Vel, det var ingen vanlig tur, det var vandring langs akerelva. Lat som Vincent Price sa den siste delen, virker kulere.

Vandring langs akerelva er en årlig begivenhet der man kombinerer trim med en trolsk aften. En opplevelsesrik tur der man kan stoppe opp å se på forskjellig arrangementer skråstrek forestillinger: korsang, dans, spøkelser, kunst og lek med flammer. 8 km pure fun.

Elva in all her glory

Fire

Nails

Fire and nails

Politibandet, et band med politimenn! Musikken deres var forresten mye bedre enn bildet.

TheGreyZone:
Michael McDonald - I Heard It Through The Grapevine
Good memory.

Mr Blue Sky

2009-09-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

The title has nothing to do with this post. It's just a subliminal message from me to you, saying how much I love this song.

Imagine a world where it is utterly impossible to tell a lie. One hundred percent honesty 24/7 all year long. All those little voices in your head completely revealed. No secrets, everything out in the open. Can you see it? Well Ricky Gervais did. A man best summed up by his infamous quote, "Are you having a laugh?", or perhaps not. Anybore he's my favourite comedic genius second only to the great Robin Williams. Two completely different characters. If you don't know who he is you've seriously missed out. He's played Ferdy in Stardust, starred in Ghost Town and plays Andy Millman a struggling actor in the ultimate tv-series Extras. Let me just get back on track.

"In a world where everyone can only tell the truth... ...This guy can lie"

Jennifer Garner aka Sidney Bristow from Alias how much do you love that series? plays Anna McDoogles, Mark Bellison's love interest. Ricky Gervais plays Mark Bellison, the guy who invents lying. I mean honestly it's brilliant. I can't wait to see it!

'The Invention of Lying' Trailer

Here's a little clip from Extras:
Patrick Stewart on Extras
...and another
Robert De Niro In Extras
Okey, this is the last one. Honest.
Kate Winslet on Extras
And another.
Sir Ian Mckellen on Extras
This is one of my absolute favourites. I laugh so hard, it brings a completly new meaning to ROFL.

Here's something else that bightens my day, other than your mom.
Gervais and Elmo

P.S. I've recently discovered that certain shades of pink make me physically ill.

Do you have a special colour that make you want to blow chunks (
Pardon my french), or is that just my own personal weirdness?

Want to share your awkward?

2009-09-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

Nå skal jeg fortelle deg om dagens eventyr. Kommer det til å bli underholdende? Det skal du få avgjøre helt selv. Ettersom dagen begynte helt vanlig skal jeg starte innlegget med en helt vanlig begynnelse.

Det startet som en helt vanlig onsdag. Klokka 7 signaliserte mobilen at det var på tide å finne veien tilbake til virkeligheten. Jeg skal innrømme jeg var en smule motvillig, siden jeg drømte om Michael Jackson, men jo virkeligheten. Tøfler, all brain, aftenposten, colgate, buss 131, Bjørknes.

I min verden betyr onsdager kjemi, med professor morsom og biologi, med professor heit. Merk hvor flink jeg er til å skille mellom dagene. Etter kjemitimen tittet jeg raskt på timeplanen og så at neste time startet 16.55. Jeg hadde med andre ord fem hele timer til å pugge lekser. To kopper kaffe, fire kapitler og godt over 40 regnestykker senere og jeg var klar for Biologi, men først! En rask luftetur. Jeg begynte å gå ned trappene, rettelse jeg snublet ned trappene. Nei, jeg hadde ikke fått noe bedre kontroll over ledene min da det gjaldt å gå ut døren heller. Likevel var det deilig å stå ute i regnet, mens jeg ventet på at klokken skulle bli slagen. Så skjedde det jeg har en egen evne til å klare, en awkward samtale. Du skal få replikkene pluss litt indre dialog.
Høy fyr som røyker, "Nei! regner det"
Jeg har fremdeles ikke merket at han snakker til meg.
Høy fyr som røyker, "Det hadde jeg ikke regnet med"
Flinke meg ser humoren i det han sier og ler, en sånn 'hoho - den var god du' latter.
Han ser på meg som om jeg har rømt fra galehjemmet uten klær. Fint bilde ikke sant?
Jeg holdt på å forklare det morsomme ordspillet, men så nederlaget og latet som jeg ventet på noen. Da han var omringet av ukjente begynte jeg å snike meg forsiktig bort langs veggen. Vekk fra åstedet. Hvis du har sett Mission Impossible filmene, vet du nøyaktig hva jeg gjorde. Ja, i virkeligheten. I skolegården, mens alle så meg. I ettertanke kanskje ikke den lureste avgjørelsen.

Uansett var jeg endelige framme ved det trygge biologirommet. Går inn. Kjenner ikke ansiktene. Tar en sakte helomvending. Det innebar latter, ikke fra min side. Ser på timeplanen. Biologien skulle jo starte nå? Har vi byttet rom? Nei, jeg hadde forvekslet tirsdag og onsdag. Biologien var over for tre timer siden. Merk at jeg ikke klarte å skille mellom dagene. En bitter hendelse.

Så var dagen min like morsom for deg som den var for meg? Kanskje du har hatt en lignende dag? Kanskje du har lyst til å fortelle meg? Du har lyst til å fortelle meg. Du skal skrive det i kommentaren din. Nå.

TheGr3yZon3:
Sara Bareilles "Gravity"
Jeg hørte den på "So You Think You Can Dance", det var en utrolig fin dans.

I'm Burning

2009-09-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

Warning: Random ramblings of randomness

There's something I don't understand. Kissing, the whole concept of kissing completely eludes me. I mean it's a rather peculiar sign of affection. How did it even qualify to become such a sign? I understand touch, most people need the feel of another along their skin, somebody special who makes there skin crawl for all the right reasons. Blablabla... I don't really have that someone special so I like to confine myself in small places. Cosy right? Touch, a natural evolution of holding hands, but why were "they" holding hands in the first place? This is not anti-kissing propaganda, I can't stress that enough. Anyhoo kissing just seems strange to me.

How did it come to be? Was it simply the easiest way to shut someone up? Did somebody get bored while dancing the horizontal tango, and decide to shake things up? Maybe some sort of life-resuscitation gone array? What came first? The kiss of death, passionate kiss on the lips or a more friendly derivation? Keep in mind you have more germs in you mouth than any other place on you body.

Why do we feel the need to kiss? Is it because all the great stories tell us this is love? The complete and utter yearning for another set of lips to shaping themselves to yours. Personally I don't really think it's the kiss in itself, but rather the idea of having somebody to kiss that lures us in. That for just a moment your not necessarily alone in the world.

Love or lust, is there really a difference? You want something, you take it and then you hold on. Sounds like some crazy collector. Is love simply an unbalanced mix of chemicals or does something bigger have a part to play as well? Does love exist at all or have we created the idea? Statistically, most infatuations wither and die within half a year. Is that the deadline we have to create love? You win, you lose, you keep searching? The phrase soulmate comes to mind, is it simply an illusion created to make life worth living, something to distract us from the horrors of life? Or is it real? Were we complete beings until that fateful day when our souls in some way of another shattered and fell to earth? What if we never pick up the pieces. Do we go on incomplete, does it even matter?

The deeper one digs the more questions pop up. I guess the real question is if you believe in having a soul in general. When it comes to the matters of the soul your guess is as good as mine. I don't claim to understand it. There's an abundance of knowledge far from my grasp. However I refuse to believe we're nothing more than an empty parcel. Wondering aimlessly from A to B hoping we don't miss out on C. We're all different and unique versions of a mutated virus (if you believe in the Big Bang theory), and yet if all we were was a hard-wired machine we would all be the same. I mean does your computer really have a personal touch? There has to be something that sets us apart, divine of other. What if love is divine, and you never experience it because your heart is closed?

Michael Jackson - Puttin´ on the Ritz

La Toya & Michael - Night Time Lover

Kliseste Klisjer = Me Talking Air

2009-09-18T04:35:00.000-07:00

En klisjé er som skoene mine. Godt brukt. Noe som har skjedd eller blitt brukt så ofte at det har mistet sjarmen sin og blitt til gammelt vissvass.

Hvis det er slik en kjisje blir definert antyder det at jeg ja, selve livet mitt er en godt brukt klisje. For det første er jeg er en jente. Gudene vet hvor mange jenter som har levd oppgjennom menneskets historie. Jeg er en kvinnelig student. Hadde vi levd på 60-tallet ville det vært litt av et gjennombrudd, men desverre er dette ingen orginal idé i disse moderne dager. Jeg er en tenåring som ikke vet hvor hun skal. Kroppen min har ikke nok blodceller, til å telle hvor mange ganger dette har vært selve ryggraden i masseprodusert filmer fra Hollywood. Jeg har startet på Bjørknes, som jeg heller ikke er alene om. Det fins ikke en eneste ting jeg har gjort, som igjen andre har allerede gjennomgått og du kan banne på at noen har blogget om det klisjefylte livet sitt. Jeg prøver å være et orginalt individ og mener selv at jeg er en smule unik på min egen måte, ikke helt " Mamma, sier jeg er spesiell", mens jeg svømmer i sikkel. Heller spesiell på den måten at jeg har mine små geniale øyeblikk... Slik som alle andre. GAH! Begynner du å skjønne hvorfor jeg er oppgitt? Selvfølgelig kan man alltids argumentere med at ingen har gjort de samme handlingen nøyaktig slik som du. Til det løfter jeg et øyenbryn og ser stygt på deg. Detaljer er ubetydlig vissvass som kan og bør oversees. Hvor mange orginale tanker har du hatt opp til nå? Jeg mener i dette sekundet er det 6 milliarder mennesker på jordkloden, det betyr 6 milliarder tanker og handlinger. Fortell meg helt erlig at du fremdeles følger deg unik etter å ha tenkt over dette lille faktumet. Klarer du det?

Det sies også at ingen fingeravtrykk er like, men er det noen som har skjekket om dette er sant? Hva om det fins en fyr i Kina og en dame i Canada som har helt idenstiske fingeravtrykk? Hva om det har eksister noen før din tid? Vis meg reglen som sier at alle legger igjen ulik fettflekker. Vis meg statestikken. Riktig nok virker dette en smule merkelig å tenke over, tro meg det er nok til å bli ør i hodet av. Likevel er det litt merkelig å bygge opp en hel rettsak rundt noen fettsyrer som etterlates. Det jeg prøver å si er vel at DNA har bare så så mange kombinasjoner, hvis det eksisterer mennesker som ligner på hverandre utseendemessig, hvorfor ikke ligne på et miroskopisk nivå også? Tror du vitenskapsmenn verden rundt vrir seg i graven nå? For man skal alltid stole på vitenskapen... og religion... og mannen i tv'en som sier han har kontakt med Gud. Jaaa, jeg ser hvilken retning jeg holdt på å ta der. Delete delete.

I delete myself daily whooow! I couldn't help myself.

You who else can't help herself?

This was Merete and I approve this message.

Gjett hvilken sang jeg hørte på radio?

David Bowie - China Girl

David Bowie - Life On Mars?

David Bowie - As the world falls down
Selv etter tolv år er den filmen fremdeles en favoritt

There's such a sad love
Deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel
Open and closed within your eyes
I'll place the sky within your eyes

There's such a fooled heart
Beating so fast in search of new dreams
A love that will last within your heart
I'll place the moon within your heart

As the pain sweeps through
Makes no sense for you
Every thrill has gone
Wasn't too much fun at all
But I'll be there for you-oo-oo
As the world falls down
Falling
(As the world) Falling down
Falling in love

I'll paint you mornings of gold
I'll spin you Valentine evenings
Though we're strangers till now
We're choosing the path between the stars
I'll lay my love between the stars

Screw it!

2009-09-04T10:52:00.000-07:00

I hate school. Two more years & I'm done.

Det gikk nettopp opp for meg at jeg må ha vært høy da jeg skrev forrige innlegg... Jeg hater det faktumet at jeg må ta opp fag. Jeg vil mye heller spikket av hånda mi med en skje. Hvis jeg finner ut at legeyrket ikke er noe for meg, kommer jeg til å gå on a rampage. Itillegg er det en idiot som driver å sender meg fullstendig random meldinger og ringer meg konstant. Er jeg en magnet for freakshows eller er det bare meg? For jeg begynner seriøst å lure. Meh who cares I probably have swine flu anyways, and'll die in seven days. So guess I'll be seeing you where ever I end up or not.

Bitch bitch bitch. All I ever do is bitch and moan...

You know who else moans?

Yesterday I Got So Old

2009-09-02T11:52:00.000-07:00

PANG! Da var det igang. Idag var den tredje dagen på Bjørknes og jeg kan nå offisielt kalle meg elev... Igjen. Jeg mener privatist, en liten detalj de liker å påpeke annethvert sekund. Et annet lite faktum lærerne liker å smelle langs ansiktet er eksamen, som tross alt er rett rundt hjørnet. Eksamen, gross og gru. Jeg begynner å lure på om jeg vil klare det. Biologi er fullstendig nytt for meg og nå må jeg lære både i brede og dybde på 10 uker. For ikke å glemme en klar bekymring angående Norsk eksamen. Som Sandvika elev ble jeg godt kjent med data, som privatist må jeg tilbake til den trofaste blyanten, dårlig tid og alle krampene som følger. Joiemeg.

Hittil har jeg hatt tre veldig lange dager. Riktignok må det til, men jeg begynner å oppleve konsekvensene. Jeg glemte teater fullstendig og måtte løpe ned dit for å rekke den siste halvtimen og merker at matpakken min er altfor liten iforhold til det hjernen min skal gjennomgå. Heldigvis lærer man av feilene sine og jeg kommer nok inn i rytmen etterhvert. For jeg må innrømme at jeg syntes det er morsomt. Hele opplegget for meg kun til å glede meg desto mer til målet, nemlig medisin. Dere kan umulig si jeg ikke fortjener det etter den femårige planen jeg har fremfor meg. Alt i alt gleder jeg meg som BH'en til Pamala.

For jeg har egentlig ikke noe imot å dykke dypt ned i pensum, der av biologi boken, noe som er rimelig sjokkerende. Man kan trygt si at den mentale sperren som eksisterte tidligere har blitt slaktet fullstendig. Du skjønner jeg kunne ikke brydd meg mindre om hvordan planter overlever den brutale naturen. Heldigvis fokuserer pensum hakket mer på det mikroskopiske og mennesket anatomi og fysiologi. Itillegg er det det første faget som har gitt meg flere a-ha opplevelser og jeg begynner å se diverse sammenhenger. Hadde det bare ikke vært for de udødelige detaljene og all kunnskapen man må ha liggende løst på tungen.

... Men nå har jeg hatt en lang nok pause. Jeg må nok ta opp sverdet og stupe inn i språkdebatten atter en gang, for jeg nekter å gå glipp av Kathinka som modell.

Ciao!

TheGr3yZon3
Jeg har ikke mye plass til overs for annen musikk i hjerte mitt, men The Cure har en vel fortjent plass like bak den godest Jackson. Låtene deres har rett og slett sjel.

The Cure - In Between Days

Hi guys! Long time no see.

2009-08-30T07:17:00.000-07:00

Since it's been ages since my previous post I thought I'd try to catch you up my adventurous life. I recently hit the age of 19 and by recently I mean 15 days ago. Yay me! I'm now one year closer in becoming a stiff corpse slowly rotting away six feet below some pathetic little rock with my name engraved along with some sad tombstone poem. I'm sure I'll be greatly missed, seeing as I've made such a large indentation in the world's history... Let me just crawl back out from that god forsaken little rock. I spent this fantabulous day at home with my folks. To be more specific Dad didn't get home til 5 o'clock, mom left after making me breakfast in bed, and my brother meet up with us at the Chinese restaurant where we ate dinner, here's a freaky coinkidink the place is called Dinner. I love Chinese, but that restaurant has managed togo down a few notches. Don't get me wrong it's still a great place, it's just that it's lost it Chinese charm... Right, like I would know what that is...

Anyhoo (see I learn, you know you guys could have told me) I had a great time! My brother's hilarious and the gift were RIGHT up my alley. In case you're curious I was lucky enough to get a Michael Jackson t-shirt which I absolutely adore, “Milk” starring Sean Penn (I've watched it 5 times already), The Wall (which is just wickedly awesome), a Michael Jackson Biography (more accurately a description of some Norwegian dude's relationship to his music and career. I haven't been able to finish it yet for reasons I think are pretty frikin' obvious. I mean who wants to read about someone who has experience your wildest dreams. Too soon.) I also got THE Tom Waits album "Blue Valentine" yah it's pure perfection. His songs are like having sex in a haunted house, or I could imagine it's like that, you know what I mean?

In the upright corner you can see the wonderful locket Kathinka gave me.
If loving an object is wrong I don't want to be right!

You know a birthday just isn't the same without a party and yesterday was the big event. You know one last bash before all the seriousness kicks in. You see the future is getting awfully close, and that freaks me out therefore the creep-alitous birthday theme was "dress up as your biggest fear". As you all know I'm terrified by manikin. No not man bikini's but life-size dolls that come to life, and chop you into little pieces if you turn you back on them. Despite what my mom thinks, I haven't watched any horror flicks about “when dolls attacking”, Chuck can go "Brooke" himself. It all started after my first real nightmare. Yes a doll was very much involved, if you're lucky I might just tell you all about it. Now seeing as my biggest fear is being a complete failure at life, and disappointing everyone around me. I dressed up as a clown. Makes sense right? I figured it's a nice compromise since I have a porcelain doll, dressed as a clown, needless to say it scares the crack right out of me. Besides I'm not good with the abstract.

There were alot of brilliant ideas and amazing costumes, which only made it that much more difficult in choosing a winner. There were a few alcho slash bums, two gangsters from Rykkin (who took it to the max all night long), Death in all her glory, a failure (which I loved), a corporate suit, someone who had lost a part of himself (that's really deep), a monster, a biker (Neil Armstrong style I mean Lance... hoho only in the late hours), Elizabeth Bathory, the darkness (not the band), and the winner a bum slash rapist. She or I should say he never broke character once which in the end broke the tie. Personally I think it was a success, if you disagree please do make a formal complaint signed, sealed and stamped "I don't care". I didn't get to take any pictures but I'm gonna try to steal some off of someone who did. You know who you are. P.S. I also got some wicked cool gifts, so thanks alot I love them all. (Not that anyone actually reads my blog *whimpers in a sigh*)

Well now that I can check off my 19'th, I'll just throw some hard facts at yah! I am now the proud owner of a drivers licence, I got into medical, the Middle- East is at peace, and they just found a cure for cancer deep inside the rainforest. Okay here's the thing, I just lied. Wouldn't it be great if I didn't need to though? Guess the world really is an imperfect place. I'm still working on the driving thing, and unfortunately I didn't get into medical, instead I've enrolled into Bjørknes as an attempt in getting better grades. As for the Middle- East we all know or don't know what's going on over there, and the cure for cancer was just a movie I saw with my brother. I actually recommend it, two thumbs way up. The tittle is "Medicine Man" starring Sean Connery, seriously you should check it out.

I wonder how this school year's going to end. My classes are Biology 1 & 2, Norwegian, Chemistry 1, and social studies. Which I actually have high hopes for. I've always thought I've missed out on some vital information about how the world works, since I've only focused on numbers and molecular structures. Well not any more, society here I come. You know who else just came? I'm sorry I just can't help it, It's become an addiction I don't want to lose. I know you're probably sick of it by now, but tough!

You guessed it time for the knee-slaper of the day Two blondes walk into a bar, both seeming to be very happy. When the bartender asks them why they're smiling, the blondes simply reply "We just finished a 50 piece puzzle in three days"

"So?" The bartender asks still curious.

"The box said 8- 10 years"
Hohoho what a knee-slaper!

TheGr3yZon3:
John Frizzell - My Little Box

Time for alittle R&R, Random & Recommendations
I was doing some browsing in a little bookshop one day and stumbled over "Vampire Diaries" by L. J. Smith I think, and I was intrigued enough to read the short summery on the back. Of course I didn't buy any but they reminded me of Twilight. So for all you Twilight fans out there I would recommend that you read "The Vampire Diaries". It's just recently been adapted as well so the series must have a good following. Now before I start my normal rant about how lame these kinds of vampire stories are I figured I should probably read them first. I figure I should give it a shot before completely slaughter someone elses work. Don't worry I'll let you know what I think later.

And of course the biggest and most important change of all. My Sandy has come back to me. I feel like Rose flying in the breeze on the front of Titanic, without the horrible ending. Here's a alittle summer time memory

Oh, Blanche, Stop Blubbering.

2009-08-11T03:12:00.000-07:00

Jeg sitter her og tenker på slutt scenen til Grease.

FRENCHY Oh, look! Oh, the gang's together!

MARTY But, what are we gonna do after graduation?

JAN Yeah. Maybe we'll never see each other again.

DANNY Nah, that'll never happen.

-lånt fra http://uk.geocities.com/naturistgirl1984/28.txt

Jeg har alltid lurt på hva som skjer med karakterene videre når rolleteksten kommer. Blir Sandy og Danny gift? Hva skjer med French, kommer Rizzo og Kenickie til å vare? Hva skjer med gjengen nå som skolen, det som førte dem sammen, er over? Holder de kontakten eller er de egentlig så forskjellig at de vokser fra hverandre, nå som de ikke har en fellesnevner.

Uansett så har min personlige Sandy kommet inn på Tromsø og det fremkaller en fin blanding av følelser. Jeg er spent på hennes vegne, men Gud som jeg kommer til å savne å se henne hver dag. Alt vil forandre seg uten den lille sukkererten, men nå som jeg tenker over det har jo dagens samfunn lagt opp til lang distanse forhold. Istedenfor å vente en uke på et brev kan vi isteden plukke opp røret og taste nummeret. Jeg tror dette kommer til å bli et ganske så snasent kapittel. For ikke å glemme at dersom jeg blir klin kokos gal får jeg enda en grunn til å reise opp til den fremtidige psykologen vår. Vennerabatt er tingen.

Så da er det bare en siste ting å si...

A Womp Bom A Looma... A Womp Bam Boom!

We go together like ramma lamma lamma ka dingity ding de dong. Remembered forever as shoo-bop sha wadda wadda yippidy boom de boom. Chang chang changity chang shoo-bop that’s the way it should be.

Wa-ooh, yeah!

TheGr3yZon3

Grease - We Go Together

“I Was A Veteran, Before I Was A Teenager.”

2009-08-03T13:19:00.000-07:00

Idag klokken 7.30 ville alle drømmene mine gått i oppfyllelse. Det var nemlig idag at jeg skulle endelig få bruke “The Golden Ticket” og slippe inn i verden til Michael Jackson. Dessverre vet vi alle hvordan det kapittelet ble omskrevet.

Likevel bestemte jeg at idag skulle være dedikert til engelen min, dermed så jeg på “Dangerous Tour” og “Moonwalker”, istedenfor å være en del av “This Is It”. Hver gang jeg ser på de dvd'ene får jeg rett og slett pustevansker. Hjertet mitt stopper bare jeg ser et bilde av han, tenk hva som skjer når han begynner å synge. Derfor er jeg rimelig sikker på at jeg hadde vært en av de som besvimer og må bæres vekk fra åstedet. Etter den private konserten var ferdig, tok jeg turen til Sandvika og kjøpte en konsert t-skjorte. Hva jeg ikke hadde gitt...

The Red Zone
Michael Jackson - One More Chance

“If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.”

- Michael Jackson

It's A Hang- Up Not A Break- Up

2009-08-02T07:29:00.000-07:00

It actually irritates the hell out of me, when people try to add an extra bit of information on the phone, after you've said good-bye. (I actually do this all the time, so I'm not entirely sure if that makes me a hypocrite or a bigot.) You've just said good-bye and while you're lowering the phone, so to press the little red button, you hear a low mumble. Now you're left with two options, annoying as they are.

A. You just ignore it, they would have called back if it was life or death. Of course I feel rotten afterwards. I mean what if it was important, but can't call back themselves? (Speaking from personal experience Merete? ... Yes... *breaks eye contact* My blog really should be a vlog, I suck at writing...)
B. Call the person back, (something I'm guilty of doing, much to others annoyance).
You see where the problem lies? You never really want to call back and say it again, because then you'd be a complete moron if the person says " Yeah I know.. Heard you the first time..." Aaaawkwaaard....

Nevertheless I do understand the need to throw incoherent rubbish over the “line”. From personal experience, the brain doesn't really kick in until you're on the clock. (One fry short of a happy-meal I'm afraid) You could be having an ordinary conversation, and then right before the hang-up you suddenly remember something of the utmost importance. Your blood pores through your veins, your heart jumps, and your voice automatically gets louder, in hopes that they'll hear you out. (As if screaming will help further your cause) Naturally you get cut of in mid-sentence. Which by the way is a completely awful experience, that I've become quite accustomed too.

Damnation!

What do you do? A or B? Perhaps C. You ignore it, then casually call them back after a sensible time has passed? I did that this morning when mom called home. Everything she said was a blur, I don't even think I said good-bye before heading back to bed. Which really is worse, and something I hate even more. Because then you're left with the same options.
A. Calling them back. What if the phone cut out?
Or B. Ignoring it.
I mean maybe it's just me and I'm unusually insecure, but I do prefer finishing the chat properly. So I don't keep questioning myself. “Damn, what if they weren't done. Call back? No that's just stupid... I'll do it later.” Even though it happens all the time on T.V. And really isn't such a big deal. I guess it's just common curtsey to say good- bye, so you know it's over. I don't know maybe I'm overthinking it, or not thinking enough. Honestly I feel really pathetic because retarded as I am, I do say “But you didn't say good-bye”.

Still I wonder who many unfinished conversations there are? It's like you can't properly die until you've said good-bye. Aaand now that I drove into a graveyard, and left my post to die. I can't find anything else to say. Other than if you're going to Sandvika, meet me there this friday at the The cinema. I'll be in the back row of the morning session of "Public Enemies". I'll be wearing a fedora cap, overcoat, fake moustache and holding a brown paper bag. Sit on my left(MY left, don't get confused if you are facing me and not the screen thinking which left?) and say "The breeze is most refreshing today" and I will reply "Only as the gulls circle overhead". That way you will know it's me.

... I'm sorry, I've been locked up for WAY to long. Loneliness doesn't suit me well...

TheGr3yZon3 I really should find something better any suggestions?
Bert and Ernie – Bananaphone
I love those two.

P.S. I just realized I wrote four posts yesterday. What the hell is wrong with me? I really need to get a life. Pronto!

Commenting Comments

2009-08-01T14:47:00.000-07:00

Jeg tenker det er nødvendig å forklare mitt lille personlige angrep på Twilight. Først og fremst tok jeg i ganske grundig på grunn av selve innlegget. Det var rett og slett ''too tempting not to go the whole extra mile''. Jeg mente det var den perfekte starten for innlegget, i ettertanke var det en smule mislykket skråstrek ironisk. Ettersom jeg skrev noe som skulle være en slem spøk, men som egentlig skulle være alvor (som tilfeldig nok var temaet til innlegget). Likevel er det her planen går opp i flammer, nemlig fordi jeg ikke mente det. Så jeg forstår om det oppsto forvirring. You know what I'm saying? A serious mouthful. Så annet enn at jeg liker Anna Rice sin verden bedre. Syntes jeg Twilight er underholdende, slik som så mye annet.

Jeg har med andre ord postet en del ting på bloggen min som burde forklares. Dessverre orker jeg ikke ta fatt i det. Hvis du føler deg truffet, må jeg si du sårer meg. For tross alt så er det ikke et personlig angrep, det er generell underholdning.

So If you'll excuse me I shall now attempt to complete a "Lord of the Rings" marathon - Special Edition.

Jeg vet ikke hva som skjer, men det meste jeg skriver virker aggresivt.

It's an accomplishment, much like your mom.

Booyah!

TheGr3yZon3
Michael McDonald - I Heard It Through The Grapevine

He laid her on the table, so white, clean and bare. His forehead wet with beads of sweat, he rubbed her here and there. He touched her neck and felt her breast, then drooling felt her thigh. The slit was good, all was set, he gave a joyous cry. The whole was wide... He looked inside, all was dark and murky. His rubbed his hands and stretched his arms... Then stuffed the Christmas turkey.

Times Are A' Changin'

2009-08-01T10:48:00.000-07:00

I was watching "House of D", which is a completely awesome movie. Thanks for asking. Memo to self get a copy. But I realized a lot's changed in a short period of time. Most importantly I've entered the world! No... When I came out, the nurse actually screamed "Put it back!"

Any way... In the movie Pappass, played by Robin Williams my favorittest actor in the world says "I'm not retarded any more, I went from a retard to challenged. Who knows what I'll be next?" This is when it hit me, high five right in the face. The world is a living, breathing organism that is evolving right under our feet. Some changes happen quickly, these being the most uncomfortable and the ones when we feel it necessary to rebel. However most changes happen over time, and rarely do we ever notice them until we're sitting on a floating porch sipping acid out of a can saying, "Things were better before". Yes, you to will become one of those people. A grumpy old man or woman who complains about the fast pace, because you're to slow to hang on. Only it'll be some sci-fi version of you grandparents. I can't wait! Speaking of sci-fi, did you know that if it hadn't been for Star Trek the microwave wouldn't have existed, along with a whole bunch of other gadgets? Discovery channel doesn't lie, babe.

Where was I?

Evolving planet... Fast pace... Right! I don't like it.

Change is not something I like. Evolution go for it! There's just something about change that rubs me belly the wrong way. That's a weird saying, just stay away from my belly. It's never been the same after I saw Fat Bastard say, "Get in my belly!" Shivers down my spine. Since I don't want this to be yet another post where I complain about change I'm going to stop and start over with my original plan.

The most irritating change I noticed is that people have begun to change classic childhood memories, because they seem racist. So what, Astrid Lindgren wrote about "negerkonger, hottentotter og hvite prinsesser", it's called entertainment, and if you had any sense at all you would understand that. Censoring the childhood of generations should be illegal. In this day and age people should know better than to go around and change literature. Take a quick look at Korea, and you'll see the direction we're headed in.

Even though this debate began along time ago it feels as if they shoke thing up and left it all up in the air. I mean is "Tintin in Kongo" really that racist? I would rather say it shows a naive attitude towards a fairly unknown culture, at that specific time and place. I'd love to hear your thought!

There you have it. Change, not always our ally.

We should be protecting books not ravaging them. By the way you should also be protecting yourself. Unless you want a child that looks like me...
But seriously, if you can't find some, look at the top of your mom's draw. That's were I leave mine.

TheGr3yZon3
House of D (2004) Trailer

Sorry one last thing before you can go. I like that what used to be called stalking is now called social networking... Ah! How the times have changed. You see that's a change in a positive direction. Atleast for me any way...

Epic Fail

2009-08-01T09:58:00.001-07:00

Jeg merket at de fleste innleggene mine er ekstremt lange, det må jeg bare beklage. Jeg vet hvor jævlig det er å måtte pløye seg gjennom en lang liste som aldri tar slutt. For ikke å glemme at innleggene er på engelsk, samtidig som språket har blitt en smule mer løsslupent. Agian I'm sorry if you don't freakin' like it.

Jeg så meg nødt til å dele denne lille klippen med dere skråstrek deg. Tårene renner og jeg ler så det gjøre vondt, hver gang jeg ser den.
Hver.
Gang.

Courage Fail

Det som er interessant er at jeg ville reagert på samme måte. So more power to yah man!
Something else that make me really happy is this next clip right here:

Best John Mayer Fan Ever

The song is perfect if you ask me... Not that you did... How do they find him.

It's just too good. You know who else is too good...

TheGr3yZon3
Barenaked Ladies - In The Car
Sorry, fant ikke no bedre version.

A suicide bomber storms into a petshop and declares, "You have thirty seconds to leave before I blow this whole place up!"The tortoise at the back of the shop, "You bastard..."

... Too soon?

P.S. Do you think Sculpture is a dirty word? It sounds dirty... I feel slightly violated.

I'm Teething What's Your Excuse?

2009-08-01T05:12:00.000-07:00

Yes at an age of 18. Very attractive, fully devolved my ass. Seriously I'm actually chewing on anything and everything I find, so to speed up the process, much like a dog. I guess I'll have to get my wisdom teeth removed pretty soon, but I'm holding it off cause it's probably going to hurt like Santa in a speedo. Still it'll probably hurt less than watching Twilight... Only kidding. But seriously the actors in that movie really sucked. I only like Kristen Stewart because she played the daughter in “Panic Room”. I loved that movie. I'm sorry if you're a fan, it had it's moments but not my cup of tea. LOL
“Say it!”
“Vampire”... Edward you couldn't be a vampire even if you tried. Lestat and Armand now we're talking vampires. The kind who actually die in agony when introduced to sunlight. Instead of turning into a “smouldering” diamond. I swear Meyer has some sort of sick fetish with that word. By the way Emma Frost does it better. Just kidding... Not really.

This actually opens up for today's topic...

There are two phrases I have a serious problem with; “Just Kidding” and “LOL”. Because it allows people to say the most ass- whole things, as long as they follow it up with a LOL. Such as... Cloe- "You're laugh IRL is so annoying... LOL" Sam- " 'You're' is for 'You are' as in you're a dickhead who can't spell... LOL" I'm feeling the love. Is it just me or do you also feel like vomiting everytime you hear slash read “lol”? Anyway back to the point. You never really know if the person actually means what they say, and are to much of a wuss to say it loud and proud. Or if they're only poking fun.

Personally I've never said “lol” but I do say “just kidding”. I do it all the time, without meaning anything of it. However lately I've realized there's a thin line between funny sarcasm and a cruel joke. You see for me “lol” is about as convincing as just kidding... Not really. It's like "Hey Merete, no one in our group likes you... just kidding" My internal dialogue thinks "It's true, it's so true. Nobody likes me." When using “just kidding” there's this line that should never be crossed, and that line depends on the person you're with and how well you both know each other. If you're really good friends you could get away with a lot of crap. Maybe ''get away with'' is the wrong word...s, but you could joke about almost anything and they would know you're not serious. Yet, if you tell a stranger the same thing you're most likely to get smack up the head or shot, depending on the nature of that person. A little tip, don't make fun of somebody with priors. That been say I think I'm going to check myself into, “Rehab - For Those Who think They're Funny”. Somethings are okay to joke about, whilst others can be interpreted as inhuman, and I keep forgetting, I'm not that one who chooses what's a good laugh.

... and just to clear thing up, I didn't slap you I high fived you face.
You know who else likes it in her face...

TheGr3yZon3
Falco - Rock Me Amadeus

There's a blonde and a brunette in a bar. They're watching the news with a man who's about to jump off a building. The brunette goes to the blond, “I bet you 50 he jumps.” The blonde says okay. He jumps, the blonde pulls out her wallet but the brunette says, " No, I can't take this money I saw the clip a earlier ago, I knew he was going to jump" and the blond goes, "Yeah, ME too but I never thought he'd do it again."

P.S. You might remember I asked for a hot non-hot line in a previous post. Just some line in a movie that's a little suggestive but unintentionally. Well I was watching “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” (the original, just had to point that out since I like it better) last night and I stumbled over something Violet says while chewing on the three-course gum, "It's hot and creamy. I can actually feel it running down my throat" I'm sure you can...

I'm sorry that's very inappropriate... Which is good because I'm about to be inappropriate with...

What Rihanna Really Meant To Say...

2009-07-31T11:04:00.000-07:00

Please bear with me. I don't have a vioce cut out for singing. Just wanted to share a thought that really is best shown through song. Cheers!

"Unfaithful"... The real version.

And he know that I knows he's unfaithful
And it kills me inside
To know that he is happy with some other guy
I can hear them laughing

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime he walks out the door
I see my body hit him with a bat
I just wanna strangle him to death
I just wanna take away his life
I am gonna be...
A murderer

I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for his final day
A kiss upon he cheek
As he reluctantly
Begins to beg for his life
I say it won't take long
His hangin' by a thread
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
What I'm about to do
And he knows it very well

And he know that I knows he's unfaithful
And it kills me inside
To know that he is happy with some other guy
I can hear them laughing

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime he walks out the door
I see my body hit him wit ha bat
I just wanna strangle him to death
I just wanna take away his life
I am gonna be...
A murderer

TheGr3yZon3
Rihanna - Unfaithful

A female officer arrests a man for drunk driving. The female officer tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you" The drunk replies "Tits!"

Why I Don't Need To See "The Dentist"

2009-07-31T09:14:00.000-07:00

BTW I'm begining to get the hang of these hip acro's The Dentist is a horror slash thriller movie from 1996 "Dr. Feinstone has everything, a beautiful wife and a successful career in dentistry; but when he discovers his wife's affair, he realizes that behind every clean, white surface lies the stench of decay. Having gone insane, he enacts cruel dental torture on his patients." Extract from imdb.com I love that site.

It's not enough that the dental office looks like a tortur chamber, I mean that in it self is pretty damn scary. But those stupid dentists actually insist on having a conversation, when you're mouth is full of cotton and you're literally floating on painkillers. Why didn't you just ask me earlier! You stupid cow... Sorry. It's like some sick joke they have. Like they were bullied in school and this is their little revenge on the world. I get that they have to ask you certain things, like "Does this hurt?" but if the topic go beyond that I get royally aggravated!

Don't ask me about my vacation when all I can say is "hummengr*drool* hgung" at the same time being scared you're going to drill into my tongue. Which is another thing. I'm always horrified that he or she, Yeah that right I am somewhat or a dentist whore. I swing both ways! *winks* is going to slip-up and drill into my tongue or worse. Is that insane or justified? I'd like to "hear" your thought.

Anyway. Instead of having to answer there should just be a kind of sign language. They'll say "Blink if this hurts" and you start having eye-spasms because she's drilling into you flesh. That actually happened to me, the drilling into my flesh part anyway. I always get those who are fresh out of college and look young enough to play Kaitlin in the first season of the O.C.

I really do hate going to the dentist, mostly because I get these weird shiver every time I hear some sort of ghastly noise. This also bringing on a fear of being seriously injured because of my wacked- up shivers. I'm also afraid to swallow, while their doing there thing. Don't! I'm aware of how pervy that sounds... I mean, l like to swallow when the saliva is ganging up on me. Don't we all. Yet, it's like I'm paralysed by the fear of getting hurt. So I just lie there... on my back *wink* hoping for it all to be over soon. Much like my first time.. Kidding! A trip to the dentist really does sound like a bad porno... So I'll just stop now.

You know who doesn't stop? Your mom.

TheGr3yZon3

The Jackson Five - I want you back /ABC

I just adore the whole setup, the spin in the beginning Hoo!

P.S. I just want to share this joke, it really made me laugh.

A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her first name. the wife was amused at first. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband's description, "mother of six, get me a beer!" This type of situation rose to a boiling point. Finally, while at a party with her husband, he jokingly said, "Hey mother of six, it's time to go!" the wife replied, "I'll be right there father of four"

The Lift Doesn't Quite Reach the Top Floor

2009-07-30T10:37:00.000-07:00

Let's address today's WORLD EPIDMIC, and yes I mean today because who knows what tomorrows big new fear will be. It feels like only yesterday people were getting ready to die because of SARS. Then the apocalypses hit home with bird flu, and today we have Swine Flu. Which is a cocktail of three main ingredients. Take one part bird flu, one part pigs flu, mix it with a sick person and let it simmer in the world news.

Face it! You. Love. To. Be. Scared.

I'm not saying it's something to laugh about, but the misinformed hype and the people who are contributing to it most defiantly are a joke. The media loves to freak people out, it drives sales through the roof and fills their pockets. Keeping people watching, reading and wanting more.

Don't freak out. Not everyone who sneezes has swine flue. (Although I am guilty of stepping back a few meters when someone's nose is running away.)

I should tell you though. I'm the kind of person who'll watch a documentary about some illness and start to experience the exact symptoms. I convince myself that I have that specific illness.
Are you experiencing chills? Sore throat, muscle pains, couching, weakness in general? Does you're head ace? If so you are going to die. By the way these are the exact symptoms for swine flu, feeling a little under the weather?

As you all know my family and I had planned a trip to London. Unfortunately because of the media coverage mom got seriously scared and they ended up delaying the trip til' after Christmas! ImCO!

Speaking of sick people, you know those medical dramas where the patients are dying and the doctors are being horribly understanding, and there's an extreme emotional bondage? My question is where do they find these doctors? I don't know about you guys, but when I go to the hospital I hardly feel like I'm in a medical drama. I feels like they threw me in a film with a slit down my back so you can see my ass, screaming “Do you do drugs!” I've never been to the hospital, with two exceptions. Birth and after some guy from school dislocated my shoulder... Yeah he beat me up with his pokemon pencilcase. *Shakes head* No, he just fell on top of me in gym class. Unfortunately he wasn't trying to get with me. He was just tying to get off me. Very intense. Go figure.

Speaking of intense I saw Star Trek and it was awesome! Spock and I have always had something special but now it finally official. We're meant to be together it's just the way it is.

I liked the way they took it and made it their own. Even though the whole time travel thing always gets a little sketchy. It was what made it all work in the end, so snaps for them. Amittedly I was slightly disturbed in the beginning. I was scared that Spock and Kirk wouldn't be having that special little relationship they've always had. Of course it's nothing compared to what I have with Spock. (It never is...*Moves on to avoid the awkwardness*)

I really did like the movie though, and they even made it possible to start over with a new series of Star Trek movies. So I'm very excited about that. Oh seriously! The hottest non-hot line in that movie is where she says "I'm going to be monitoring your frequencies." and I'm like Hoo! *Uses hand as fan* I have to see it again.

If you have a hot non-hot line from a movie, please do share it with me! Because I love that stuff.

... And remember you may not have swine flu, but you sure as hell got the fiiiine flue. *Winks*

Catch you on the flip-side.

TheGr3yZon3
I have no clue... Sorry! Yeah, I know cause you really want to spend your time listening to my crap. Just go listen to you own heathen music...

Btw your mom is like a facebook app, everyone tries it once but deletes it beacuse its just too embarrassing to let anyone know you did.

Take my hand

2009-07-30T04:32:00.000-07:00

It's the 80's, Setting: Dublin, Plot: The worlds hardest- workin' band.

"I'd like to introduce you to the hardest-workin' band in the world. On bass, Derek "Meatman" Scully. On piano, Steven "Soul Surgeon" Clifford. Dean "Mr Nipple" Fay on sax. Joey "The Lips" Fagan on trumpet. Our gorgeous chanteuses are Bernie, Imelda, and Natalie. Deco "Deep Throat" Cuffe on vocals. On lead guitar, Outspan "Fender bender" Foster. Finally, on drums, Mickah "Don't Fuck With Me" Wallace. Ladies and gentlemen, The Commitments."

In 1987 Roddy Doyle wrote a tale about an unemployed group of young north side Dubliners (If that's a word). Who started a band, not just any band at that they would be playing soul. In 1991 he's debut novel was adapted to the silver screen. "Do you not get it, lads? The Irish are the blacks of Europe. And Dubliners are the blacks of Ireland. And the Northside Dubliners are the blacks of Dublin. So say it once, say it loud: I'm black and I'm proud."

Jimmy Rabbitte brings the group together with a simple vision of bringing soul to Dublin. He puts together a very unlikely band of musicians who somehow manages to make music that touches the audience. "Soul is the music people understand. Sure it's basic and it's simple. But it's something else 'cause, 'cause, 'cause it's honest, that's it. Its honest. There's no fuckin' bullshit. It sticks its neck out and says it straight from the heart. Sure there's a lot of different music you can get off on but soul is more than that. It takes you somewhere else. It grabs you by the balls and lifts you above the shite." As the band nears its big break, ego's clash and expectations of fame and fortune starts to tear them apart. This forcing Jimmy to fight desperately to keep them together.

The commitments bubbles over with a life provided by a young and mostly unknown cast. They're atleast unknown to me, but that's part of what gives the film its charm. The film also crackles along with a music that takes a hold and shakes you til' you beg for more. We're talking 60's soul. At the end of the film you find you're self searching for more of those magical tunes, I know I did. Besides nothing can really beat the rough Dublin language.

TheGr3yZon3
The Commitments - Dark end of the Street, originally preformed by James Carr

Writing Nonsense

2009-07-29T05:09:00.000-07:00

Okay so very recently, about 2 minutes ago I stumbled across this fine mix of letters lmao, and embarrassed as I am, I'm utterly clueless as to what this means. I realize that acronyms are supposed to be a nice quick way of jotting down your thoughts and comments, however not for the person (ME) who has never in her life seen them, let alone taken the time to remember them all. I use maybe a whole five minutes extra on the internet because of this. Trying to decipher the evil little codes, such as SO and NRN.

In the end I just gave up and made my own definitions. NRN= Nerd ran North, SO= Sort Of. Oh boy was I wrong! It really stands for No Reply Necessary, and Significant Other. imCO! That's short for I mean COME ON! See I know you're lingo, I'm hip to the pip. But honestly if you don't have the time to write significant other. That person really isn't that significant. (Break it off. I'm just saying...) So next time you're about to use an abbreviation, please think of the poor bastard who's going to be sitting there with his or her head up their ars.

Here's a little dictionary I put together. they really should sell these things. Of course no one would bother buying it now that it's on my blog. Beat yah to it again. *Stickin' it to the man*

AFAIK =» As Far As I Know
AFK =» Away From Keyboard
ASAP =» As Soon As Possible
BAS =» Big A$$ Smile (I little sensorship never really hurt anyone...)
BEG =» Big Evil Grin
BF =» Boyfriend
BFF =» Best Friends Forever (do you see what a little typo could do to your baby boo or friend? awkward...)
BRB =» Be Right Back
BTW =» By The Way
CRBT =» Crying Real Big Tears (and for you emo's out there, CRBTOB =» Crying Real Big Tears of blood)
DLTBBB =» Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite
FTBOMH =» From The Bottom Of My Heart
FYI =» For Your Information
FWIW =» For What It's Worth
GAL =» Get A Life
GMTA =» Great Minds Think Alike
IMNSHO =» In My Not So Humble Opinion
IOW =» In Other Words
IRL =» In Real Life
LOL =» Laugh Out Loud
LSHMBB =» Laughing So Hard My Belly is Bouncing
LSHTTARDML =» Laughing So Hard The Tears Are Running Down My Leg (that was INSANLY LONG)
LTNS =» Long Time No See
LTS =» Laughing To Self
LUWAMH =» Love You With All My Heart
MTF =» More To Follow
NRN =» No Reply Necessary
OTTOMH =» Off The Top of My Head
PDS =» Please Don't Shoot ('cause you really need to WRITE that down.)
QT =» Cutie
ROFL =» Rolling On Floor Laughing
ROFLMAO =» ROFL My A$$ Off
ROFLMAOAY =» ROFLMAO At You
ROFLMAOWTIME =» ROFLMAO With Tears In My Eyes (I think people are just having fun with it...)
ROFLUTSROFL =» Unable to Speak that's jut wrong....
RTFM =» Read The F****** Manual!
SHID =» Slaps Head In Disgust
SO =» Significant Other
TGIF =» Thank God It's Friday
TOY =» Thinking Of You
WB =» Welcome Back

Hopes this helped you as much as it helped me, gotta stay in touch with the youngin's.

Are you having trouble with the nice word? Do they look like a big cluster of letters to you? Well lucky for you I have decided to take the time to translate them into a more understandable... language.

OSVR, A2MAISATFMOLLMAO, AEATA, IUCATWTM. IRTAASTBANQWOJDYTAC, HNFTP(M)WHNIHLST, LATTTTRTA. IUMAWFMEOTIBOT. TTDTELC, SASOANRN. ITEIJGUAMMOD. NRN=NRN, SO=SO. OBWIW! IRSFNRN, ASO. IMCO! TSFIMCO! SIKYL, IHTTP, BHIYDHTTTWSO. TPRITS.(BIF. IJS...) SNTYATUAA, PTOTPBWGTBSTWHOHHUIA.

Sorry just proving a point. By the way... I was almost done before I realized my pinky was holding down Shift... I figured “Well I've come this far...” and kept at it. Caps lock is utterly useless! We should just throw it away. Still the reason I don't is much like why I collect loose screws and what not. I think this came from somewhere important and I should hold on to it.
Any way... Key stoke this key stoke that. I stoke my keys daily... God that was perverted.

... and to think this little outburst started over a few letters.

TheGr3yZon3
Weird Al Yankovic - Pretty Fly For A Rabbi

He can stoke my keys any day of the week, maybe not...

But seriously you know who does stokes my keys? Your mom.

Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!

2009-07-27T01:23:00.000-07:00

Det har snart gått en hel måned siden jeg sist fikk ånden over meg og blogget. Riktig nok kan det være pga mine to dungeon masters, som har holdt meg innelåst på hytta. I guess we'll never know. They almost broke me! Heldigvis, fikk jeg fresh blood, da Kathinka tok den tradisjonelle turen. Captivity really ain't that bad, with such company. Det er nemlig her dagens tema kommer rækan på ei fjøl. Det hele startet da jeg fikk bursdags gaven min på forskudd skjønner du.

*Kremt* Drum roll please!

Tim Burton's: The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy OG! verdens mest fantastiske lille "skapning" på denne jord, en Alice in Wonderland locket featuring.... The White Rabbit på forsiden. En gjenstand som jeg forøvrig har på meg this very moment. Det er vanskelig å finne ord som uttrykker en så perfekt gave. *Pause to catch breath*

Staring girl
I once knew a girl
who would just stand there and stare.
At anyone or anything.

she seemed not to care.

She'd stare at the ground,
She'd stare at the sky.
She'd stare at you for hours,

and you'd never know why.

But after winning the local staring contest,
she finally gave her eyesa well-deserved rest.

Dere har kanskje alt skjønt hva dette innlegget vil basere seg på, men for de av dere som er like treg som meg i oppfatningen... He he, skal jeg nå sende av gårde overskriften.
Tim Burton sin adapsjon av Alice in Wonderland, skrevet av Lewis Carrol, a man after my own heart.

Som kjent har Tim Burton en egen evne til å lage særegne og visuelle orgasmiske filmer, som renner over av hans helt forvridde stil, der seeren (ihvertfall jeg) krever mer. "It's kind of a mixture of some distorted live action and animation. I can't relate it to anything because I'm not sure what to relate it to. It's kind of new territory for me.", sa Tim Burton til Disneys D23 Magazine. I just got goosebump! How about you? Boken er temmelig mørk fra før og etter den har fått den gotiske behandlingen kun Butron kan gi, tenker jeg publikum vil gi seg fullstendig over. Mine kilder sier at filmen skal på en måte fortsette, istedenfor å gjenta. Altså vil handlingen vike fra den originale versjonen som ligger dypt i mitt hjerte, noe jeg anser som positivt for filmen. Tim Burtons versjon vil være en blanding av de to bøkene, "Alice in Wonderland" & "Through the Looking Glass", der Alice vender tilbake til Wonderland som tenåring, noe som gir Burton rimelig frie tøyler. Jeg er helt sikker på at han kommer til å ta Wonderland tre hakk lenger inn i crazytown, and I can't wait! Det er den perfekte filmen for han, en mørk og detaljert historie med fullstendig sinnsyke figurer.

Det er en australsk skuespiller ved navnet Mia Wasikowska (er det bare jeg som har problemer med etternavnet?) som spiller Alice, et relativt nytt ansikt som jeg tror virkelig vil fange Alice sin uskyldighet, mest fordi hun ikke er blitt ødelagt av Hollywood. Helena Bonham Carter spiller The Red Queen, mens Anne Hathaway spiller The White Queen. I think it'll be interresting to see the two play off one another, don't you? Crispin Glover, endelig får jeg sett han igjen, spiller The Knave of Hearts, Alan Rickman er The Caterpiller, noe jeg gleder meg til å både se og høre. Jeg tror nemlig stemmen hans passer utmerket til den rollen, men hva er vel en Tim Burton film uten hans perfekte makker? Selvfølgelig vil Johnny Depp spille The Mad Hatter. Jeg hadde ganske blandet følelser om dette lille faktumet, siden den gale hattemakeren er en av mine personlige favoritt figurer. Så naturligvis var jeg en smule bekymret for at Johnny-boy skulle ta i for hardt og ødelegge mon chér. Heldigvis! skjønte jeg at min paranoia var unødvendig, etter å ha sett traileren. Jeg er rett og slett flau over at jeg idet hele tatt var i tvil.

Det eneste problemet er at filmen kommer ut 12 mars 2010... Ikke nok med at jeg har ventet godt over ett helt år på denne filmen, jeg må hold nervene i sjakk et år til... Do me a favour, knock me out cold and wake me on the 12th.

TheGreyZon3
Alice in Wonderland Official Trailer

I Just Can't Stop Loving You

2009-06-29T06:39:00.001-07:00

Jeg har nå sittet klistret foran tv-skjermen, hamstret aviser og vært med på å angripe Google i håp om å bedre forstå hva som har skjedd. Kanskje nyhetene vil synke inn etter hvert. Tilslutt ble det for mye og jeg måtte rett og slett skru av. Verden har blitt litt kaldere, litt kjedeligere og litt mer livløs. Michael Jackson har levd et liv i sentrum av søkelyset og det er ikke noe annerledes nå heller. Kameraene peker fremdeles i hans retning og journalistene leter panisk etter nyheter. Jeg har fått med meg alt som er av spekulasjoner, myter, og løyn. Nå som vi har mistet sannheten er det påtide å slå til med alt av bidrag. Det er virkelig en "interessant" versjon de velger å sette i gang. Narkotika misbruk, seksuallegning og mistanke er nøyaktig det som trengs for å drive gjerrigheten videre. Å la ryktene ligge er selvfølgelig for mye å forlange, nå er det påtide å dra han ned atter en gang. Simpeltent fordi de ikke skjønner hvordan en person kan ha stemmen til en engel og samtidig helt umenneskelige bevegelser.

Musikken til Michael Jackson overgår alle grenser, som danser trosset han tyngdekraften og hadde et så grasiøst dansetrinn at det fikk tildelt navnet "the Moonwalk". Han har en stemme som er lys men sterk, et rytmisk instrument som kunne gå fra søt og følsom til røf og brutal på korte sekunder. Jackson var en pioner ikke bare innenfor musikk, men også når det gjaldt musikkvideoer og dansing. Med sangen "Beat It" visket han ut svart-hvitt skillen hos MTV og gjorde det mulig for pop-sjangeren å eksistere. Det har blitt hevdet at diverse svarte musikere ikke hadde eksistert uten hans hjelp, for eksempel Beyoncé og Aaliyah. Det var i videoene han lagde utallige egne kreasjoner som fantasi figurer. Han har vært en zoombie I "Thriller". En gjeng medlem I "Bad" og "Beat It", der mange latterliggjorde ideen at et så skjørt vesen kunne vifte rundt med en foldekniv, men danset på en så voldelig måte at publikum fort ble overbevist. I "Billie Jean" var han en light trailing Alien. Han spilte en magisk ånd i "Remember the Time" og en astronaut i "Scream", sammen med søsteren sin Janet, som tilfeldigvis også er verdens dyreste musikk video. For ikke å glemme det velkjente dansetrinne i kortfilmen "Moonwalker", eller den mer kjente sangen "Smooth Criminal" som er praktisktalt umulig og knuser Newtons gravitasjonslov. La oss heller ikke glemme de fantastiske balladene Earth Song, You Are Not Alone og Stranger in Mosow for å nevne noen få.

Jackson har skrevet seg inn i muskkhistorien på en slik måte som ingen andre greier å etterligne. Med et enormt platesalg på mer en 750 millioner albumer verden over. 13 grammy awards, derav 8 for Thriller albumet, 13 number one singels og har utallige Guinness World Records. Hans musikk har påvirket Hip Hop, Pop og R&B artister og har en "unparalleled" innvirkning over den yngre generasjonen gjennom hans musikalske og humanitære bidrag. Vi har mistet et musikalsk geni, som mange har valgt og sammeligne med Elvis Presley, men sannheten er at Michael Jackson er større enn et rock icon fra 80-tallet. Dette påvirker alle, men forandrer ingenting. Han er og vil alltid være The King of Pop. Vi kan bare håpe at han endelig har fått den freden vi aldri kunne gi han.

"Magic is easy if you put you heart into it."

- Michael Jackson

TheR3dZon3:

Michael Jackson - Childhood

Dysphoria

2009-06-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

"Gone Too Soon"

Like A Comet

Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky

Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow

Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye

Gone Too Soon

Shiny And Sparkly

And Splendidly Bright

Here One Day

Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight

On A Cloudy Afternoon

Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach

Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower

That Is Just Beyond Your Reach

Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight

Here One Day

Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon

Gone Too Soon

Kort & Konstant

2009-06-21T14:56:00.000-07:00

I have just resently aquired a pair of the worlds coolest (if that's a word), most adorable slippers known to man. So feast your eyes on these little beauties!

Blogger greide å snu bildet. I didn't know it could do that. Impressive.

Yes, yes. They are mushrooms from Super Mario and yes they were the only pair left. Så som du ser har helgen vært meget produktiv.

So while you're crying over you're loss in the slipper department, I'll be sitting here. Drinking a cup of tea, and feeling the toasty sensation of the ultimate mushroom power.

How do you like them bananas?

TheGr3yZon3:
Jamiroquai - Runaway

Pregnant Miserable Self Pitying Loser Pie

2009-06-16T13:50:00.000-07:00

Cake - Short Skirt Long Jacket

I just recently watch the film Waitress, staring Keri Russell, better known as Felicity, and this song has been stuck in my head ever since. There's no wonder I like watching the trailers when they show all the highlights, without the boring facts. It's like reading Spark Notes, and still getting an A plus plus. Of course being the film-o-holic that I am, the trailers only keeps my addiction in check. It's the main attraction that keeps my skin from jumping off my pale and pasty flesh, such uber satisfation you couldn't even begin to comprehend. "Waitress was a let down, but I still watched it" Pie.

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond

I want a girl who knows whats best

I want a girl with shoes that cut

And eyes that burn like cigarettes

I want a girl with the right allocation

Whos fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack

Shes playing with her jewelery,

Shes putting up her hair

Shes touring the facility and picking up slack

I want a girl with a short skirt,

And a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong jacket

Don't we all...

Libertad

2009-06-16T07:58:00.000-07:00

Freedom is a rather broad concept consisting of several possibilities. To have the possibility to be yourself, to be able to determine your own path in life, be treated equally, and so on and so fourth. I myself have very recently been set free from a dusty, gloomy and hectic dungeon. What I'm trying to convey rather dramatically, is simply that I have completed high school, and "stand before you today" as an enlightened and free individual. I'm not saying I experienced school as a hell whole where my professors walks around with tails, and pitchforks, it being illegal to walk around school with such a weapon. No, they were more discreet than that. Although I am willing to bet that one of them was evil reincarnate.

I still haven't been able to rap my head around the fact the my days in the Sandvika penitentiary is over. It still feels as though I'm in fourth grade watching my teacher march back and forth, not daring to take my eyes off of her. Mrs. Miller has always been my favourite teacher. Never in my life have I ever fear and yet, admired a single person as much I do her. She could deafen your ears with a whistle and melt you heart with a wink. She taught me a great deal, most often learning it the hard way. I was completely terrified, up until the day she said she thought I was funny. Well enough of my personal memories. I do hope I'm not boring you. Now where was I before my horrific derailing. Oh, yes. It hasn't yet sunken in that I'm not going back to high school. Something that is both exciting and terrifying. While in school I felt my life was rather repetitive: wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, sleep, rinse and repeat. Almost as if someone was constantly pressing the rewind button.

Now that the play button seems to be functioning properly again, I suddenly feel a rush of emotions. I'm sad because it's over, excited about what the future may have in store for me, completely horrified because I don't know what's going to happen. Stressed out because it all up to me, and slightly alone, but all in all I am ecstatic, that part of my life is over. So to my dear friend Mr. or Mrs. slash Miss. Let us be thorough

Dear Furture,

Bring. It.

TheGr3yZon3:

Electric Light Orchestra - Mr.Blue Sky

You just can't help feeling good, while listening to this song!

Sun is shinin' in the sky
There ain't a cloud in sight
It's stopped rainin'
Ev'rybody's in a playin'
And don't you know
It's a beautiful new day
Hey hey

Runnin' down the avenue
See how the sun shines
Brightly in the city on the streets

Where once was pity. Mister Blue Sky
Is living here today
Hey hey

Mister Blue Sky

Please tell us why

You had to hide away for so long

Where did we go wrong?

Mister Blue Sky

Please tell us why